From: "Jeff Stark" <jstark@nonsensenyc.com>
Subject: nonsensenyc: 2.12 to 2.18
Date: February 12th 2010

Friday, February 12
* Rubulad Sweets for the Sweet, Brooklyn * Freegan Bike Workshop benefit, Manhattan * Happy Birthday VendrTV, Williamsburg
* TV Show, Brooklyn
* Dumpster of Love, Brooklyn
* Loft Party, Brooklyn
* Nerd Nite, Brooklyn
* One Night Stand, Brooklyn
* Night People, Brooklyn
* Death Bear, Brooklyn
* Sex Crimes Double Feature, Brooklyn

Saturday, February 13
* Sweethearts Showcase, Williamsburg
* Beautiful and Damned, Long Island City * Hipsters and Hassids, Manhattan
* Mardi Gras North, Queens
* Valentines With Robots, Manhattan
* Greenpoint Food Market, Brooklyn
* Supper Club, Manhattan
* Clappy Go Go Go, Long Island City
* Love Lane Valentine's Ride, Manhattan * Get Hammered, Get Fixed Up, Brooklyn
* Cabaret Luxe, Manhattan
* Cheryl, Brooklyn
* Secrets de Coquettes, Manhattan
* Baggage Claim, Brooklyn

Sunday, February 14
* The Vault of Golden Vapors, Brooklyn * Dreamscape 03, Manhattan
* Sunrise Valentine
* Official Unsound Festival New York Closing Party at Kiss and Tell Queen of Hearts, Williamsburg * The Vampire Ball, Manhattan
* UnMarriage Until GayMarriage: A Valentine's Ritual for Gay Marriage, Manhattan

Monday, February 15
* Ladies and Gentlemen, the Fabulous Sarah Jacobson, Wiliamsburg

Tuesday, February 16
* Mardi Gras Celebration
* Minding and Light Dreams 7, Manhattan

Wednesday, February 17
* Chaos Cooking Part III, Brooklyn
* Bailout Theater, Manhattan

Thursday, February 18
* Fire Sale: NYC Firefighter Date Auction, Williamsburg * Popol Vuhlva, BabySkinGlove, and Mega Calderos, Williamsburg

Wishlist
* Haggadah

Spectre
* And Never Die

Learning
* Leathering

Help
* Chelsea Symphony

NOTE: For some navigation help, or an explanation for what this is all about, scroll all the way down to NONSENSE. You'll find snarky editorial comments and little bits of praise littered throughout this list. These nuggets are marked with all caps, like this: NOTE. Also, we make a lot of mistakes, especially with dates; you should always double check our work. And you can donate to this project at nonsensenyc.com/special.

XXXXX COVER ART XXXXX

Geese swimming with an inch of snow on their backs.

XXXXX FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 12 XXXXX

Rubulad presents:

Sweets for the Sweet: A Valentine’s Confection

Bands: Rock and roll burlesque featuring Viva Power Trio, Clams Casino with MC Sir Loin of Becca, Lady Rizzo and the Assettes, Vic Thrill, and Vockah Redu (NOLA Sissy Bounce).

DJs: $mall ¢hange, Ursula 1000, Barney Iller, Joro-Boro, Dirty Fingers, Greything. On the Cabaret Stage: Jessica Delfino, Shanimal, Kit-Kat Burlesque (featuring members of the Drunkard’s Wife), Dr. Dolomite -and Stevhen Iancu.

Plus: Yogi Avatar’s Piercing Eye Photo Booth with Little Miss Angie and Confetti Cannon. Dreams and Aspirations vending machine curated by Yung. Modern Dance Awareness Society. Light Circus Extraordinaire of Norm Francoeur. Food by Vicious Delicious. Dress: good enough to eat.

You can help us continue to have a Rubulad in this space by being quiet coming and going, staying inside the space during the event and not pissing all over the sidewalk as soon as you get around the corner – which, incidentally, does attract the police and they will write you a summons. The less our neighbors have to complain about, the more fun we can have.

