Date: March 5th 2010

Friday, March 5
* Three Pianos, Manhattan
* Flight 18, Manhattan
* Swimming Cities Oceans of Blood Floating Island Fundraiser, Manhattan * Fountain NY, Manhattan
* Emma, Manhattan
* Underwater New York at Free Music Friday: An Evening of Shipwreck Stories and Songs, Manhattan * Rubulad Presents: Winter Is a Drag! Brooklyn * Wonderneath, Brooklyn
* First Frideay, Manhattan

Saturday, March 6
* Brooklyn Wild Parrot Safari, Brooklyn * Dub Shop at Kleio Projects, Manhattan * Worlds Fairs in 3-D, Manhattan
* We Love the Golden Girls 3, Manhattan * SITE Fest, Brooklyn
* Uncle Monsterface and Friends, Williamsburg * Broads With Balls, HerStory Strips Back, Manhattan

Sunday, March 7
* Alt.Oscar Awards and Dance Party, Manhattan * Freddy’s Art Show Retrospective: Epilogue as Prologue, Brooklyn * Jank! Brooklyn
* Church of Craft, Brooklyn
* Bavarian Oskar Party (Schuhplattler), Williamsburg * Haiti Benefit, Manhattan

Monday, March 8
* Open City Dialogue: Pigeon Life, Williamsburg * Benefit for Ray's Candy Store, Manhattan

Tuesday, March 9
* A Mind-Blowing Night, Brooklyn

Wednesday, March 10
* Warper Four Year Anniversary Blowout, Williamsburg

Thursday, March 11
* Bestial Vertigo: Peep Show, Manhattan

Wishlist
* Wreckign room

Spectre
* Did You Feel That?

Learning
* Personal Finance Resources for Artists

Help
* State of the Art

NOTE: For some navigation help, or an explanation for what this is all about, scroll all the way down to NONSENSE. You'll find snarky editorial comments and little bits of praise littered throughout this list. These nuggets are marked with all caps, like this: NOTE. Also, we make a lot of mistakes, especially with dates; you should always double check our work. And you can donate to this project at nonsensenyc.com/special.

XXXXX COVER ART XXXXX

Light show in the Gasholder.

XXXXX FRIDAY, MARCH 5 XXXXX

Three Pianos

Three raconteurs, each at his own piano, lead the audience through their respective passions for Winterreise, Schubert's famous song cycle on winter heartbreak -- performing the songs, grappling with fundamental questions about the nature of music, slipping into the skins of Schubert and friends, and drinking way too much. Compositional mayhem, shifting rivalries, and some unfortunate butchery of the German language ensue. Includes a reenactment of a Schubertiad, Schubert's famous drunken music salon parties, complete with endless amounts of free wine.

The Ontological-Hysteric Theater,
2nd Avenue, at 10th Street, above St. Marks Church, Manhattan 8p; $14-17
Continues through March 20
hoipolloiworld.com/threepianos

***** Also on FRIDAY *****

Flight 18

A captain and their crew has transformed a large seaport building into a space ship and will try to get it off the ground to take a trip around the universe. A conscientious sci-fi performance art experience for the entire planet. Discreet BYOB, also bring an open mind and come prepared to dance a bunch.

210 Front Street, at Beekman, Manhattan 7:49p sharp; $18
Continues THURSDAY through SUNDAY through March flight18.net

***** Also on FRIDAY *****

Swimming Cities Oceans of Blood Floating Island Fundraiser

100 works of art by up-and-coming and established artists like Swoon, Tom Beale, Imminent Disaster, Tony Bones, Jeff Stark, Virginia Reath and Tod Seelie. Prices starting at $50. Music by DJ Small Change, Matt Shadetek, and 2Melo.

Walker Stage
56 Walker Street, Manhattan
7p, 7-9p open bar; $10 entry, all proceeds go to the Swimming Cities Ganges River project and the fabrication of a modular island composed of stainless steel motorcycle-driven paddle wheel pontoon boats for use as a floating venue in New York this spring. weareswimmingcities.org

***** Also on FRIDAY *****

Fountain NY

Fountain Art Fair is a guerrilla -style art event, dubbed by many as the Anti Art Fair for its brash, off-the-wall offerings of non-traditional art exhibitions in the art fair environment. This weekend Fountain showcases exhibits and independent projects from 20 avant-garde galleries and artists based in New York and around the world.

This year we are also proud to have performances from Detroit electro band Adult, Brooklyn ’s Depreciation Guild (members of Pains of Being Pure at Heart), and celebrity guest DJ the legendary Marky Ramone from the Ramones.

Among several art projects and exhibits presented, Fountain in association with Christina Ray Gallery, is pleased to present Idea For the Here and Now, a group exhibition of limited edition prints to benefit Transformazium, an emerging collaborative arts center in Braddock, Pennsylvania. Artists include Cara Siik Benedetto, Jacob Ciocci, David Ellis, Espo, Emma Hedditch, Ayanah Moor, Jose Parla and Swoon. For the benefit, local and internationally-renowned artists have donated a short “Idea for the here and now”: doings, imaginings, practices and interactions geared toward the transformation of resources into tangible social and economic benefits for small communities and the world at large. The ideas have been collected and designed as limited edition, hand-pulled screen prints in the Braddock Screen Printing Shop. Each signed print is available at Fountain and remains sealed in an envelope until purchased.

Frying Pan
Pier 66, Hudson River, at 26th Street, Manhattan 7p-midnight; $10
Continues through SUNDAY
fountainexhibit.com

***** Also on FRIDAY *****

Emma

This is a story of an icon. There are locations in this city with a history and energy so powerful their story can galvanize a community. 142 11th Avenue, New York City, New York is the former site of the world's most infamous leather bar: The Eagle's Nest. From 1970 through March 5, 2000, the space held nights of passion, conflict, and controversy.

This Friday, 10 years to the day of the closing of the Eagle's Nest, you are invited to experience an art installation exploring the passing of phenomenon and the power of memory. "142 11th Ave, New York City, New York" is an installation of 88 pieces of etched glass, steel, and sound.

The art is big, the sound is expansive, the liquor is free. This project is presented by Ryan O'Connor of the Madagascar Institute, Taylor Kuffner / Zemi 17, and William Etundi Jr. of the Danger.

142 11th Avenue, at 21st Street, Manhattan 7p-midnight; $free
emma17.com

***** Also on FRIDAY *****

Underwater New York at Free Music Friday: An Evening of Shipwreck Stories and Songs

Underwater New York is a collaborative arts project that seeks to inspire creative engagement with the landscape submerged beneath the waters around New York City. There’s an evocative world down there, littered with objects ranging from the whimsical (a Formica dinette, hundreds of ice cream trucks, a runaway giraffe) to the historical (a Civil War prison, Coney Island Dreamland).

For Free Music Friday on March 5, we invite you to join us for an evening of stories and music inspired by shipwrecks, real and invented. Featuring original fiction by David Hollander, Claire Shefchik, and Sara Weiss, the shipwreck-themed song stylings of Lindsay Sullivan and the Sailors and Richard McGraw, and a performance by Aaron Diskin (Golem / Lycaon Pictus) of an original musical fragment by author Ben Greenman.

The Atrium at American Folk Art Museum
45 West 53rd Street, Manhattan
5:30–7:30p; $free
underwaternewyork.com

***** Also on FRIDAY *****

Rubulad Presents: Winter Is a Drag!

Gender-bending adventure for the amateur explorer. Live bands: Electric Junkyard Gamelan, Ching Chong Song, the Beets, with DJ Cody. DJs: Uproot Andy, DJ Shakey, Reagonomics, and the Vintage DJ.

