From: "Jeff Stark" <jstark@nonsensenyc.com>
Subject: nonsensenyc: 5.11 to 5.17
Date: May 11th 2012

Friday, May 11
* Uncanny Parlor Party, Long Island City * Art Pussy: Motherly Love, Brooklyn
* We Have Relocated to Our New Location, Williamsburg * Bayou and Brooklyn Music Festival, Brooklyn * Heavy Metal Parking Lot: 666 Burger Launch Party, Long Island City * The 90s Sing-Along, Brooklyn
* Clim4x, Brooklyn

Saturday, May 12
* Welcome to the Thunderdome, Brooklyn
* Jonathan Toubin’s NYC Comeback Special, Williamsburg * Gravesend Cat Friend's House Party Spring Fete Fundraiser, Brooklyn * Gym Queen, Williamsburg
* Mister Saturday Night, Brooklyn
* Brooklyn Food Conference, Brooklyn
* Coalition of the Illin' 3.0, Brooklyn * Samaritans Cruise, Manhattan
* Diverse Plots, Manhattan
* BYO Art Bushwick, Brooklyn

Sunday, May 13
* On Foot: Brooklyn, Brooklyn
* Animamus Art Salon , Brooklyn
* Love and Light, Brooklyn
* The Magic Garden: Funk vs. Disco, Manhattan * Bingo With Animamus Art Salon, Brooklyn

Tuesday, May 15
* U.S.Oh-No Variety Show, Brooklyn
* Mass Rally in Solidarity With the Global Movement Against Austerity, Manhattan

Wednesday, May 16
* Show-and-Tell, Brooklyn

Thursday, May 17
* Bushwick Book Club Presents F. Scott Fitzgerald's the Great Gatsby, Brooklyn

Wishlist
* Live Theater in Your Home

All That We've Met
* Clothing designer Mari Gustafson

Spectre Priority
* Older Than Continents

Learning
* How Are Young Artists Making It?

Help
* Great Googa Mooga

NOTE: For some navigation help, or an explanation for what this is all about, scroll all the way down to NONSENSE. You'll find snarky editorial comments and little bits of praise littered throughout this list. These nuggets are marked with all caps, like this: NOTE. You can donate to this project at nonsensenyc.com/special.

Also: We make a lot of mistakes, especially with dates; you should always double check our work before you go out.

XXXXX COVER ART XXXXX

Bronze bored Superman.

XXXXX FRIDAY, MAY 11 XXXXX

Uncanny Parlor Party

Please join the National Theater of the United States of America and the Drunkard's Wife for another Uncanny Parlor Party.

Come to get a glimpse of the Golden Veil, the ever-evolving intimate theatrical environment that the National Theater of the United States of America is creating for you out of stuff from our living room.

Hear the songs of the Drunkards Wife, including highlights from our musical play It Didn't Have to Come to This/Tiny Hornets, coming to Uncanny Valley this fall. Enjoy a sneak peek at A Front for Publishing, Uncanny Valley's new May/June storefront residency. Sing, dance, and toast the night away with the residents of Uncanny Valley, our family, friends and lovers.

Uncanny Valley
26-09 Jackson Avenue, Long Island City, Queens G, E, M, or 7 trains to Court Square
10p; $10
g.co/maps/cj47b

NOTE: We listed this incorrectly last week. We're sorry about the error.

***** Also on FRIDAY *****

Art Pussy: Motherly Love

Art Pussy invites you to a celebratory evening of debauchery and experimentation all in the name of the beautiful women that gave birth to us. Come to a brand-new-never-before-used-better-than-ever venue and experience video/music/theater/dance all disappearing within one another throughout a three hour stage-directed performance. Two stages. Many acts. Everything will be filmed and the audience is the main protagonist of the show. Art Pussy aims to please. We want to give you goosebumps. We want to make your toes curl. Comfort food and booze available all night long. After party will continue until we are told to leave.

Starring Jon Mizrachi, Clouder, Public Speaking, Ice Cream, Deadbeat, Boxguts, Shadowbox, Il Abanico, Balun, Legitimate Sons, and DJ Tony. Plus live painting, theater, dance, and opera.

Paper Box
17 Meadow Street, Brooklyn
9p sharp-midnight; $8
artpussy.com

***** Also on FRIDAY *****

We Have Relocated to Our New Location

Poster show. Editions published and printed by Kayrock Screenprinting. Featuring work by Morgan Blair, Amanda Browder, Colette Robbins, Vince Contarino, Vincent Como, Brady Dollarhide, Maya Hayuk, Bill Kaizen, Karl LaRocca, Eli Lehrhoff, Casey Loose, Elisita Punto, Kristen Schiele, Chris Uphues, Kayrock and Wolfy, and Mark Wagner.