Rubulad Home Base
338 Flushing Avenue, between Classon and Taaffee, Brooklyhn B62 bus , or G train to Classon station 10p doors, 11p show; $10 beans in costume, before 11p or way late, $15 otherwise

***** Also on FRIDAY *****

Freegan Bike Workshop benefit

We are thrilled to announce that I.C.U., from Boogie Down Productions (and KRS-One's brother), will be celebrating his birthday at Surreal Estate NYC. I.C.U. basically lives on his bike, and wants the proceeds go to the Freegan Bike Workshop.

Get ready for a real star studded night! Special guests will be coming we couldn't even put on the flier due to the overwhelming throngs of loyal fans they would draw.

Dance all night and feel great knowing you're helping the FBW get back on its feet again. There will great bands, DJs, emcees, b-boys and b-girls from theGround Zero Crew, and live graffiti organized by Brooklyn graffiti shop 100B, all on three separate floors.

Surreal Estate is Brooklyn's largest and most diverse communal house as well as a three floor events space that has raised funds for many NYC non-profits in its founding year. The Freegan Bike Workshop is a free, all-volunteer run community bicycle shop that teaches children and adults to fix and build their own bicycles.

Surreal Estate NYC
15 Thames Street, Brooklyn
L train to Morgan station
10p; $15 suggested donation

***** Also on FRIDAY *****

Happy Birthday VendrTV

VendrTV, a web video series about the nation's best street food, will be celebrating one year of street eating with a night of dancing, drinking, street meat.

Party starts at 7 with street eating courtesy of Schnitzel and Things, Calexico Carne Asada, and Wafles and Dinges. Drinks provided by the Brooklyn Brewery. The dancing commences at 9 with video mashups of food porn and Prince by Eclectic Method.

The Cove
108 North 6th Street, Williamsburg, Brooklyn 7-11p; $15 includes dinner and a beer, then music. 21 and over
vendr.tv/party

***** Also on FRIDAY *****

TV Show

Four short plays, one video, and some personal reflections on the subject of television by Iris Rose. TV Show is not family-friendly.

The plays: Sloth, a young woman stops going to work and devotes herself to watching television. Originally performed in 1988, as part of Watchface's show on the Seven Deadly Sins. This revival features the original 1988 audio and Camila Jones in the role that Iris created.

The Dare, four bored teens check out what's on the internet. Lily DePaula, Jake Deter, Camila Jones and Coulee Slatnick surf the back alleys of the web.

Watching the Detectives, Iris Rose plays a woman who just wants to watch the last 10 minutes of her favorite hour-long police procedural, but real life keeps trying to prevent her.

Love Crimes, couple obsessed with couple-on-the-run movies hits the road. Amber (Alison Brasky) and Frank (Jake Deter) follow in the celluloid footsteps of Bonnie and Clyde, natural-born killers Mickey and Mallory, and gun-crazy Laurie and Bart.

The video: Boys TV, plus Iris' thoughts on: I Am a TV Addict (Parts One and Two); The Four Greatest Moments in the History of Television; The Two Worst Moments in the History of Television; Why June Cleaver Wears Pearls When She Vacuums.

Silent Barn
915 Wycoff Avenue, Brooklyn
L train to the Halsey Street station
8p; $10-20
Continues THURSDAY through SUNDAY, through February 21 cricketbway.net

***** Also on FRIDAY *****

Dumpster of Love

Come out and celebrate with the bloodiest art collective in NYC. The Blood Dumpster, a NYC-based art collective, celebrates another year of art, beauty and mayhem with a pre-Valentine's bash in Brooklyn. The event, entitled Dumpster of Love, will bring together the creative class for an all-night raffle and more creativity then may be legal in most states. The party is part art show that will feature many members from the collective's wide range of visual magicians. Expect artwork on display from Melissa Dowell, Rebecca Memoli, Jeff Moore, Aubrey Roemer, Nate Bear, Laura Galbraith, Vincent True, Tim Kellen, Katelan Foisy and many more.

The Blood Dumpster is bringing along a few artists of the musical persuasion for this one. Funk House DJs Jason Orrell and Tobeytech start the night off right, leading up to Rhinostrich's 8-bit inspired melodies, then on to Epileptic Peat, a bad ass 8-string bassist armed with an artillery of pedals, the band Skullbuggery, a sea shanty styled child of the Reverend Billy choir, and Belltone Suicide, a Massachusetts noise artist. Not to mention, an appearance of Memo the Clown. Arrive early for free swag and to scoop up some raffle tickets, the prizes get only get better as the night goes on.