In the Cabaret Room: G-Scopitronic’s Non-Stop Film Fest, Kagero, Shebang, with DJ Greything. Plus Go- Go and Performance by Goldie Peacock, Ricci Rehab Monroe, Dreams and Aspirations Vending Machine by Yung, Form Francoeur’s Light Circus Extraordinaire, food by Vicious Delicious. Dress: Razzle-Dazzle-Pizzazle us with your best drag!

You can help us continue to have a Rubulad in this space by being quiet coming and going, staying inside the space during the event and not pissing all over the sidewalk as soon as you get around the corner -- which, incidentally, does attract the police and they will write you a summons. The less our neighbors have to complain about, the more fun we can have.

Rubulad Home Base
338 Flushing Avenue, between Classon and Taaffee, Brooklyn B62 bus on Driggs to Flushing Avenue or G train to Classon station 10p doors, 11p show; $10 in drag, before 11p, or way late, $15 otherwise

***** Also on FRIDAY *****

Wonderneath

The Wonderneath is a new circus theater at the House of Yes. Set in turn-of-the-century New York City, the Wonderneath explores the otherworldly lair rumbling below the city's surface, where steam energy has seeped through granite and crystal, fractalized, and created a land where all that is wondered comes to be.

This triumphant tale explores the intersection of imagination and circus skills through aerial acrobatics, fire performance, puppetry, dance, and more, accompanied with live jazz and blues stylings by Tin Pan. Join Hailey, played by Kai Altair, as she discovers this magical realm and the many mysteries that lie below. A fantastical world nestled amongst the delight of color-spewing snapdragons, the mischief of pixie steam rats, and the power and grace of the high-flying Queen of the underbelly, the Wonderneath.

Written and produced by Ali Schmitz. Featuring dazzling performances by Claire de Luxe, Jordann Baker, Ali Luminescent, and Ellie Mio of Lady Circus; Ateles Aerial; Renata of Desert Sin and Alchemy Dance Theater; Ahnika Delerium and Bex Burton.

House of Yes
342 Maujer Street, Brooklyn
Continues SUNDAY and March 4-6
brownpapertickets.com/event/97218
8p doors, 9p show; $15 advance, $20 door houseofyes.org

***** Also on FRIDAY *****

First Frideay

A new monthly celebration of pollution-free transportation, creating fun, safer streets for human beings. A fun and inclusive group bicycle ride through the streets of New York City at a leisurely pace. Route to be determined by participants. Participants are encouraged to stay close together for increased safety. Courteous behavior towards pedestrians and other road-users also encouraged. Bring lights and bells. No bike needed but highly recommended. Skaters or joggers joyfully accepted. Come with your love and creativity to spaces usually dominated by motor vehicles by dressing up, bringing music or snacks to share. A real fun way to build real community. Typically participants share a post-ride meal at a delicious and affordable eatery, TBD.

Union Square North
17th Street and Broadway, Manhattan
7:00p;

XXXXX SATURDAY, MARCH 6 XXXXX

Brooklyn Wild Parrot Safari

What are wild parrots doing in Brooklyn? It's a long story. We'll inspect the Brooklyn Parrots' "Ellis Island." Their large nests around the soccer field represents the first major colony in Brooklyn. The site is easy to get to via public transportation. Allow some extra time, given that the MTA is doing lots of construction/train re-routing on weekends.

What to Bring/What to Wear Please bring a photo ID (this is required by Brooklyn College Security). Bring binoculars and a camera. We'll be exposed to outdoors so bring a hat/sunscreen if you have sensitive skin. Please feel free to wear anything except bright orange. For reasons that science has not yet explained, Monk Parrots freak out when you show them something orange.

Please e-mail me if you want to attend. Note: there is no rain date for this trip. I ordinarily do not cancel the tour unless the forecast is for sustained inclement weather in which birds will not fly.

Brooklyn College's Hillel Gate
Hillel Place and Campus Road, Brooklyn
11a-12:30p; $free, but bring good bird feed and other treats: finch food or millet RSVP: stevebrooklynparrots.com
brooklynparrots.com/2005/03/what-are-wild-parrots-doing-in.html

***** Also on SATURDAY *****

Audience presents:

Dub Shop at Kleio Projects

Dub Shop at Kleio Projects is a pop-up exhibition organized by ((audience)) co-curators Alexis Bhagat and Lauren Rosati. A dubplate is a one-off acetate disc recording which contains an unreleased recording, an exclusive version of an existing recording, or a test recording for a master track. Since they are doubled or dubbed versions of an original track, they have a limited life span and can only be played about 50 times. Dub Shop is similarly time-sensitive -- lasting only for two days -- and will feature exclusive, one-off and unique artworks by sound artists and musicians including dub plates; limited edition records, CDs and DVDs; silk screened posters; hand-made electronic instruments; and other constructions.

Works by Noah Angell, Alexis Bhagat, Ed Bear and Lea Bertucci, Simona Brinkmann, R. Luke Dubois, Nate Harrison, Harvestworks / Tellus Tapes, Richard Kostelanetz, Lary 7, LOUD5, Loud Objects, Cedric Maridet, Ken Montgomery, mudboy, Michael Northam, Ben Owen, Seasonal, thenumber46 (Suzanne Thorpe and Philip White).

From 2-6p each day, artists in the exhibition will host informal talks about their practice and play their exhibited works on in-house turntables.

Kleio Projects Gallery
153 1/2 Stanton Street, between Suffolk and Clinton Streets, Manhattan Noon-7p; $free
Continues through SUNDAY
au.dience.org
lrlx.wordpress.com

***** Also on SATURDAY *****

Worlds Fairs in 3-D

See the future ... again. World's Fair fans will not want to miss this event, as it is as close to being there as you can get.

The Fairs that will be featured (in full color!) include the following:

1939/40 New York World's Fair (28 scenes) 1939 San Francisco World's Fair (14 scenes) 1958 Brussels Worlds Fair (28 scenes)
1962 Seattle World's Fair (28 scenes)
1964/65 New York World's Fair (126 scenes) 1964/65 NYWF Aftermath, Ruins, etc. (30 scenes)

Over 250 views. The images are from Mr. Munn's extremely rare personal collection of 200 glass plate stereo photographs of the conflict. These 90 year old, emulsion-on-glass stereo plates were manufactured in France between 1914-1918 and present a graphic, uncompromising view of the brutality and devastation of the World's first "modern" war. The immersive effect provided by the 3-D projection combined with Mr. Munn's provocative live performance on the Theremin assures the audience a startling experience difficult to soon forget...!

Theatre 45 Bleecker
45 Bleecker Street, at the corner of Lafayette and Bleecker, Manhattan 8p; $15
45bleecker.com/?page_id=276
depthography.com/3dmonth.html

***** Also on SATURDAY *****

We Love the Golden Girls 3

The Victoria Party's third annual FTF drag tribute to the Golden Girls. With Best Episodes Screening, One-Hour Open Cheesecake Bar, and GG Drag Tribute Marathon.

Starring: Our Original Faux-Drag Golden Girl Troupe. Host: Linda Simpson. Plus Alexia Tate, Amber Martin, Dave End, Gayle "Barbara Streisand" Robbins, Harley Dear, Lady Clover Honey, Lavinina Co-op, Margoh! Channing, Miss "Juicy" Geraldine Visco, Raven Snook, Susie Q, Varsity Interpretive Dance Squard, Victor Victrola, the Venn Diagrams, Danny Digital's "Thank You For Being a Friend" Remix, and more.