Picture Farm
338 Wythe Avenue, Williamsburg, Brooklyn 6-9p;
kayrock.org/editions

***** Also on FRIDAY *****

Bayou and Brooklyn Music Festival

Second annual music festival. Sound of Cajun fiddles and zydeco accordions fill the air during Bayou and Brooklyn's three-day Cajun-Creole-Zydeco Festival transforming this gem-of-a venue into a haven for bayou-born sounds, dancing, community jam sessions, dance bands, and opportunities to join in playing a rubboard. Take a journey along walls through the eyeballs of artist Eric P. Richardson, make reverie at an open jam session or feast on Saturday night's Louisiana-famous Jesse Lege's gumbo (the real deal). Celebrity Cajun and Creole musicians flying up north of the Mason Dixon Line for this event. It’s like a visit to NOLA followed by some Acadiana without leaving Brooklyn.

Jalopy Theatre and School of Music
315 Columbia Street, between Hamilton and Woodhull, Brooklyn 7:30p-midnight; $15 one day pass, $35 for three days Continues through SUNDAY
bayou-n-brooklyn.com
jalopy.biz

***** Also on FRIDAY *****

Heavy Metal Parking Lot: 666 Burger Launch Party

This Friday the city's only Satanic Burger truck will be celebrating its launch with an old school Heavy Metal Parking Lot Party.

Think: An enormous empty parking lot with majestic views of Manhattan, an evil looking truck slinging burgers, fries (and special surprises) and Heavy Metal superstar DJ Monachus droppin block rockin beats on the 1's an 2's. BYOB, though we may have some on hand. Also, you'll have the chance to sample 666 Burger's new discovery - a legal drug that does awesome things to you.

Water Taxi Parking Lot
54th Avenue and 2nd Street, Long Island City, Queens 8p-midnight; $free

***** Also on FRIDAY *****

The 90s Sing-Along

It’s time again to celebrate our favorite decade of music the 90s. We’ve got lots of new music videos subtitled and ready for you to sing along with plus plenty of 90s Sing-Along favorites that you oughta know.

Over two hours of 90s music videos projected on the big screen with all the words so the entire crowd can sing along. Weezer, Spice Girls, Snoop Dogg, Alanis Morissette, Ace of Base, NSYNC, Nirvana, Coolio, Harvey Danger, Right Said Fred, TLC, Vanilla Ice, Mark Morrison, Oasis, LL Cool J, Smashmouth, Boyz II Men, Counting Crows -- if you love it and it’s from the 90s it’s probably in there.

Wear your 90s band T-shirts, flannel or neon windbreakers for the 90s Costume Contest. Show off your 90s dance moves in the Dance Off. Win free drinks and 90s memorabilia.

Legion Bar
790 Metropolitan Avenue, Brooklyn
9p pre-show, 10p show; $free
718 387 3797
secretformulany.tumblr.com/post/22653319558/the-90s-sing-along

***** Also on FRIDAY *****

Clim4x

NYC Ravers invites you to an unforgettable night. Our fourth installment of our Jello wrestling extravaganza, Clim4x, features over 36 DJs spinning all forms of electronic dance music in a cavernous 1600-plus, three-room, indoor/outdoor venue in the heart of Brooklyn. Headlining: Danny the WIldchild, Rob GEE, DJ Scotto (Founder of the NASA parties), DJ 2Rip, Jen Mas, Empress, and Mighty Mike Saga. We’ve pulled out all the stops for this one with over 40 intelligent lighting installations, custom made decorations, and collage based UV reactive artwork by the NYCR Art Collective and most importantly jello wrestling in a bouncy castle streamed on three projectors throughout the venue all night.

Electric Warehouse
1428 Fulton Street, Brooklyn
A,C trains to Nostrand station
9p doors; $25
18 and over

XXXXX SATURDAY, MAY 12 XXXXX

Bobby Redd presents:

Welcome to the Thunderdome

We are building a giant dome, rigging it with bungees, and drenching you in beer so you can fight to the death in a 19th century church. Music by Savage Severe and Comandante Zero. Special effects by Light Harvest Studios.

626 Bushwick Avenue, Brooklyn
JMZ to Myrtle
10p-3a; $10 presale, $15 limited door, discounted entrance if you come in an awesome costume 2menenter1manleaves.eventbrite.com/
facebook.com/events/298128716930539/

***** Also on SATURDAY *****

Jonathan Toubin’s NYC Comeback Special

The Night Train is back on track for the first time since December and this is my first mail to the list in over five months. As most of you know I've been in Portland, or recovering from a little scrape but am back home and started officially working. I am thrilled to finally be back in nyc and can't wait to get back to you and doing what i love to do. I have hundreds of the best records I've ever played from a rustbelt record buying trip before the accident and can't wait to figure out what they do together on the dance floor. Featuring a short 1a dance contest in the middle for a $100 cash grand prize and a $75 Metropolis Vintage shopping spree 2nd prize. This is the party that New York Night Train is best known for outside of New York and has managed to stay fun (and actually improve) through over five amazing years.