TBD
224 Franklin Street, Greenpoint, Brooklyn G train to Greenpoint station
9p; $free?

***** Also on FRIDAY *****

Loft Party

It's our annual pre-Valentine's day cosmic love party at the Newsonic Loft. We have a great night in store, with live music from Comandante Zero, Discovery, Circuit Cult, Ladybug Stingray, Dinsosaur Bones, and the Junction. DJs Seth Misterka (Dynasty Electric) and Casey Block (Eat Records) will be spinning music to get you moving and VJ Suit Machine will be providing other-worldly projections and liquid light for your pleasure. Free vegetarian dinner to start the evening at 9p. Dancing and good times til 4:20a. Look for the peace sign.

Newsonic Loft
76 Rutledge Street., Brooklyn
9p; $5

***** Also on FRIDAY *****

Nerd Nite

Since Quizo trivia in mid-January was so popular (32 teams), we’re gonna give it another whirl in February. So come on down for another Nerd Nite Quizo and then stick around for regular Nerd Nite with a line-up boasting presentations about video games that intentionally mess with their players’ minds, NYC Big Quiz Thing luminary Noah Tarnow reminiscing about our most forgotten vice presidents, and the tactics used by the government in their psychic experiments as part of a larger project, Stargate.

Lectures: Witness: A Psychic Collaboration and our Government, by Nate Larson and Marni Shindelman; Hail to the Obscure: Forgotten Vice Presidents of the United States, by Noah Tarnow; Psychological Warfare through Online Games 2: Video Games that Intentionally F*ck with their Players, by Ben Donaldson.

Galapagos Art Space
16 Main Street, Brooklyn
F train to York Street station
7p Quizo, 8:15p Nerd Nite: $13 for Quizo (includes admission to regular Nerd Nite), $10 Nerd Nite only nerdnite.com
smarttix.com/show.aspx?EID=&showCode=NER52

***** Also on FRIDAY *****

One Night Stand

Join us for a debaucherous night of dirty dancing and sweet surprises, as we team up with Royal Pink. Come dressed to titillate and explore the House of Yes' intimate corners and lofty dance floor. Bring your love or lover(s) as we invite you all to a One Night Stand.

With the musical stylings of Bmore club pioneer Scottie B, Godfather, DJ Dirtyfingerz with special live performances by sultry siren Maggie Horn and New Orleans own Vockah Redu bring you that sissy bounce. Kissing booth, live gogo dancers, photo booth, and much more.

House of Yes
342 Maujer Street, between Waterbury and Morgan, Brooklyn L train to Grand Street station
10p doors, free vodka 10-11; $10 before midnight, $15 after tinyurl.com/onenightinbk

***** Also on FRIDAY *****

Night People

Another late night of synaesthetic dazzlement with Body Actualized Control. Cosmic disco and elektroid vibes provided by Jonny Sender, Dan Selzer, Jeremy Campbell, and Body Actualized DJs. Special vizual projections by Don Miller/No-Carrier. Probiotic and mulled mixers, powdered dancefloor, surprises, the fog, the glow, your love?

Market Hotel
1142 Myrtle, Brooklyn
11p; $?
bodyactualizedcontrolgmail.com

***** Also on FRIDAY *****

Death Bear

We all have someone or something we would rather just forget. Things fall apart. Love hurts. Dreams die. But when you summon Death Bear to your door, you can rest assured that help has come. At first you may be intimidated by his stature and color (7 feet tall with a hard, black bear head, black jumpsuit, and black boots), but absorbing the memories of others is a dark art, and Death Bear must present himself appropriately for this solemn duty. Death Bear will take things from you that trigger painful memories and stow them away in his cave where they will remain forever allowing you to move on with your life. Give him an ex's clothes, old photos, mementos, letters, etc. Death Bear is here to assist you in your time of tragedy, heartbreak, and loss. Let Death Bear help you, and absorb your pain into his cave.