Trivia and dress-up contests all night long. Best Dorothy, Best Rose, Best Blanche, Best Sophia! Win Joan Rivers tickets, a copy of the Q Guide to the Golden Girls, and more. Come dressed like it's 1985 Miami, or let us dress you. Sneak into our signature Style Station to transform into the granny inside you! How old will you go?

Stonewall Inn
53 Christopher Street, Manhattan
8p–4a; $10, $5 before 10p, $free after 12:30a welovethegoldengirlsgmail.com

***** Also on SATURDAY *****

Arts in Bushwick presents:

SITE Fest

A two-day interdisciplinary event highlighting the diversity of performance in Bushwick. Encompassing and blending a variety of forms including theater, dance, and music, SITE investigates our neighborhood as an unfolding collaborative performance enacted in urban space.

SITE focuses around three hub venues: Chez Bushwick, Grace Exhibition Space, and 3rd Ward. In addition to almost 60 performances in the hub spaces, over 30 performances will take place in a variety of alternative spaces: apartments, studios, street corners and galleries, including Norte Maar, Centotto, and Famous Accountants.

Check website for complete listings

Various locations
Bushwick, Brooklyn
1-9p; $5 suggested donation for all hub space shows, $10 day pass, $15 weekend pass Continues through SUNDAY
artsinbushwick.org

***** Also on SATURDAY *****

Uncle Monsterface and Friends

Uncle Monsterface: Sock puppet and dudes and monsters -- a giant mashed potato fights a vampire with a huge head. Plus Peelander-Z, Math the Band, Lima Research Society, and Eskalators.

Death By Audio
49 South 2nd Street, Williamsburg, Brooklyn 8p; $5
All ages

***** Also on SATURDAY *****

HyperGender Burlesque Presents:

Broads With Balls, HerStory Strips Back

Once upon a time in this great country of ours women were considered second class citizens, they could not own property, hold most jobs or vote. They were taught to be obedient to their fathers and husbands and were often punished for misbehaving. Yet, many of them rebelled, often at great risks. Many of them were leaders and warriors, thinkers and artists and many of them were hidden in the dungeons of history only to be unearthed in recent years by feminist scholars. In Broads With Balls HyperGender brings some these (in)famous ladies as burlesque meets women history month. Fear not, men will not be hurt as they join us in this raucous celebration of "fairer sex" and while no bras will be burned due to New York City fire laws, many will fly off to expose brave bosoms of bawdy burlesque broads!

Hosts: Award winning duo recently seen at Miss LEZ pageant, NYBF festival and more, JZ Bich and N. Guests: Dr. Lukki, the only burlesque PhD strips Lady Godiva, the twisted genius Deity, her contortionist beauty Lydia Love, Ms. Tina Cione in her HGB debut, her LOL sexiness Scout and the always inspiring video by Anti Social.

Wow Cafe Theater
59-61 E. 4th Street, 4th floor, between Bowery and 2nd Avenue, Manhattan 6 train to Astor Place station
10p; $10
hypergendergmail.com
hypergender.com

XXXXX SUNDAY, MARCH 7 XXXXX

The fourth annual:

Alt.Oscar Awards and Dance Party

Please join the Costume Cultural Society (the upscale persona of Kostume Kult ;) and many fabulous friends on NYC's most outrageous Red Carpet.

Featuring Oscar viewing in multiple rooms at this posh Greenwich Village club, the Infamous Alty Awards Ceremonies, an interactive red carpet where all are welcome, and a late night dance party with DJs spinning during the commercials and after the show. Listen to every word of the Hollywood Oscars in the lounge or participate in the Alt.Oscars event in the main room!

Dress: film character, pop culture icon, inspired eccentric, creative black tie or star-struck paparazzi. Alty Awards for Best Celebrity (delusions of grandeur and temper tantrums encouraged!), Best Costumes (from a recent film), Technical Direction (costumes with tech in them) and Lifetime Achievement (real or imagined). Alty Juniors for feats of brilliance and absurdity.

Talent: MC Christopher, L. Gabrielle Penabaz (the House of Saint Eve), DJ Douggie Style and you showing Hollywood how New York has twice the glamour and three times the fun.

Whereas Hollywood caters to Celebrity Culture, the Alties advocates Participatory Culture, where there are no VIP areas, where the velvet rope is open to anyone who makes an effort and where drinks and food are affordable to all. We enjoy the style of the Oscars and pay homage to all the actors and filmmakers but with our own New York City attitude! The Alties ran from 2006-2008, we took a break in 2009 to host an Inaugural Ball, and are now re-launching this event for the new decade.

Le Poisson Rouge
158 Bleecker Street, between Sullivan and Thompson streets, Manhattan 6p-2a; $15 presale, $20 door
18 and over
altyawards.com

***** Also on SUNDAY *****

Freddy’s Art Show Retrospective: Epilogue as Prologue

Art exhibit. Thirteen years of art in Freddy's Backroom: What is Gone is Not Forgotten. Freddy's Bar and backroom responds to New York State Supreme Court Justice Abraham Gerges ruling that will allow the condemnations to move forward on the building housing Freddy's Bar on Dean Street by holding an art retrospective of 13 Years of international as well as local Art exhibited in Freddy's backroom. (This will still give us months to continue the fight, we will never die.) From Painting to Video to the Museum of Drunken Art, this show will exhibit a wide variety of Fine Art from Freddy's finest artists. Proceeds will go the Hand Cuff Fund for the Chains of Justice that were installed into the physical Bar at Freddy's on December 20, 2009.

Artists: Katie Welty, Margot Spindelman, Steve Pauley, Nancy Drew, Lisanne McTernan, Donald O’Finn, Steve DeSeve, Dirk Richarson, Dan Sagarin, Peter Teraberry, David Strome, Andy Friedman, Haynes Atkins, and Tim Harrod.

Freddy's Bar
485 Dean Street, at 6th Avenue, Brooklyn 6p; $free
718 622 7035
donaldofinn.com/

***** Also on SUNDAY *****

Gemini and Scorpio and Sxip Shirey present:

Jank!

A surreal live-music-driven dance party. Dirty electronics and live musicians (horns, drums, human beat box), regurgitating old genres like early ska, early hip-hop, techno and house and playing it raw, glitchy and original. With: experimental circus composer Sxip Shirey, controllerism glitch rocker Moldover, eclectic beats wizard DJ Shakey. Janky visuals by Sebastian Patane Masuelli.

House of Yes
342 Maujer, at Morgan, Brooklyn
7p doors, 8p-2a sliding scale; $10-15
geminiandscorpio.com/events.html

***** Also on SUNDAY *****

Church of Craft

Today I looked down at the yarn I was knitting, and I thought to myself, "I love yarn. It just feels good." And right now I need things in my life that feel really good. Winter is cold, school is hard, expectations are thwarted, and I sometimes feel battered and bruised by it all. What I need is the warm balm of materials in my hands becoming something new, creating something that wasn't there before. Nothing quite compares to the effect this creation has on my crumpled self-esteem. How powerful is that? And how much more powerful to be witnesses to each other's healing and growth? Come this Sunday to see feel this power with your own fingers!

It is true, the sewing machines have been fixed! The labs come equipped with your basics: scissors, tape, pens, thread, but I encourage you to bring supplies that you want to work with in addition to what is there.

Etsy is all about encouraging people to make stuff, just like us, so we get to have this special event craft-on every month, where access to all of their goodies is totally free. If you like it there you can go back and craft Monday evenings.