Glasslands Gallery
289 Kent, Williamsburg, Brooklyn
midnight-4a; $? (usually $7 or something)

***** Also on SATURDAY *****

Gravesend Cat Friend's House Party Spring Fete Fundraiser

Help raise funds for Gravesend Cat Friends, a group that does Trap-Neuter-Return work with stray/feral cats in South East Brooklyn to combat the pet overpopulation problem. Will be held in a large, five bedroom apartment with plenty of room for mingling in the very safe neighborhood known as Midwood, Brooklyn.

Elisabeth's Apartment
1122 Avenue P, no. 2, Brooklyn
Q train to Kingshighway station
9:30p-12:30a; $20, includes free drinks/cocktails/beer and food gravesendcats]at]gmail.com
RSVP: facebook.com/#!/events/288098404598283/

***** Also on SATURDAY *****

Hey Queen! presents:

Gym Queen

Hey Queen! is an avant gay multi-gender queer dance party featuring a new theme every month. Are you ready to feel the pump? It's almost bikini season and it's time to shed that winter layers. All bodies are beautiful and they'll be no shortage of beef so come get physical and work it out on our dance floor. We promise you by the end of the night you'll want to shake Charles Atlas by the hand.

Public Assembly
70 North 6th Street, Williamsburg, Brooklyn 10p-4a; $3 before 11p, $5 after
tinyurl.com/heyqueen

***** Also on SATURDAY *****

Mister Saturday Night

Mister Saturday Night takes over the House of Yes for their last party there until the end of June. We drop a big disco ball from the 40-something-foot-high ceiling, Justin Carter and Eamon Harkin DJ, and you shuttle between cozy corners for chatting and the wood dancefloor for getting down. Beer's on the house for the first hour of the party, and it's still pretty cheap after that. Dancing's free all night.

House of Yes
342 Maujer Street, between Waterbury and Morgan, Brooklyn 10p-6a; $10 before midnight with RSVP, $15 otherwise 21 and over
mister]at]mistersaturdaynight.com

***** Also on SATURDAY *****

Brooklyn Food Conference

The Brooklyn Food Conference is a free community event featuring everything you ever wanted to know about food and the NYC food movement. There are over 180 workshops, panels, films, and presentations on all aspects of food, from how to cook vegan entrees to the state of NYC food policy.

It's a chance to connect with neighbors, farmers, celebrity chefs, foodies, emergency food advocates, farmworkers, union leaders, fishermen, mayoral candidates, famous food authors, and every other kind of person with a vested interest in healthy, sustainable, and just food for the people of Brooklyn. It isn't to be missed. The last one in 2009 drew over 5,000 people and helped catalyze a new era of food politics in our city--this time we expect 7,000. Come for the food, stay for the people.

Brooklyn Technical High School
29 Fort Greene Place, Brooklyn
9a-6p, 7-9p; $free, $8 for lunch
furee.org/news/events/bfc-afterparty
bkfoodconference.org

***** Also on SATURDAY *****

Coalition of the Illin' 3.0

The third round in a series of beat-centric events featuring some of New York and Philadelphia's most promising rising stars in the underground beat-centric music scene. We will be throwing down in our large and highly unique warehouse space, called the Mezz. We will also have artist merch, vinyls, cd's, and other cool underground musician stuff for sale if you want. Headlining artists are Ohbliv, Ducky, Suzi Analogue, Sir Froderick, among others throughout the night. We will also feature a bunch of DJs, and multiple talented VJs projecting onto a gigantic wall. Basically an ensemble of dopeness throughout the evening.

91 Meserole Street, Brooklyn
L train to Montrose station
10p-4a; $5
21 and over

***** Also on SATURDAY *****

Samaritans Cruise

We are hosting a concert and cruise. There will be a band and DJ on a two-level chartered ship, the Star of Palm Beach. The three-hour sunset cruise will tour the southern tip of Manhattan. There will be an afterparty at West Village bar the Brooklyneer, which is donating a mug of beer to attendees that purchase tickets online.

Band: Hollis Brown and DJ White Gilt. All proceeds go to the Samaritans of New York, a nonprofit that operates the City's only 24-hour confidential suicide hotline, as well as education and support groups in New York.

Star of Palm Beach
Leaving from Pier 40, at Hudson River Park, Manhattan 6:30p; $20 advance, $25 door
samaritansnyc.org/benefit/cruise.php

***** Also on SATURDAY *****

Diverse Plots

Diverse Plots is a multimedia installation and performance set in the 6th and B Garden on Manhattan's Lower East Side, and is created by the Diverse Plots Ensemble in cooperation with members of the garden. Through dialogue and interviews with current garden members, Diverse Plots features the extraordinary history, passion, and resilience of this strong community.

Housed in one of New York City's oldest and most beautiful community gardens for one night only, this project explores and celebrates the stories and history of the garden, creating an immersive environment for attendees to explore. The garden is transformed into an ethereal light-filled landscape featuring multiple points of video projection and a live musical performance by a six-person ensemble.