Text for an appointment in Brooklyn
$free
Continues SATURDAY and SUNDAY
347 742 2293
clubanimalsnyc.blogspot.com

***** Also on FRIDAY *****

Sex Crimes Double Feature

The one-hour show plus performance-packed after-party. Sex Crimes Cabaret is a rock-n-roll cinematic theatre show. Are you a sex criminal? You probably are. Sex Crimes Cabaret takes you on a sonic and visual adventure based on amazing but true sexual legislation past and present. Her extensive research into taboos has evolved into a theatrical evening of anatomically correct facts and figures, weird little films, songs and dances.

The naughty after-party offers more performances from downtown luminaries like Darlinda Just Darlinda, Tigger! and many more. VJ sets and the DJ spins spins explicitly sex-themed glam, punk and other danceable rock-n-roll.

Galapagos Art Space
16 Main Street, Brooklyn
10p doors, 10:30p show; $10-15
smarttix.com/show.aspx?showcode=SEX19

XXXXX SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 13 XXXXX

Sweethearts Showcase

A female singer-songwriter benefit for Showpaper. Music by Phoebe Kreutz, Supercute, Rebecca Schiffman, Frances Rose, and Bigger Princess. Sweet treats by Famous Original Rachel.

Your contribution will help further Showpaper's mission of establishing a network of emerging young artists and musicians throughout the Tri-State area. Funds raised from this event will be used to print the paper, which features a full color print by an emerging artist and comprehensively lists more than 300 all ages music events in every biweekly issue.

Vaudville Park
26 Bushwick Avenue, at Devoe Street, Williamsburg, Brooklyn L train to Graham station
G train to Metropolitan station
7p; $7-25 sliding scale
all ages
vaudvillepark.com/
showpaper.org

***** Also on SATURDAY *****

Hush Hush Gang Presents:

Beautiful and Damned

A Valentine's event inspired by the art, music and spirit of the roaring 20s. Piping hot 20s jazz brought to you by the Cangelosi Cards, hotsy totsy flapper numbers from the Jazz Babies, robber baron cocktails, performances inspired by the legendary film Metropolis. Strict 'Put'n On the Ritz' dress code.

Exile
38-62 11th Street, between 38th and 40th avenues, Long Island City, Queens 9:30p-2a; $20 advance, $25 door includes one fizzy drink 21 and over
youtube.com/watch?v=Rh2GfCNDiSg&feature=youtube_gdata hushhushgang.blogspot.com

***** Also on SATURDAY *****

NYR Studios presents:

Hipsters and Hassids

A one-night exhibition and gallery party featuring a new painting series by Elke Reva Sudin. This event is open to the public, and gallery visitors will enjoy live performances, celebrity guests, and surprises throughout the evening.

Hipsters and Hassids celebrates two diverse cultural groups who maintain an uneasy coexistence in the creatively charged neighborhood of Williamsburg, Brooklyn.

Sudin paints portraits and urban landscapes to reflect the similarities these groups have despite their conflicting values and lifestyles. Sudin is an observant Jew and young artist who was rigorously schooled in traditional illustration techniques and creates paintings that are influenced by emerging trends in graphic novels, graffiti and the street art of Brooklyn.

The venue will be arranged with a gallery exhibition on one end, and a performance stage on the other. Artists and other performers will mingle in with the crowd, play music, and create the vibe of a Brooklyn street party. Substantial refreshments will be served. On stage a line-up of indie bands will play as the gallery evening evolves into an after-party.

Workman's Circle Building
45 East 33rd Street, between Park and Madison avenues, Manhattan 8p-2a; $donation
elkerevagmail.com
hipstersandhassids.wordpress.com

***** Also on SATURDAY *****

Mardi Gras North

Reconstruct Art, a nonprofit that trains disenfranchised teens in creative art, will be hosting a sexy, arty, funky fundraising party. We give teens the tools to overcome the obstacles of poverty, discrimination, and emotional deprivation and to turn their talent into success. The event's proceeds will fund our upcoming projects in New Orleans and Romania.

Expect an overwhelming mishmash of creativity and authentic Mardi Gras jams, live jazz, affordable art, burlesque, body painting, graffiti painting, a Cajun buffet (jambalaya, barbecue, and vegetarian options), cheap drinks, fancy beer, VooDoo anti-fashion, craft stations, beads, masks, video, and more. Come in a freakout get-up or costume for free gourmet cupcakes by Sugarmama.