Etsy Labs!
55 Washington Street, Suite 512, DUMBO, Brooklyn 2-6p; $free
spacecraftbrooklyn.com/

***** Also on SUNDAY *****

Bavarian Oskar Party (Schuhplattler)

With Leiterhosen, Bratwurst, German Chocolate Cake. What could be better? Read below for full description.

Pete’s Candy Store
709 Lorimer Street, Williamsburg, Brooklyn 7p; $free
youtube.com/watch?v=q6EzPkqt2Rk

***** Also on SUNDAY *****

Haiti Benefit

Six live performances as well as a silent art auction featuring over 10 different artists, and special guest speakers. All funds will be managed by the Haitian Community Development Project, a Haitian-founded and Haitian-managed not for profit 501(c)(3) organization that wisely channels its donations directly to Haitian beneficiaries of such projects as water filtration in schools. In this case, on advisement of the HCDP, funds will be dedicated to the Cine Institute in Jacmel, Haiti, the Arts capital, of Haiti, with the idea of establishing a long-term relationship between the CSV Center and the multidisciplinary youth and artists of the Institute and of Jacmel. PS. We know it is Oscar night! We will be showing the Oscars on a big screen TV.

Clemente Soto Velez
107 Suffolk Street, Manhattan
time?; $10 suggested donation

XXXXX MONDAY, MARCH 8 XXXXX

Open City Dialogue: Pigeon Life

An investigation in to a filthy bird slum, with Jamie Hook. Lorimer Street between Messerole and Calyer is home to a bona-fide pigeon slum. Filthy birds congregate there in curious density, forsaking adjacent inviting areas to crowd in a building-side favela of avian vice and depravity. Most mysteriously, they are supported in their wayward lifestyle by some unseen neighborhood abettor, who reliably find the most fetid offal form the local garbage bins to sustain (or poison?) these flying rodents: rotten vegetables, maggoty meat, and moldy bread are just a few of the regular leavings that join the lice-encrusted feathers and fecal whitewash littering the sidewalk. Who is the filthy enabler, and why do they do it? Why does the Rite Aid not stop them? What is the neighborhood consensus on this menace? Join Jamie Hook for a hard-hitting power-point investigation. As March 8 is the presenter’s birthday, refreshments will be served.

Pete’s Candy Store
709 Lorimer Street, Williamsburg, Brooklyn 7:30p; $free

***** Also on MONDAY *****

Benefit for Ray's Candy Store

Come to an old fashioned rent party. Ray must stay. New York City powers-that-be (Giuliani, Bloomberg and the real estate speculators) want to persuade us that being a consumer is the same thing as being a citizen. We're not supposed to notice the difference. But if we are consumers of the skyrocketing markets for buildings and land, then we sacrifice our neighborhoods, and we shrug our shoulders and let Ray's Candy Store die.

For many of us in this community, Ray has been a north star of kindness from our childhoods. Mean-spirited landlords and harassment by the many city inspectors won't discourage the neighborhood that Ray has sustained for so long. The East Village will do whatever it takes to defend Ray's dignity. We love him and we will protect him.

With Reverend Billy and the Life After Shopping Gospel Choir, the East River String Band, the Bill Murray Experience, DJ Didi of the Brazilian Girls, Blind Boy Paxton, and many more.

Theater for the New City
155 First Avenue, Manhattan
7:30p; $5-15 sliding scale

XXXXX TUESDAY, MARCH 9 XXXXX

The Secret Science Club presents:

A Mind-Blowing Night

Neuroscientists Joseph LeDoux and Daniela Schiller lecture on fear, memory, and the brain. Then they jam with their heavy mental band, the Amygdaloids.

Bell House
149 7th Street, between 2nd and 3rd avenues, Brooklyn 7:30p doors, 8p show; $free
21 and over
secretscienceclubgmail.com
secretscienceclub.blogspot.com

XXXXX WEDNESDAY, MARCH 10 XXXXX

Dj Shakey and !Include present:

Warper Four Year Anniversary Blowout

Live Music from 17 electronic music performers. Projected Images, workshops, and interactive art too.

Knitting Factory
361 Metropolitan Avenue, Williamsburg, Brooklyn 8p sharp-2a; $free
347 529 6696
bk.knittingfactory.com/

XXXXX THURSDAY, MARCH 11 XXXXX

The creators of cult New Zealand feature film Woodenhead present:

Bestial Vertigo: Peep Show

An evening of new and rare video works by New Zealand artists Teresa Peters and Florian Habicht.

Florian Habicht is most known for NZ feature film Woodenhead. A Grimm musical fairytale, which has been celebrated for its unique construction. Inspired by a dream featuring Milli Vanilli angels, the entire sound-track was recorded before the images, and the visual shot to fit (and not fit) afterwards.

Teresa Peters is a visual artist based in drawing and video. She often entwines epic drawings and quirky video to explore the potentiality in the wild side our nature, at once the seed of creation and destruction. Oceans of hair or the charade of decapitated Victorian school girls reflect the paradox of societal limits. Teresa was art director, lead actress and graphic designer for Woodenhead.

P.P.O.W gallery
511 West 25th Street, room 301, at 10th Avenue, Manhattan 7-9p; $free
woodenhead.co.nz/
ppowgallery.com

XXXXX UPCOMING XXXXX

• MadHatter Tea Party, March 13

XXXXX ONGOING XXXXX

Nonsense is too long. The great thing about the internet is that it doesn't really cost much to run long listings and exhaustive descriptions. It turns out that's ... exhausting. After several complaints and a little deliberation, we're trying a new format: On the first Friday of the month we will run updated ongoing listings in each section: events, learning, and help. Other weeks we're going for leaner, meaner sections. If you're desperate for something to do on an off-Tuesday night we suggest you either look back a few issues ago in your inbox, or poke through our online archives, which you can find under the subscribe page.

Also, a note about better rock shows. Nonsense does not straight list rock shows in New York unless they occur in tandem with puppet shows or jump rope tournaments or in subway tunnels or in graveyards. For listings of good shows, especially shows that feature independent bands at quality venues like Death by Audio and those booked by hard-working promoters like Todd P or Sleep When Dead, consult resources like ohmyrockness.com, brooklynvegan.com/, sleepwhendeadnyc.com/calendar/, or the lively New York Happenings listserve on Yahoo groups launch.groups.yahoo.com/group/nyhappenings/. For the most exhaustive list of underground shows at unusual venues, track down a copy of the extremely useful -- and handsome -- Showpaper.

XXXXX WISHLIST XXXXX

What have you been wishing for? Collaborators, grant monies, a new home? Please send brief listings to Alita at alitanonsensenyc.com. We only list available apartments, lofts, studios, and one-off rentals -- not spaces wanted.

***** ARTY STUFF *****

• The Overturn Theater Ensemble is looking for a party venue to host a very fun, very spicy demolition party on April 3, 2010 from 8p-1a. Demolition meaning, our guests (approximately 200) are allowed to break/paint things. If you’ve got a large empty space, we’ll bring in things to break/paint. If you’ve got a space with lots of stuff to break, we’ll do it and clean up. The idea is to have a controlled environment (we won’t be focusing on people breaking things the whole time, but the end for ten minutes, everyone can). The focus is going to be on the sweet musicians we bring in, dancing and getting a large community directly involved in the theater (by getting them all into the play). This is all in prep for our spring play which takes place at a demolition party in Bushwick as an homage to our lovely community. So, we want to throw an actual demolition party, film it, and use our footage (with consent) for our multi-media theater extravaganza. Contact Diana, asso ciationsofhip(at)gmail.com.