The Diverse Plots Ensemble is a group of accomplished interdisciplinary artists from Brooklyn College's Performance and Interactive Media Arts MFA program, featuring Briggan Krauss, Daniel Munkus, Ellery Royston, Jules Gimbrone, and Tinuade Oyelowo.

6th and B Garden
East 6th Street and Avenue B, Manhattan 7:30-10p; $?

***** Also on SATURDAY *****

BYO Art Bushwick

The Living Gallery is holding an art opening inspired by an event Hennessy Youngman organized. It offers anyone a chance to be in the opening, just bring your own art. The opening is the instillation. There will be live music and dance performances.

1087 Flushing Avenue, Brooklyn
7-11p; $free

XXXXX SUNDAY, MAY 13 XXXXX

On Foot: Brooklyn

During the 91 days of the project On Foot: Brooklyn, Wandelweiser composer Craig Shepard will travel everywhere he goes by foot. Each week from February 21 to May 21, 2012, he will compose a new piece and write it down. Every Sunday, he will walk from Greenpoint to a different location in Brooklyn and perform the new piece in an outdoor public space. All walks and performances are rain or shine.

Listeners can happen upon the performance as passerby, travel to the performance site, or join the silent, cell-phone free walks to or from the performance sites. Listeners can join the Sunday walks by registering via email to craig]at]craigshepard.net.

RSVP for exact location, Sunset Park, Brooklyn 9:15a sharp; $free
craig]at]craigshepard.net

***** Also on SUNDAY *****

Animamus Art Salon

Celebrate Mother's Day by dressing as your favorite elderly relative (living or dead) playing bingo in the basement of St. John's Lutheran Church.

Animamus provides a safe, supportive environment for artists of all mediums to debut and discuss their current work while encouraging audience participation. Monthly curated traveling salons create temporary communities where artists can exchange ideas amongst the peers and the public in NYC.

Animamus Art Salon will feature the work of artists, Laura Bernstein, Ari Dallas, Shir Lieberman, Ben McKelahan, the Desktop Project, Taylor Spong, and Yoshiaki Takao. Mixing up the mediums will be Marcy Arlin of the Immigrant Theater Project reading new works, performance by contortionist the Amazing Amy, a preview of couture men's wears by Ferris Clothiers, a talk on self love by Laura Lee Gulledge and Audiosmut, and a special delicacy prepared by Chef Anne Apparu. In addition to the performances and presentations we will also tour the church's sanctuary.

St. John's Lutheran Church
155 Milton Street, Brooklyn
7-11p; $10
brownpapertickets.com/event/247939

***** Also on SUNDAY *****

Bubbles and Bass presents:

Love and Light

The black lights have dimmed and you're still up so come chillax with the best of our community. Following Disorient and Kostume Kult's Black and Light Ball, Bubbles and Bass is throwing the afterparty the way it should be: fun, friends, and sunshine.

The champagne will be flowing at the bar, the music will bring alive the play in you. We'll be relaxing in the cuddle puddle and on a beautiful Brooklyn rooftop. As the warmth of the morning rushes over you, connect with an old friend or start a conversation with a new one.

This fundraiser is going to support our sunrise circus, circus play on the playa. Sunrise Circus is about inclusivity, breaking down the boundaries between performer and observer, encouraging all to find the joy in the experience of play. There will be a plethora of circus toys and equipment to make your morning special.

Special performers include: Jill Maglio and Jeff Cacossa, juggling duo extraordinare; Telah Quemere, hoops and sunrise fire. Featuring the musical stylings of DJ Everyday, Mystika, and DJ $mall ¢hange.

Private Loft
255 Douglass Street, Brooklyn
4-11a;
bubblesandbass.ticketleap.com/loveandlight

***** Also on SUNDAY *****

No Parking Productions and NYC Silent Disco present:

The Magic Garden: Funk vs. Disco

Get your groove on for a beautiful Sunday evening in one of NYC's most lovely neighborhood gardens. No Parking teams up with NYC Silent Disco to bring the best some A-list funk and disco DJs to go head to head. Two channels on our headphone party system, you get to pick which DJ does it for you.

On the funk/soul side: Chairman Mao, DJ Prestige, and Nydia Ines. On the disco/boogie side: Monk-One, Patrick Billard, and $mall ¢hange. Kid friendly (leave the booze at home, or enjoy a drink at any of the neighborhood bars); plenty of room for hoops and other dance toys; "no parking" in full effect.

The cost of the event is $20. This gets you a headphone set up for the evening. In addition to this cost, each participant must bring a valid debit / credit card as part of the headphone check out process. At the end of the night, any participants who do not return their headset, or who return a broken headset, will be charged the full replacement cost of the headset to this debit / credit card.