Wonderland Collective
38-01 23rd Avenue, at 38th Street, Astoria, Queens 7p-midnight; $10
myspace.com/reconstructart

***** Also on SATURDAY *****

Valentines With Robots

A presentation by Laura G. Duncan. From computer-interfaced sex toys to sperm-inspired nanobots, our sexual lives are filled with elements out of yesteryear’s speculative fiction. Technology and sexuality have always been inextricably linked, so come out for a witty and wild multimedia presentation by Laura G. Duncan about high tech sex, including examples from science fiction, the medical sciences and DIY sexual robotics. And yes, we have spare electrical receptacles if your date requires a recharge.

Bluestockings Bookstore
172 Allen Street, between Stanton and Rivington streets, Manhattan 7p; $5 suggested donation
bluestockings.com

***** Also on SATURDAY *****

Greenpoint Food Market

A Valentines Day extravaganza of sorts, a celebration of all that is nauseating and lovey dovey, highlighting the holiday with a cascade of heart pins, heart on strings, red-tinted everything and a kissing photo booth.

The day will feature a cascade of lovely treats: from aphrodisiac inspired recipes to heart shaped cookies, a photo kissing booth courtesy fellow Greenpointers Color Me Katie and Hyla Skopitz, a secret foodmirer bulletin board to share your food crushes and indulgences, and a heart-hunt: find the heart, win a GFM goodie bag. We are also very pleased to present music by DJ Jimmy T and a performance by Rifle Recoil. We are also grateful to add to a growing list of food-related artworks by artists Jessie Oleson and Jesse Kuhn who will share a few prints on food and love.

Church of Messiah
129 Russell Street, Brooklyn
Noon-5p; $free
646 696 0154
greenpointfoodmarket.wordpress.com/

***** Also on SATURDAY *****

Supper Club

A fashion and burlesque extravaganza. The NonaVarnado.com - Performance Couture debut during Fashion Week is gonna be amazing. Join me for a Dinner Party enjoying Pantry Lab Catering; Sponsors Vodka, Lingerie, Toys, and the Stumble Bum Brass Band. Nona Varnado -- performance couture and Devin Cole’s DJC Existence accessories line will be modeled and available for purchase as burlesque dancers and models wander through the crowd.

It’s your all your best fashion friends, gorgeous ladies, soul inspiring music and decadent food and drink. Plus, if you buy tickets in advance it’s only $20, or $30 at the door. Come check out the debut Nona Varnado -Performance Couture collection to ogle, purchase, custom order or try. Before getting ridiculous with the stumblebum's and all the lovelies.

394 Broadway, fifth floor, Manhattan
7p-midnight; $20 advance, $30 door
brownpapertickets.com search: supper club

***** Also on SATURDAY *****

Clappy Go Go Go

A band and dance extravaganza in our newly acquired former meat processing and smoking factory.

Musical appearances by Arm Wrestling, Devin KKenny, and Maso. Hosted by the Space. MCd by Jacolby Satterwhite, featuring DJ Blow J Simpson and DJ EJ, performances by special guest stars, with art installations and video art.

Smokehouse
46-01 5th Street, at 46th Avenue, Long Island City, Queens 7 train to Vernon/Jackson station
9p-midnight; $5, or dress like a food item and get in for free licspace.org/

***** Also on SATURDAY *****

Love Lane Valentine's Ride

Because nothin' says lovin' like ridin' a bicycle in the winter. Real love doesn't come in a box of chocolates, a diamond ring, or a Hallmark Card. Real love is riding your bicycle through the rain, sleet, and snow. Real love is clean, sustainable transportation that's always there when you need it. Real love is dancing and riding your ass off to keep warm in the snow. Real love is good safe bike lanes.

We'll be riding and dancing with our lovesick soundtrack, handing out Valentine's sweets to pedestrians, visiting Ray's on Ave. A to give some love to this beloved NYC spot that might get pushed out, and then end with the sweetest cup of hot cocoa.