***** SPACES *****

• Lucky Gallery is looking for artists to take residence at the gallery space in Red Hook. The studio includes all amenities, 24-hour access, show opportunities at Lucky and exposure through Lucky Gallery web site and other marketing initiatives. Please email laura(at)luckygallery.com for more details or visit luckygallery.com,
• Room Available in two person Loft in Bushwick/East Williamsburg at Morgan L. Share with European PhD student -- amateur cook, photographer and news junkie. Room has own window. Common area and kitchen still need to be furnished - I just moved in myself. Space has great potential. The goal is to make it super chill and relaxed. I am building a kick-ass kitchen right now. Further, I plan to have a comfy sofa and movie-projector lofted area. Ask me for photos and more details. Rent is $905 plus utilities. Three months needed to move in. Contact Aron at 646 301 2488 or ethan.tate(at)gmail.com.
• Share large two-bedroom with one part-time roommate, available immediately. Three-month sublet with possibility for extension. $975 (includes all utilities, internet). This is a large (900 square feet) sunny apartment in Prospect Heights, just a few blocks from Grand Army Plaza, 2, 3, B and Q subway lines. The bedroom in question is furnished, but I would be happy to store that furniture if someone had their own they wanted to use. I am a mature male, adjunct NYU professor, filmmaker-activist, living in the city approximately three days/week, sometimes four. When I am in the city I am generally over-busy, hardly home. There is a cat that lives in the apartment full time, and would need feeding, etc. on the days that I am away. The layout of the apartment is ideal for this kind of arrangement. I am open to a long-term arrangement, but initially would want a trial period of three months to see how things work out. Rent stated is inclusive of all bills. Contact Mark at mr105@n yu.edu, and tell him something about yourself.

XXXXX SPECTRE PRIORITY XXXXX

Before we had a name, the Spectre Event Horizon Group used to meet at a bar to commiserate and trade what our business friends like to call best practices. The group has expanded since then, but it remains focused on smartening the crowd mind. There are no subject limits; our favorite is the incredible sci-fi present, or anything that goes toward a better understanding of human behavior and our universe's ecology. Our simple intent is to connect good minds with as much quality mind-blowing information as we can freely locate and create a space for the informal trade of specialized investigative research, presented for the non-specialist.

The Spectre email list, which is a separate group from this column, is a moderated open forum. People are encouraged to join and to post. The list is compiled for Nonsense by J. Sinopoli. Contact us at spectre.event.horizon.group gmail com or spectregroup.org. Here's some of what came in this week:

***** Did You Feel That? *****

http://spectregroup.wordpress.com/2010/03/05/did-you-feel-that

Quakes Shift Earth's Axis
jpl.nasa.gov/news/news.cfm?release=2010-071 bloomberg.com/apps/news?pid=20601124&sid=aLAUn4Gy92ss "The earthquake that killed more than 700 people in Chile on February 27 probably shifted the Earth's axis and shortened the day, a NASA scientist has said. Earthquakes can involve shifting hundreds of kilometers of rock by several meters, changing the distribution of mass on the planet. This affects the Earth's rotation, said Richard Gross, a geophysicist at NASA's Jet Propulsion Laboratory in Pasadena, California, who uses a computer model to calculate the effects. "The length of the day should have gotten shorter by 1.26 microseconds (millionths of a second)," Gross said. "It's what we call the ice-skater effect," said David Kerridge, head of Earth hazards and systems at the British Geological Survey. "As the ice skater's going around in a circle, and she pulls her arms in, she gets faster and faster. It's the same idea with the Earth going around if you change the distribution of mass, the rotation rate changes." The magnitude 9.1 Sumatran in 2004 that generated an Indian Ocean tsunami shortened the day by 6.8 microseconds and shifted the axis by about 2.3 milliarcseconds, Gross has said."

Meanwhile : North Magnetic Pole Is Shifting Rapidly Toward Russia news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2005/12/1215_051215_north_pole.html "New research shows the pole moving at rapid clip -- 25 miles (40 kilometers) a year. Over the past century the pole has moved 685 miles (1,100 kilometers) from Arctic Canada toward Siberia, says Joe Stoner, a paleomagnetist at Oregon State. At its current rate the pole could move to Siberia within the next half-century. "It's moving really fast," he said. "We're seeing something that hasn't happened for at least 500 years." The shift is likely a normal oscillation of the Earth's magnetic field, Stoner said, and not the beginning of a flip-flop of the north and south magnetic poles, a phenomenon that last occurred 780,000 years ago. Such reversals have taken place 400 times in the last 330 million years, according to magnetic clues sealed in rocks around the world. Each reversal takes a thousand years or more to complete. "People like to think something special is happening in their lifetimes, but despite the dramatic changes, I don't see any evidence of it," Stoner said. "It 's probably just a normal wandering of the pole." The north magnetic pole shifts constantly, in loops up to 80 kilometers (50 miles) wide each day. The recorded location of the pole is really an average of its daily treks, which are driven by fluctuations in solar radiation. The pole is currently at about 80 degrees north latitude and 104 degrees west longitude, in the Canadian territory of Nunavut."

Core Flux
news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2009/12/091224-north-pole-magnetic-russia-earth-core.html "The magnetic north pole moved little from the time scientists first located it in 1831. Then in 1904, the pole began shifting northeastward at a steady pace of about 9 miles (15 kilometers) a year. In 1989 it sped up again, and in 2007 scientists confirmed that the pole is now galloping toward Siberia at 34 to 37 miles (55 to 60 kilometers) a year. A rapidly shifting magnetic pole means that magnetic-field maps need to be updated more often to allow compass users to make the crucial adjustment from magnetic north to true North. Geologists think Earth has a magnetic field because the core is made up of a solid iron center surrounded by rapidly spinning liquid metal. This creates a "dynamo" that drives our magnetic field. Scientists had long suspected that, since the molten core is constantly moving, changes in its magnetism might be affecting the surface location of magnetic north. Nobody knows when another change in the core might pop up elsewhere, sending magnetic north wan dering in a new direction."

Earth's Inconstant Magnetic Field
science.nasa.gov/headlines/Y2003/29dec_magneticfield.htm "Every few years, scientist Larry Newitt of the Geological Survey of Canada goes hunting. He grabs his gloves, parka, a fancy compass, hops on a plane and flies out over the Canadian arctic. Not much stirs among the scattered islands and sea ice, but Newitt's prey is there -- always moving, shifting, elusive. His quarry is Earth's north magnetic pole. Keeping track of the north magnetic pole is Newitt's job. "We usually go out and check its location once every few years," he says. "We'll have to make more trips now that it is moving so quickly." Earth's magnetic field is changing in other ways, too: Compass needles in Africa, for instance, are drifting about 1 degree per decade. And globally the magnetic field has weakened 10 percent since the 19th century. They've also learned what happens during a magnetic flip. Reversals take a few thousand years to complete, and during that time -- contrary to popular belief -- the magnetic field does not vanish. "It just gets more compli cated," says Glatzmaier. Magnetic lines of force near Earth's surface become twisted and tangled, and magnetic poles pop up in unaccustomed places. A south magnetic pole might emerge over Africa, for instance, or a north pole over Tahiti. Weird. But it's still a planetary magnetic field, and it still protects us from space radiation and solar storms. And, as a bonus, Tahiti could be a great place to see the Northern Lights ..."

XXXXX LEARNING XXXXX

We look for the sort of classes you circled in college course catalogs but never managed to fit into your schedule. And we also look for the kind of things that no college could teach. Cheap and eclectic is the rule, though all rules get broken occasionally, and we especially love workshops, round-tables, and teachers who won't take your work out of your hands and show you how to do it right. One-time listings are categorized, with general recurring classes at the end. We thrive on your suggestions, so make sure to tell us about upcoming classes that you think are nifty-keen.