La Plaza Cultural
Corner of 9th Street and Avenue C, Manhattan 3-9p; $15 advance, $20 door
brownpapertickets.com/event/248086 ($20 at door) facebook.com/events/134780263319384/

***** Also on SUNDAY *****

Bingo With Animamus Art Salon

Animamus Art Salon invites you to celebrate Mother's Day by dressing as your favorite elderly relative (living or dead) playing bingo in the basement of St. John's Lutheran Church.

Animamus provides a safe, supportive environment for artists of all mediums to debut and discuss their current work while encouraging audience participation. Monthly curated traveling salons create temporary communities where artists can exchange ideas amongst the peers and the public in NYC.

Animamus Art Salon will feature the work of artists, Laura Bernstein, Ari Dallas, Shir Lieberman, Ben McKelahan, the Desktop Project, Taylor Spong, and Yoshiaki Takao. Mixing up the mediums will be Marcy Arlin of the Immigrant Theater Project reading new works, performance by contortionist the Amazing Amy, a preview of couture men's wears by Ferris Clothiers, a talk on self love by Laura Lee Gulledge and Audiosmut, and a special delicacy prepared by Chef Anne Apparu! In addition to the performances and presentations we will also tour the church's sanctuary.

St. John's Lutheran Church
155 Milton Street, Brooklyn
7-11p; $10
brownpapertickets.com/event/247939

XXXXX TUESDAY, MAY 15 XXXXX

U.S.Oh-No Variety Show

The U.S.Oh-No Variety Show showcases the crass and the class. We pay tribute to the traditional U.S.O. shows of yesteryear with a dose of patriotic debauchery sure to make you salute. This carefully curated line up of some of NYC’s most talented and interestingly curious stage performers will let you rest assured that the evening will be nothing less than absurd. Not to mention an open mic spot,raffles, games, and surprises. Featuring Rachel Green, Bombazeen Bean, Heather Loop, the Goon, Jonny Porkpie, Mysterion the Mind Reader, Jo Boobs, featuring DJ. Col. Jesse P. Hosted by Scary Ben.

Grand Victory Bar
245 Grand Street, Brooklyn
8:30p doors, 9p show; $7, $5 in costume

***** Also on TUESDAY *****

Mass Rally in Solidarity With the Global Movement Against Austerity

Join Occupy Wall Street and a broad affiliation of local Economic and Social Justice Organizations as we answer the call sent out from the Indignados for a Global Spring. This action will focus on the banks and their role in the Global Economic Crisis.

This will be the culmination of a week of action encompassing many issues facing people in the world, from health care, environment, food justice, education, war, police brutality, immigration rights, mass incarceration, debt, jobs, and housing, it's time to stand up and show our solidarity with people across the globe, the country and our own city.

We will be leading Financial Crimes Walking Tours, where groups of people will be brought to some of the worst offenders doorsteps for teach-ins about their misdeeds and how they have contributed to the current global crisis.

Bryant Park
42nd Street and 6th Avenue, Manhattan
4p; $free
facebook.com/anothernyc
anothernyc.org/

XXXXX WEDNESDAY, MAY 16 XXXXX

Show-and-Tell

After more than a year at the City Reliquary, Paul Lukas' monthly Show-and-Tell series has settled in for a nice spring residency at Cabinet in Gowanus (although we forgot to list it in Nonsense for the past two months -- oops).

Show-and-Tell is exactly what it sounds like: Anyone can bring an object of personal significance and talk about it for up to three minutes. Objects that have previously been presented have ranged from the eccentric (a glass eye, an electroshock machine found in an abandoned mental hospital, a watch smuggled out of North Korea) to the everyday (a candy bar with an odd connection to a Chinese funeral, a pair of jeans acquired via some highly unusual haggling at an Egyptian village market, a quarter with a hole drilled in it).

But Show-and-Tell isn't really about the objects -- it's about the stories attached to them. Look in your pocket or bag -- there's probably a good Show-and-Tell object in there right now.

You can either (a) bring an object and be prepared to talk about it or (b) simply be part of the audience, because you can't have Show-and-Tell without people to be shown and told. Either way, it's a good time.

Cabinet
300 Nevins Street, Gowanus, Brooklyn
R to Union Street station
7:30p; $free, with complimentary beer
plukas64]at]gmail.com

XXXXX THURSDAY, MAY 17 XXXXX

Bushwick Book Club Presents F. Scott Fitzgerald's the Great Gatsby

Delight in Gatsby-themed drink specials and snacks as you revel in new, original music by Ben Folstein, Dan and Rachel, Emily Einhorn, Juliet Strong, Matthew Varvil, Memo Salazar, Susan Hwang and others.

Puppet co-host, Cory, will help guide you through this descent into the sensory bliss known as songs about books. Puppeteer, filmmaker and musician, Ben Folstein will be co-hosting with Susan Hwang and puppet-friend, Cory.