Meet at Washington Square Park, under the Arch, Manhattan noon; $free

***** Also on SATURDAY *****

Get Hammered, Get Fixed Up

This Saturday, join the Fixers collective for an old fashioned party, featuring, PBR, taking apart useless electronic equipment and putting it back together again, PBR, musical guests: Lame Drivers, Ambergris, Adam Blander, Isaac Gillespie, Eight Belles, Too Big To Fail, followed by DJ Still Life, fixed items auction, the Breakers Collective (Please Bring a Hammer if You're Interested in Joining), dancing (dancing), and Fixed Up, and a new Fixers service for singles (inaugurated on Valentines Day Eve) in which all of your broken little hearts will be patched and welded and reinforced with the choice bits of broken hearts we've got lying around the shop.

123 8th Street, at 3rd Avenue, Brooklyn 9p; $10 all proceeds go to pay for Fixers Collective's Rent

***** Also on Saturday *****

Cabaret Luxe

This Valentine’s Eve, forget about those saccharine cards and candies and embrace the more sordid side of love. Emerging from the dark corners of New York City’s underground, Cabaret Luxe brings to the stage acts of sinister hedonism inspired by the nightclubs of Weimar Berlin, the advent of American punk, Dada, decadence and art born from the liberating free fall of economic uncertainty. Featuring the eclectic sounds of Amour Obscur and Dorothy Darker’s carnal sideshow of burlesque performers, Cabaret Luxe immerses you in a world of ferocious beauty and vintage vice. Cabaret Luxe is produced by Dee Dee Vega and Dorothy Darker.

Parkside Lounge
317 East Houston Street, Manhattan
midnight-4a; $10

***** Also on SATURDAY *****

Cheryl (the dance party that will ruin your life) presents:

Cherylympix

Cheryl invites you to curl your hair, hurl your disco balls, and streamline your body with an ergonomic, aerodynamic padded flesh tone luge suit. Fall face down on the skeleton track and thrust your body through hyperspace in .00000238 seconds in the direction of the Bell House for the largest compulsive compulsory competitive Life exhibition on this side of GoGo.

Join us on Brooklyn's only regulation Olympic-sized dance floor at the Bell House to experience the ecstasy of victory. Cherylympix events commence with the traditional mannequin-hand torch running, opening ceremony with 1,000 tiny native GoGo children, and the annual Kozy Shack eating championships. Additional events include inappropriate javelin thrusts, breath holdings, and the face smashing playoffs. Unemployed Lloyd, DJ Owlpuffs, and DJ Social Justice spin an eclectic, high energy, face melting dance mix all night long.

The Bell House
149 7th Street, between 2nd and 3rd avenue, Brooklyn 11p-4a; $5 cover
vimeo.com/cherylvideos

***** Also on SATURDAY *****

Secrets de Coquettes

Dances of Vice jazz age Valentines eve cruise. Find yourself dancing the night away with winking beauties clad in flirtatious vintage dishabille on a romantic three-hour luxury cruise along the East River aboard the Jewel, featuring songs of love and lust by Shanghai Mermaid impresario Juliette Campbell, hot jazz and swing from the 1920-40s by Baby Soda Jazz Band, saucy burlesque by Valentine Vixen Gal Friday, and a titillating fashion show featuring vintage pinup inspired designs by Renee Masoomian and vintage lingerie of the 1910s, 20s, 30s and 40s.

Aboard the Jewel (Marco Polo Cruises)
Boarding at East 23rd Street and FDR, Manhattan 9p; $26 advance, $30 boarding
All ages

***** Also on SATURDAY *****

Baggage Claim

Celebrate Valentine’s Day a day early with the Brooklyn Artists Gym (BAG). The first installment of our swap meet series will focus on theme of romantic commerce in a 1,400 square foot gallery and event space. Help us build a temporary museum with the evidence of love gone by. Bring your souvenirs; mix tapes, hoodies, love letters, crappy jewelry and all those gifts he/she bought you that proved he/she never really knew you. Exchange the relics of relationships past, gain some closure and walk away emancipated. Although this swap meet is themed, everyone is welcome. Whether you’ve already moved on or aren’t quite ready bring something to swap.

Additionally, Baggage Claim will feature the culinary handiwork of Goodie BAG Baking. Delicious treats will be on sale to satiate your discerning palette. Coinciding with the swap meet and bake sale will be the opening of Me and You and You and Me a group show featuring the work of Rylee Eterginoso and the collaborative efforts of feistberger.