Learning is compiled and edited weekly by Libby Sentz. Send listings, announcements, and corrections to her at libby(at)nonsensenyc.com.

***** LEARNING: FRIDAY *****

Contra Dance

Country Dance New York has been hosting English and Contra dances in Greenwich Village for more than 30 years, and now they are bringing Contra dance to Brooklyn. The dance is for adults, both experienced and new. New dancers can come at 7p for a beginners workshop. As always, it will have live music and a caller to teach the dances.

PS 295
330 18th Street, Brooklyn
7-8p adult beginners workshop, 8-11p dance party; $? cdny.org
facebook.com/event.php?eid=311148758415

***** LEARNING: FRIDAY and SATURDAY *****

40 Free Dance, Cooking, and Art Classes

The Fourth Annual African American Cultural Expo, which started Thursday, continues with two more days of free African dance, cooking, arts and crafts workshops, and more.

NYC Mission Society Beacon Center
215 West 114th Street, Manhattan
Class times vary; $free
groups.yahoo.com/group/AfricanDance_NYC/attachments/folder/300028965/item/325706461/view 212 674 3500

***** LEARNING: SATURDAY *****

The Art of Money: Personal Finance Resources for Artists

This free NYC Department of Cultural Affairs seminar will include free finance workshops and counseling to help artists address their financial needs. Participants will learn how to access and use credit, reduce existing debt, and plan for the highs and low of irregular income. They can also sign up for a free, confidential, one-on-one consultation with a financial counselor who can help manage credit and debt and provide strategic referrals to other public and private resources; learn all about tax services and refunds; and meet reps from organizations that support creative work. Consultations will be available in both English and Spanish. Crafts for kids will be on hand.

Dwyer Cultural Center
123rd Street at St. Nicholas Avenue, Harlem Noon-5p; $free
nyc.gov/artofmoney
cscott(at)culture.nyc.gov

***** LEARNING: Also on SATURDAY *****

MIG Welding

The class that made Madagascar Institute famous. Impress your friends, your older brother, and that cute bartender with your tough new skill. This three-hour introductory welding class will teach you the very basics of MIG welding and familiarize you with the tools you’ll need to finish a project–the grinder, the chop saw, etc. Bring leather gloves and eye protection, and wear heavy-duty all natural fibers–in other words, jeans, a long sleeve shirt, and boots if you have them. No open-toed shoes. Polyester and nylon will melt onto your skin if hot molten metal drops onto them and that hurts. A lot. You will get dirty and cold.

Madagascar Institute
217 Butler Street, Brooklyn
1-4p; $30 members, $60 nonmembers
classes(at)madagascarinstitute.com
Pre-register: madagascarinstitute.com/classes

***** LEARNING: Also on SATURDAY *****

Move Your Feet to Rebuild the Streets

Support Haiti by joining in this Congolese and Guinean dance class, taught by Coreen Eto'o Robledo, Alexis Pennerman, and Rohiatou Siby. Class will be followed by a reception with a rhyme cipher where you can share your poems, bars, and songs in the name of love, life, and support of Haiti. Proceeds go to Churches Helping Churches, an organization specifically designed to put money in the hands of Haitian pastors to help them continue meeting the needs of the hurting and destitute on a grassroots level. These men are serving the wounded, though many of them have lost their own wives, children, and homes.

Mark Morris Dance Studio
3 Lafayette Avenue, Brooklyn
noon-2:30p dance classes; 2:30-3:30p reception; $20 markmorrisdancegroup.org
646-258-2554

***** LEARNING: Also on SATURDAY *****

Raw Fibers: The Art of Fabric

This five-session workshop will work out the historical, economic, scientific, social, and mathematical properties that are inherent in the use of fabric and its production; all through hands-on art-making. Sessions will include the spinning of raw fibers, weaving, printing on fabrics, and batiking.

Materials for the Arts
33-00 Northern Boulevard, third floor, Long Island City, Queens Five Saturdays, 9:30a-4:30p; $225
mfta.org/education_workshop_schedule.html

***** LEARNING: Also on SATURDAY *****

Open House at Uproar Art

Uproar Art is a brand-new art organization offering innovative, socially conscious visual arts classes for kids and teens. Drop by and enjoy free art-making activities sampled from the new class line-up,including Crafts Across Cultures, Recycled Art, Comics and Storytelling, Organic Sculpture. Also on hand will be free refreshments, class information, and in-person registration. Dress for messiness.

Uproar Art at Spacecraft
355 Bedford Avenue, Williamsburg, Brooklyn 1-3p; $free
646 353 3207
uproarart.org

***** LEARNING: SATURDAY and SUNDAY *****

Stone Lithography Intensive

This workshop will give you a jumpstart on the basics of stone lithography. You will have the opportunity to draw on this amazing and unique surface and learn how to print an edition of single color prints. Perfect for the printmaker who wants to learn this traditional method of lithography in one short session. Each student will have a stone to draw on. Includes 24 hours of free studio time good for 4 weeks.

The Elizabeth Foundation for the Arts
323 West 39th Street, third floor, Manhattan 10:30a-4:30p; $240 members, $280 nonmembers 646 416 6226
rbpmw(at)efanyc.org
efanyc.org

***** LEARNING: SUNDAY *****

Jewelry From Potatoes

This Jewelry From the Underground class shows you how to make fabulous beads from potatoes. Solanum tuberosum is naturally durable and resilient and an ideal medium for creating botanical jewels. Transform an ordinary spud into beads for stringing jewelry that makes a statement. The course covers preparation, basic construction, tools, and materials to design and create a stylish, unique necklace and/or bracelet. Led by Margarita Poulson.

Brooklyn Botanic Garden
1000 Washington Avenue, Brooklyn
Noon-3p; $47 member, $52 nonmember
718 623 7220
bbg.org

***** LEARNING: TUESDAY *****

Wood and Metal Type Posters

Create classic looking broadsides with our wood & metal foundry type in the tradition of musical posters, poetry, and art prints. You will learn how to print on our Vandercook press and will play with various hand printing techniques on and off press, creating colorful, painterly prints. Experiment with handmade papers, collage, and overprinting on existing images. Each student will create a series of prints or small edition broadside. A class print exchange is encouraged for a unique portfolio of prints. Led by Mindy Belloff

Studio on the Square
32 Union Square East, Studio 310, Manhattan Three Tuesdays, 6-9:30p; $180 plus $20 materials 917 412 4134
intimapress.com

***** LEARNING: Also on TUESDAY *****

Make Games

Pull those bottle tops out of the recycling bin and start making game pieces. From speed scrabble to matching games you will find the pieces you need in the most surprising places. Participants will create their own game and game board using a variety of odd shaped manipulatives and unusual pieces found at the MFTA warehouse or around your home or classroom. Learn how to make developmentally appropriate games for all ages while developing literacy and critical thinking.

Materials for the Arts
33-00 Northern Boulevard, third floor, Long Island City, Queens 5-7:30p; $16
mfta.org/education_workshop_schedule.html

***** LEARNING: UPCOMING *****

• Knot Tying at Madagascar Institute. Friday, March 12. 7-9p. classes(at)madagascarinstitute.com. madagascarinstitute.com
• Lap Dance with Catherine D'Lish and Jo Weldon at 167 Orchard Street. Gals only; boundaries will be violated. Friday, March 12. 7-9p.

***** LEARNING: ONGOING *****
NOTE: The Ongoing section of LEARNING now runs only on the first Friday of each month. Mark all classes of interest in your calendar.