Goodbye Blue Monday
1087 Broadway, Brooklyn
J,M,Z trains to Myrtle
8:30p; $free
718 453 6343
bushwickbookclub.com
bushwickbookclub.bandcamp.com
facebookclub.com/bushwickbookclub

XXXXX UPCOMING XXXXX

• Ende Tymes Festival of Experimental Liberation, May 17-20
• Eighth Annual Bicycle Fetish Day, May 26
• The Ascent, June 14-16

XXXXX ONGOING XXXXX

Nonsense is too long. The great thing about the internet is that it doesn't really cost much to run long listings and exhaustive descriptions. It turns out that's ... exhausting. Just to read it. So, on the first Friday of the month run updated ongoing listings in each section: Events, Learning, and Help. Other weeks we're going for leaner, meaner sections. If you're desperate for something to do on an off-Tuesday night we suggest you either look back a few issues ago in your inbox, or poke through our online archives, which you can find under the subscribe page.

Also, a note about better rock shows. Nonsense does not straight list rock shows in New York unless they occur in tandem with puppet shows or jump rope tournaments or in subway tunnels or in graveyards. For listings of good shows, especially shows that feature independent bands at quality venues like Death by Audio and those booked by hard-working promoters like Todd P or Sleep When Dead, consult resources like ohmyrockness.com, brooklynvegan.com/, sleepwhendeadnyc.com/calendar/, garagepunknyc.com, and eardrumnyc.com. For the most exhaustive list of underground shows at unusual venues, track down a copy of the extremely useful -- and handsome -- Showpaper.

XXXXX WISHLIST XXXXX

What have you been wishing for? Collaborators, grant monies, a new home? Please send brief listings to Alita at alita]at]nonsensenyc.com. We only list available apartments, lofts, studios, and one-off rentals -- not spaces wanted.

***** ARTY STUFF *****

• Art Helpers Needed. We're out in Far Rockaway doing the final big push to get everything done for the Boatel opening on May 16. The Boatel is a sprawling art and sound installation on 16 boats and five large docks at Marina 59. People rent the boats to stay overnight on the water. This Friday through Tuesday we're trying to get some extra hands down here to help build. We have a really fun crew, and some accommodations may be arranged here if needed. We'll feed you too: Porter Fox is going out with some local fisherman to catch some strippers, and I'll be making margaritas. You can check out the project at marina59.com. If you're interested give me a call. Orien 646 221 7782.
• The world traveling inflatable bike ride is not just for the big kids anymore. May 19, the Aeolian Ride will be joining the 2012 Rockaway Bike Parade. Aeolian Ride is inviting kids ages 12 and up who would be interested in putting on an inflatable costume and riding with us. Parents are welcome to ride along. We will be suiting up adults as well with the remaining costumes. Date: May 19, 10a meetup, parade ends at noon. Parade departs at from the Jacob Riis Bathhouse, Gateway National Recreation Area. Route will be along Rockaway Beach Boardwalk. Ends at Beach 97 at the boardwalk. There will be a celebration at 1p. Sign up here: aeolian-ride.info/signup.html
• Call for installation artists to recreate pillow books: Site-specific performance producers Peculiar Works Project are seeking a variety of daring, boundary-crossing artists to create immersive installations for a live performance featuring contemporary recreations of classic erotic pillow books. Each artist will be given a room, material resources, and stipend as well as a team of collaborators to realize an eight-minute, repeating, performed installation. All together, Spring Pictures of the Floating World will perform June 28-July 1 in a large site in the East Village where audiences will move from space to space, charting their own performance experiences throughout the exhibition hours. Asian pillow books thrived in a time and place beyond western religion and original sin (Google “shunga” for details). This project is open to all types of artists interested in creating one part of a fantastical pleasure palace, utilizing design, paint, sculpture, costumes, puppets , prosthetics, and more. It’s a fun and informative way to explore cultural difference, the western gaze, and sexual boundaries. More information can be found at peculiarworks.org/pillow.html. If you’re interested and available in June, contact pillow(at)peculiarworks.org by May 18 with a resume or bio, and let us know your interest and questions.

***** SPACES *****

*Host Live Theater in Your Home: English theater group MORA needs your NYC kitchen to stage a site-specific hour-long show. Each performance will be intimate, individual, and immersive. See: crumbletheplay.wordpress.com

XXXXX ALL THAT WE'VE MET XXXXX

All That We've Met is Pauline Pechin's series of interviews with artists, underground influencers, and people with interesting stories. You can email her here: pauline.pechin(at)gmail.com

This week: Clothing designer Mari Gustafson

What's offensive to you?

"I don't like pot smoke. I really hate when they say 'nigger' in rap lyrics. I can say 'cunt,' which maybe they can't say, but I just hate that word. I mean, we should be aware [that it exists]; I respect their right to use it."

Read the complete interview on Sunday at allthatwevemet.com

XXXXX SPECTRE PRIORITY XXXXX

Before we had a name, the Spectre Event Horizon Group used to meet at a bar to commiserate and trade what our business friends like to call "best practices." The group has expanded since then, but it remains focused on smartening the crowd mind. There are no subject limits; our favorites are the incredible sci-fi present, or anything that goes toward a better understanding of human behavior and our universe's ecology. Our simple intent is to connect good minds with as much quality mind-blowing information as we can freely locate, and create a space for the informal trade of specialized investigative research, presented for the non-specialist.