Rylee Eterginoso will exhibit her ongoing conceptual and participatory work the Breakup Project. The artist asks participants to examine the relationships they have with other people, objects, habits, etc., which are ultimately toxic and then, in an act of catharsis to break up with them via letter. Selected submissions will be on view as well as a letter writing station.

Feistberger presents U|S, the story of a relationship told through material evidence. Erica Freyberger and Patrick Feist archive the evidence of their unfinished relationship resulting in an installation of hundreds of scraps, keepsakes and souvenirs.

Brooklyn Artists Gym
168 7th Street, Brooklyn
6-8p; $3 door
brooklynartistsgym.com.

XXXXX SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 14 XXXXX

Gemini and Scorpio present:

The Vault of Golden Vapors

Our eighth annual Get Off ... Line B-Day Bash. On Chinese Moon Year's Eve, a dreamful night in an opium den of our making: a private 2,000 square foot Brooklyn loft completely redecorated just for this night. Recline in languid repose and drift in the pleasures of intimate performance, golden-throated singers, tales told in glistening flesh, and exotic cocktails. Full event tickets include catered dim sum dinner and dessert.

Featuring live vintage Chinese jazz by Shien Lee of Shanghai Triad and Dances of Vice, Chinese ballads by talented young composer Natti Vogel, Asian-inspired burlesque by Dame Cuchifrita and GrandmaFun, and your opium den madam the Flying Fox. Late-night ethno-lounge grooves by DJ Nightshade. Love tarot readings by Marcy Currier. Decadent body painting by 2nd Skin. Custom mural by Molly Crabapple. And of course cocktails by the House Of St Eve (yes, those drinks).

This party is also the offical launch of the newly redecorated Brooklyn Urban Sanctuary 2000 square foot loft that is now our home. Even if you've seen it before, you've never seen it like this. Dress code: Asian opulence, sexy lounge, crimson and gold, trailing sleeves and dress trains, colorful kimonos, printed silks.

Brooklyn Urban Sanctuary loft
RSVP for address, Brooklyn
7p-2a, 7p for dim sum dinner; $40 at 7p includes dinner, $20 at 9p, $10 at 11p 21 and over
geminiandscorpio.com/events.html

***** Also on SUNDAY *****

Dreamscape 03

An ambient night with experimental electronic music and improvised instruments. Live glitch video projections, installation art, and performances.

With Grains of Sound (ambient electronic), Motmot (improvised experimental soundscapes), Jack Kubizne (live glitch projections), installation art by Nicholas Hall, Kelly Sturhahn, Katja Loher, and performances by Lonely Christopher, Michael DiPietro, and Kristin Reger. Hosted by Redpanda Village.

The Suffolk (old school/theatre building) 107 Suffolk, at Rivington, Manhatttan
8-11p; suggested donations
katjaloher.com

***** Also on SUNDAY *****

Be Wild Woman presents:

Sunrise Valentine

Sunrise Valentine is a non-political, non religious, heartwarming, silly, love celebration for kids of all ages. Looking for creative people, performers, actors, artists to help create this loving valentine. Lets transform this day into a fun joyful loving .

Dress up in an outfit or costume that exemplefies love to you. i.e. cupid, venus, aphrodite, heart, etc. Bring some valentines. You can buy or make them yourself. bring Valentines with positive loving messages.

First we gather just before sunrise. Watch the stars. Then take in the beauty of the sunrise. As the rays spill over the horizon, I will guide us on a sunrise heartmeditation filling your heart with love & burning away heartache and pain. We will then send love out to our loved ones, across the globe, and to Haiti (bring hot drinks -- hot chocolate, coffee, cider -- and breakfast treats to share).

We'll have a Valentine-making station in case you still need to make some or decorate yours. We'll also have a donation box for Hearts with Haiti to raise money to help St Josephs Home for Boys.

Second we will walk across the bridge into the city and spread the love by Valentining people! Bring your metro card. We will be making a few stops. We do this by smiling, handing them a card and wishing them a happy valentines day and continuing. Besides being a great way to cheer up other peoples day it feels great. I've been doing it for the past few years and its incredible. Sunrise Valentine started as my art project at Burning Man & I've always dreamed of having a big group of people get together to Valentine NYC.