BODY

• African dance with Ismael of Broadway's "Fela!" at Mark Morris. Brooklyn. Mondays in March 6-7:30p (beginning) and 7:30-9p (mixed level). $14. ismaelkouyate.com
• Free African dance classes with Sandella at Booker T. Washington Middle School gym. Manhattan. Fridays 6:30-8p. $free. 212-942-3566. (Class airs Wednesdays 2p on Time Warner Channel 56.)
• Tao Yoga and Tsa Lung (The Shamanic Yoga of Zhang Zhung) led by Lama Ji at Surreal Estate. Brooklyn. Tao Yoga Saturdays at 10a; Tsa Lung Tuesdays at 5:30p. $donation. surrealestatenyc(at)gmail.com
• Bujinkan Budo Taijutsu at Triskelion Arts. Brooklyn. Training is centered on jissen gata combat fighting. Membership is selective, but you may attend the first class free. Saturdays 5-7p, Sundays 2–4p. triskelionarts.org/events.htm#classesoffered
• Afro-Haitian dance with Julio Jean at Ripley-Grier Studios. Manhattan. Saturdays 6-7:30. $10. jeanjulio(at)gmail.com
• Flirting With Burlesque at the School of Burlesque. Manhattan. Thursdays 7-8p. $15. schoolofburlesque.com
• Tribal Fusion bellydance class with Fayzah at Battery Dance Studios. Manhattan. Tuesdays 5:30-7p. $20. dancespiral.com or fayzahfire(at)gmail.com
• Contemporary dance, hip-hop, belly dance, and much more at Bedford Stuyvesant Restoration Corporation. Brooklyn. Various days and times. $12. 718-636-696
• Congolese dance with Funmilayo at Resurgent Fitness, Brooklyn, Wednesdays 6:30-8p; at Boy's Harbor Conservatory, Manhattan, Thursdays 7:30-9p; and at Alvin Ailey Extension, Manhattan, Sundays 4:30-6p. $varies. fushadance(at)aol.com or krosebud14(at)hotmail.com
• Open company class with Perceptions Contemporary Dance Company, intermediate/advanced. Brooklyn. Thursdays 5-6:15p. $12. RSVP at perceptionsdance.com.
• Balkan folk dance at the Hungarian House. Manhattan. Wednesdays 6:30-8p; $12. nycfolkdance.org
• Introduction to House Dance with Linda La Naija at Black River Dance. Harlem. Fridays 6-7:30p; $14. blackriverdance.com
• The Art of the Samurai Sword with Raab Rashi at The Workman’s Circle/NYR Studios. Manhattan. Thursdays 6-7p; $free intro lesson, $15 beyond. swordclass.blogspot.com
• Capoeira, a Brazilian martial art and dance, with Capoeira Angola Quintal. Manhattan. Various days; $15. afrobrazilarts.org/newyorkcapoeira/index.htm
• Parkour workshops. Manhattan. Sundays 4p; $15+. nyparkour.com
• Aerial classes (silks, trapeze, lyra, pole dance, ballet) at the Sky Box at House of Yes. Brooklyn. Monday through Saturday; $15. theskybox.org/classes
• Aerial yoga. Manhattan and Williamsburg. Various days; $20. aerialyoga.com
• Group tightwire walking, foot-juggling, and more at Trapeze Loft. Williamsburg. Sundays 5-6p; $25. thetrapezeloft.com
• Trampoline at Streb Lab for Action Mechanics. Brooklyn. Mondays, Tuesdays, Thursdays 7-8:30p; $25. streb.org/V2/school/adults.html
• Co-ed nonsexual naked yoga. Manhattan. Various days; $?. groups.yahoo.com/group/coyoga/

BRAIN

• Free open craft/hack nights at NYC Resistor. Brooklyn. Thursdays 6-9p; $free. nycresistor.com/2008/11/22/open-craft-hack-nights-on-thursdays/
• Free math studies at the School of Mathematics, which cultivates a natural, stress-free environment where everyone can explore, study, and discover mathematics. Prior knowledge is not assumed. Brooklyn. Various days; $free. thewe.net/math
• Writing with constraints at the Writhings Society. Practice writing with arbitrary, sometimes mathematical, rules invented by the French group Oulipo and others; no experience necessary. Brooklyn. Wednesdays 6:30-8:30p; $5+. proteusgowanus.com
• Study Hall (a workplace for writers and thinkers) at Proteus Gowanus. Brooklyn. Mondays through Fridays, 10a-5p. $50 a month, includes free WiFi, free coffee, and free home-baked bread. proteusgowanus.com

HANDS

• Assorted artstar classes at the Madagascar Institute! Brooklyn. Various times; great prices. madagascarinstitute.com
• Free casual ladies bike repair workshop at Velo Brooklyn. Bushwick. Saturdays 4-6p; $free. marin.tockman(at)gmail.com
• Free Craft-On (fun with yarn, thread, and more) with Church of Craft. Brooklyn. Various days; $free. churchofcraft.org/2008/10/01/welcome-nyc-crafters/
• Free bicycle repair classes at Time's Up! Manhattan and Brooklyn. Various days. $free. times-up.org/index.php?page=bike-co-op
• Free home-improvement classes, from tiling to drywall repair, at Home Depot stores. Saturdays and Sundays; $free. homeimproverclub.com/workshops.aspx?Type=3
• The Fixers Collective is a social experiment in improvisational fixing and mending. Participants bring their broken objects and put them on a large, common fixing table and share ideas and techniques for repairing, mending, enhancing, or repurposing the objects. Brooklyn. Thursdays 6-9p; $5. proteusgowanus.com/main/fixers-collective
• Figure drawing at Brooklyn Artists Gym. Mondays 6:30-9:30p and Saturdays 12-3p; $8+. brooklynartistsgym.com/events.html#workshops
• Guinean Rhythms drum class with Ibrahima Kolipe Camara at Chelsea Studios. Please bring a drum. Manhattan. Fridays, 6:30-7:30p. $15. kolipe81(at)yahoo.com; 646-897-2293
• Beading classes at Brooklyn Bead Box. Various days; $varies. brooklynbeadbox.com/classes.html
• Classes in the needle arts at Brooklyn General Store. Various days; $varies. brooklyngeneral.com/shop/classes/
• Knitting and spinning classes at the Yarn Tree. Various days; $varies. theyarntree.com/studio/classes/
• Mosaic workshops. Manhattan. Wednesdays 1-4p and 6-9p; $100 for four-class workshop. newyorkartworld.com/things/things-mosaic.html
• Wheel and handbuilding classes at La Mano Pottery. Manhattan. Various days; $300 for eight-week class. lamanopottery.com
• Studio Sundays: Intergenerational Programs at Museum of Arts & Design. Manhattan. Sundays 2-4p. $10 (includes admission and materials) 212-956-3535.madmuseum.org
• Females-only African drum class at Oduduwa Cultural Arts Center. Jamaica, Queens. Sundays 11a-noon. $10. balletintlafricans.com
• Guinean Rhythms drum class with Ibrahima Kolipe Camara at Chelsea Studios. Manhattan. Fridays 6:30-7:30p; $15. kolipe81(at)yahoo.com

GRAB BAG

• 3rd Ward offers multi- and interdisciplinary courses in visual art, technology, and fabrication. Various days; $varies. 3rdward.com/classes
• Gearilla!, a street theater workshop (on bikes). Various locations. Tuesdays 2p; $10+. monicahunken.com/classes.html
• Creative arts classes at Spoke the Hub. Brooklyn. Various days; $varies. spokethehub.org
• First aid for cats and dogs. Manhattan. Saturdays 10-2p; $65 (if purchased online). nyredcross.org/viewclass.php/prmCID/32/month/08/year/2009

XXXXX HELP XXXXX

It is a wonderful thing, to help. Helping strengthens communities and allows you to meet new friends. With that in mind, we look for one-day volunteer opportunities with no long-term commitment required. We want to be open to fresh ideas and think of help in a broad way. These listings could include anything from a large-scale day-long service project to a local theatre company that needs volunteers for load-in; from an artist looking for film extras to a community garden that needs a few extra hands. Our goal is simply to help groups or individuals that serve the greater good in small but significant ways. Unique and interesting job opportunities are acceptable fare for this section as well. Looking for ways to help out? Need volunteers to get your own community project off the ground? Know of any existing opportunities? Send your requests to Rob Voigt at robpastyvoigt(at)gmail.com.