The Spectre email list, which is a separate group from this column, is a moderated open forum. People are encouraged to join and to post. The list is compiled for Nonsense by J. Sinopoli. Contact us at spectre.event.horizon.group gmail com or spectregroup.org / spectrevision.org. Here's some of what came in this week:

***** Older Than Continents *****

spectrevision.net/2012/05/10/older-than-continents/

"Fossils show that the cypress family is a very ancient group of plants," says LMU biologist Susanne Renner. "We suspected that it might be possible to follow their evolutionary history back to the period before the break-up of Pangea." Renner and her research group therefore set out to reconstruct the cypress family tree, based on the comparison of specific gene sequences from 122 species belonging to 32 genera reflecting the family's worldwide distribution. In order to date divergence events, they applied the concept of the molecular clock. The idea is based on a simple principle: when two lineages diverge from a common ancestor, each accumulates genetic substitutions independent from the other. To a first approximation, the number of unique substitutions provides a measure of the time that has elapsed since a species diverged from its sister species. By comparing the spectra of genetic changes found in different lineages and calibrating the amount of change with fossils, o ne can therefore reconstruct a group's history.

"Over the past 15 years, these molecular methods, in combination with new fossil finds, have revolutionized the study of biogeography, the branch of biology concerned with understanding the distribution patterns of animal and plant species," says Renner. Some groups have turned out to be surprisingly young in evolutionary terms, others much older than people had assumed. The new study confirms that cypresses represent a very old plant family. Their origins can be traced back to Pangea, and the evolutionary divergence of the northern and southern subfamilies of cypresses actually reflects the break-up of Pangea about 153 million years ago. As fragmentation progressed and ancestral lineages were separated from each other, new lineages were established and followed separate evolutionary trajectories. The Cupressaceae is the first plant family whose evolutionary history gives us such a detailed picture of the break-up of a supercontinent."

XXXXX LEARNING XXXXX

We look for the sort of classes you circled in college course catalogs but never managed to fit into your schedule. And we also look for the kind of things that no college could teach. Cheap and eclectic is the rule, though all rules get broken occasionally, and we especially love workshops, round-tables, and teachers who won’t take your work out of your hands and show you how to do it right. One-time listings are categorized weekly,with general recurring classes listed at the end on the first Friday of each month We thrive on your suggestions, so make sure to tell us about upcoming classes that you think are nifty-keen.

Learning is compiled and edited weekly by KD Derr. Send listing suggestions to learning(at)nonsensenyc.com.

NOTE: Nonsense is looking for an editor for the Learning section. This is a volunteer position that is not without reward. You'll be helping your fellow readers learn about all kinds of classes all over the city. Plus you will get take over the prestigious learning(at)nonsensenyc.com email address. This email address has low traffic with a high volume of really awesome classes that you find out about first. This does not guarantee but minimizes the instances of classes being sold out before you sign up. You should be detail oriented, punctual, and it helps if you know what a serial comma is. We'd love a one-year commitment. Still interested? Please email jstark]at]nonsensenyc with Learning Editor in the subject line.

***** LEARNING: MONDAY *****

A Most Unexpected History of Blood Transfusion (1660 - 1820s)

Those living in Britain about ten years ago might remember Sean Bean before he became a famous movie star. Apart from his appearance in Sharpe, he starred in a television advertisement for the National Blood Foundation, prompting people in his thick Yorkshire accent to do something amazing today save a life by giving blood. The foundation’s message is still the same, though Sean Bean has moved onto other projects such as Lord of the Rings. In any case, this illustrated lecture is about just that: the transfusion of blood and its many meanings. But it focuses on a much earlier and stranger period of transfusion history when saving a life was only one reason to transfuse blood from the sixteenth century to the nineteenth.

543 Union Street, Brooklyn
8p; $free
Observatory room.org

***** LEARNING: TUESDAY *****

Growing Without Dirt

Urban greenscaping with particular emphasis on helping city dwellers to grow some of their own fresh food using modern user-friendly methods with innovator Bob Hyland could there be anyone more appropriate and hydroponics for sustainable agriculture with Gwen Hill who is chock full of knowledge.

Brooklyn Non-Dirt Talk
1118 Cortelyou Road, Brooklyn
7:30-9:30p; $free

***** LEARNING: WEDNESDAY *****

How Are Young Artists Making It?

The Bronx Council on the Arts (BCA) and Cultural Strategies Initiative (CSI) and invite you to an artist Town Hall Meeting on Wednesday, May 16th, from 6:00-8:00pm, at Pregones Theater to discuss How Are Young Artists Making It? What’s Next? And Who’s Bringing It?