XXXXX HELP XXXXX

It is a wonderful thing, to help. Helping strengthens communities and allows you to meet new friends. With that in mind, we look for one-day volunteer opportunities with no long-term commitment required. We want to be open to fresh ideas and think of help in a broad way. These listings could include anything from a large-scale day-long service project to a local theatre company that needs volunteers for load-in; from an artist looking for film extras to a community garden that needs a few extra hands. Our goal is simply to help groups or individuals that serve the greater good in small but significant ways. Unique and interesting job opportunities are acceptable fare for this section as well. Looking for ways to help out? Need volunteers to get your own community project off the ground? Know of any existing opportunities? Send your requests to Rob Voigt at robpastyvoigt(at)gmail.com.

***** HELP: SATURDAY *****

State of the Art

Sponsored by WNYC, CityArts, and City Limits, NYC:State Of The Art is NYC's first-ever art industry conference, and we're inviting you to come participate. With a focus on the challenges facing NYC's artists, the not-for-profit NYC:SOTA conference will bring together art industry movers and shakers, and you. Learn about the most innovative initiatives and resources NYC has to offer visual artists. Help preserve New York City as a global art capital and a city that not only sells art, but fosters its creation.

We need volunteers for three positions. Volunteer A will deal with front lobby general ticket check-in, volunteer B will usher attendees to their seating and ensure that press and panelists reach their areas, and volunteer C will work the information booth distributing conference information. To volunteer please e-mail your name, photo, contact information, and relevant professional or volunteer experience.

333 West 23rd Street, Manhattan
8:30a-5:30p
nycstateoftheart.com
contact(at)nycstateoftheart.com
347 455 8878

***** HELP: also SATURDAY ******

Hudson River Pageant Puppet Workshop

Join us at Earth Celebrations Puppet & Costume Workshops, helping teens & adults create the spectacular costumes, masks, and giant puppets for the Hudson River Pageant, inspired by the diverse marine species of the Hudson River. Workshops culminate in Earth Celebrations' Hudson River Pageant. The pageant is a magnificent creation of art, performance and community engagement to honor and restore the Hudson and address climate change.

World Financial Center, Courtyard Gallery 200 Vesey Street, Manhattan
12-4p
Earthcelebrations.com
bit.ly/9rO4bf

***** HELP: THURSDAY *****

NYC Comedy Show

Videographer and helpers needed. This event is hosted by comedian Billy Kammerer, a born and raised NYC comedian who has struggled with trichotillomania for 26 years. Billy uses comedy as a means to spread the word about trich and help those who have it. All proceeds will benefit the Trichotillomania Learning Center. HelpMe2Stop.org's Alex Pratt will interview Trichsters for our upcoming vlog for HelpMe2Stop.tv. We need anyone who can shoot great film and editing, and assorted helpers as well. We want to do interviews and news.

New York Comedy Club, 241 E 24th Street, Manhattan 9p
Alex(at)HelpMe2Stop.org

***** HELP: SOON *****

Suspension Journalism

I'm a student at Columbia University Graduate School of Journalism writing an article on body suspension. Right now I'm in the research phase of my article, but I'm looking at the ritualistic and extreme relaxation benefits of suspension. Although I am talking to a few suspension artists who do it for performance, I'm in touch with ROP's (Rites of Passage Suspension Group) Cere, whose group focuses more on the ritualistic and coming-of-age passages than just the shock value. I'm also talking to some psychology professors at Universities who look at suspension and its benefits/disadvantages.

While this article is for a class, I intend to pitch it out when it is done. My professor, who was a former editor for GQ is pushing for me to publish in The Village Voice or Rolling Stone, but nothing is set in stone. I don't want people to just think that they are working with me for a class because there is a significant chance this will be published. For that reason, I can't use anonymous people; however, if you’re interested in sharing your story or thoughts, please contact me.

Michelle Castillo
Castillo.mish(at)gmail.com

***** HELP: UPCOMING ******

• March 13. The GLAAD Media Awards recognize and honor media for their fair, accurate and inclusive representations of the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender community and the issues that affect their lives. Each year, hundreds of guests, celebrities and volunteers take part in a glamorous and meaningful night for the LGBT community. If you would like to volunteer at this event, please see below for volunteer opportunities and how to sign up. We need people for Friday, March 12th for Gift Bag Stuffing (6-10p) and Saturday, March 13th with shifts ALL day (ranging from set-up, guest check-in, guest security/traffic, silent auction, closing, etc.) To volunteer, please sign up at www.glaad.org/volunteers and click "Become a Volunteer". Once you are signed up as a GLAAD volunteer, you will gain access to your personal log in page where you can sign up for any shift on the 12th and 13th. Please email Jackie Olson (Director of Volunteer Management) at olson(at)glaad.org if you h ave questions about this volunteering opportunity and/or would like to see the volunteer shift opportunities.
• March 13. Every month Children of the City gathers children to host a "Super Saturday" community event for two groupings of children, ages toddler-7, and ages 8-14. Two simultaneous sessions are held once a month on Saturday, with the total number of children served per month depending on the event runs from 250-400 with a 50/50 split in age groups. We welcome up to 10-12 volunteers for each age group per session, max 25 volunteers total. No skill sets required other than being able to have fun, engage the children, and be attentive to directions. It’s a full day, from 9a-4p as it takes time to setup the facility, go out by bus and pickup children and walk them in, and then do the session from 12-2p and then dismiss, bring them home, and clean-up. bit.ly/cRfUvA
• March 18. The Nature Conservancy's New York Office is looking for volunteers for our annual Young Professionals Gala on Thursday, March 18 at the Prince George Ballroom. We anticipate having upwards of 400 people at the event this year and looking for extra hands to help with check-in, coat check, monitoring the silent auction tables, distributing gift bags and managing crowd flow. The Young Professionals Gala is always a blast, both for attendees and volunteers. As a thank you for donating time, we invite volunteers to join the Young Professionals Group Members and Board at Marquee Night Club in Chelsea for the exclusive after party. Volunteers must be 21+. Please contact Nicole D'Andrea at ndandrea(at)tnc.org with why you are interested in volunteering. Also include if you have any experience as a waiter or with coach check. Thank you.
• March 19-21. Go Green Expo New York. Go Green Expo is a forum for increasing awareness of our environmental challenges, providing businesses the opportunity to showcase green products and services, enabling non-profit organizations to educate the public and business owners. Through its interactive platform, Go Green Expo shall help forward the goal of a cleaner and healthier environment, one city at a time. It takes place from March 19-21, 9a-6p, at Pier 92 in Manhattan, 12th Avenue and West 55th Street. Contact Nancy Mathew at NMathew(at)GoGreenExpo.com or call 212 655 4505 ext 225. gogreenexpo.com.

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allegory | thought

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ruins | things