Cultural Strategies Initiative and the Bronx Council on the Arts Pregones Theater
571-575 Walton Avenue, Bronx
5:30p; $free with RSVP
bcatownhall051612.eventbrite.com

***** LEARNING: WEDNESDAY *****

Affordable Housing: How Do We Get What We Need

Have you ever wondered just what affordable housing is. Learn how you can get involved in bringing more affordable housing to your neighborhood. Jackie Moynahan of the north Brooklyn-based advocacy group Neighbors Allied for Good Growth (NAG) will help you navigate the complexities of New York City housing, and learn how to become an effective advocate for better affordable housing options in your neighborhood.

Flux Factory
39-31 29th Street, Long Island City, Queens 7-9p; $free
fluxfactory.org

***** LEARNING: FRIDAY *****

Creative Writing Workshops

Join us for NYWC Day, a day of free workshops in all 5 boroughs of New York City. Workshops will take place day and night. NYWC creates writing communities where no one ever thought they could exist, so on May 18 we will spin that idea in a fun new direction, and hold workshops in surprising and iconic NYC spots.

New York Writers Coalition
various times and locations; $free
nywriterscoalition.org/2012/03/23/celebrate-10-years-of-nywc-by-taking-a-free-creative-writing-workshop-nywc-day-may-18/

XXXXX HELP XXXXX

It is a wonderful thing, to help. Helping strengthens communities and allows you to meet new friends. With that in mind, we look for one-day volunteer opportunities with no long-term commitment required. We want to be open to fresh ideas and think of help in a broad way. These listings could include anything from a large-scale day-long service project to a local theatre company that needs volunteers for load-in; from an artist looking for film extras to a community garden that needs a few extra hands. Our goal is simply to help groups or individuals that serve the greater good in small but significant ways. Unique and interesting job opportunities are acceptable fare for this section as well. Looking for ways to help out? Need volunteers to get your own community project off the ground? Know of any existing opportunities? Send your requests to MeeO at meeo(at)nonsensenyc.com.

***** HELP: SOON *****

Beam Camp

Beam Camp is an overnight summer program in Strafford, New Hampshire, where kids 7-17 learn to make their ideas happen through fine and manual arts, technology, and collaboration. Every session campers collaborate on a spectacular Beam Project and engage with our full-time and visiting staff of professional architects, videographers, builders, engineers, designers, and makers of all kinds. They swim, hike, play games, and enjoy 750 acres of mountain, forests, and lakes, while transforming ideas into artifacts and personal achievement into community success. We're looking for some great counselors to join us this summer.

beamcamp.com/staff-application/

***** HELP: SOON *****

Great Googa Mooga

The Good Dog Foundation is looking for volunteers to sell refreshments at the Great Googa Mooga festival in Prospect Park to raise funds for its animal-assisted therapy programs. Proceeds from the event will help raise money to train therapy dogs and provide healing services to people in need. The following shifts are available on May 19 and 20: noon-3p, 3-6p, 6-9p

Prospect Park, Brooklyn
Saturday, May 19 to Sunday, May 20
Send resume to Ali at afine]at]thegooddogfoundation.org. Specify your preferred volunteer date and shift in your email googamooga.com

***** HELP: SOON *****

Dance Performance at Coney Island

Choreographer seeking approximately five volunteers for an outdoor, freestyle spontaneous dance performance in Coney Island. Will need: someone to loan a boombox and join in if possible; people who like to dance -- at least three people; and someone to videotape (mobile phone video OK).

Amateurs welcome, but seeking those enthusiastic about dance music. Dress is flexible. Costume or regular clothing.

cornucopiausa]at]gmail.com

***** HELP: SOON *****

Recycle at the 2012 AIDS Walk

Join us in Central Park on Sunday, May 20 to spread the recycling word and encourage recycling for over 40,000 people at the 2012 AIDS Walk. We will be providing training, snacks, and t-shirts. Help us green one of New York's biggest outdoor events of the year. Don't let one water bottle from the event end up in the landfill. Sign up here and lend your time to making a difference by teaching New Yorkers about recycling and reuse. All volunteers must be 18 years of age or older to sign up.

bit.ly/ILFgAM

XXXXX NONSENSE XXXXX

nonsense nyc is a discriminating resource for independent art, weird events, strange happenings, unique parties, and senseless culture in new york city.

please remember that you are always free to pass nonsense nyc along to anyone who needs to see it, but you do not have permission to use any of the listings for your commercial publication. if you are receiving this list as a forward from someone else you can sign up for yourself at nonsensenyc.com/subscribe.

we accept donations to cover the costs of producing this list, and suggest $5 a year from individual readers or $20 a year if we list your events. to be clear, this is not a traditional subscription, but a donation because you believe that independent artists should support other independent artists. if you've ever paid for a ticket to see your friend's band you know what we mean. you can make donations here: nonsensenyc.com/special/. and thank you.

XXXXX END XXXXX

Stuck with Superman.