Brooklyn Bridge, in the middle
6:15a, $free (if you're not in NYC then wherever you see the sunrise near you) alison.b.levygmail.com

NOTE: Not ironic, far as we can tell.

***** Also on SUNDAY ******

Official Unsound Festival New York Closing Party at Kiss and Tell Queen of Hearts

Kiss and Tell, a monthly party at Rose Live Music in Williamsburg, Brooklyn, has been producing unique theme based events for over four years. Each month Kiss and Tell invites well known electronic music DJs eager to play a different kind of set, filled with music outside of the genres they are known for. For the Official Closing Party of Unsound Festival, the ladies of Kiss and Tell will be hosting a decadent Valentines Day party. Rose Live Music, a gorgeous venue with red velvet drapes and floral wallpaper, will be decorated in a sea of hearts and playing cards. This classic aesthetic is an homage to the Queen of Hearts, a wild character (based on Queen Victoria) from Lewis Carroll's Alice's Adventures in Wonderland.

Mike Servito, one of the most beloved Kiss and Tell DJs, has been invited to play his favorite records. Hailing from Detroit, and represented by Ghostly International, Servito has mastered the art of mixing the most eclectic dance music genres together without missing a beat. For this celebratory event guests are invited to dress up in festive outfits of red, black, and white, like kings and queens, or in stripes and hearts. And don't forget to look your best for the kissing photo booth.

Come help us close Unsound Festival New York with a warm, intimate, and undoubtedly entertaining event. Be prepared for an unforgettable night of dining, dancing and decadence. Sensuous scarlet cocktails and pasta specials will be available all night.

Rose Bar
345 Grand Street, between Marcy and Havemeyer, Williamsburg, Brooklyn 8p-4a; $free, $5 for pasta, two for one beer and wine, $5 rum and coke sdphotography.net/kisstell/flyers/feb10.html

***** Also on SUNDAY *****

Father Sebastiaan of Sabretooth's FangShop presents:

The Vampire Ball

A unique event which is a mix of Venetian masquerade ball and vampire theme event that brings a mixture of steampunk, historical events, and rock and roll. A variety of DJs spinning electro to classics will be presented along with belly dancers, escape artists, live music and of course hosted by Empress Chi Chi Valenti of Mother and Jackie Factory Fame.

Element nightclub
225 East Houston Street, Manhattan
10p-4a; $15 advance, $20 door with dress code, $30 without sabretooth.net/newyorkvampireball

***** Also on SUNDAY *****

UnMarriage Until GayMarriage: A Valentine's Ritual for Gay Marriage

What: Straight, married supporters of gay marriage will un-marry in a mass ritual at New York City's Bethesda Angel this Valentine's Day in response to NO votes on the issue in the New York and New Jersey legislatures, ongoing conservative pressure around the country, and the ongoing trial seeking to overturn California's Proposition 8.

The mass ritual will be administered by Reverend Billy, an officiant of the rites of marriage in the City of New York. Organizers hope to send a strong message to elected officials in NY, NJ and the rest of the country: gay marriage is not just an issue for gay people, it is an important issue for everyone who cares about civil rights and human dignity.

The massive unwedding, in the style of Reverend Moon's mass weddings, will be accompanied by music and love songs and a choral anthem called I Do, I Do.

Bethesda Angel
Central Park, 72nd Street, entrance in center of park, Manhattan 1p; $free
savitridearthlink.net

XXXXX MONDAY, FEBRUARY 15 XXXXX

Ladies and Gentlemen, the Fabulous Sarah Jacobson

An evening to honor DIY filmmaker Sarah Jacobson, and a benefit for the Sarah Jacobson Film Grant. Filmmakers, punk rockers, feminists, and musicians gather to remember filmmaker Sarah Jacobson (1970–2004). The evening will include an appearance from Sarah’s mother Ruth Jacobson, and her sister Lee Jacobson.

Sarah Jacobson (1971–2004) was a filmmaker who wrote, produced, and directed several movies in the 1990s, including Mary Jane’s Not a Virgin Any More and I Was a Teenage Serial Killer. Sarah’s films reflected her punk sensibilities, her feminist beliefs, and her dedication to DIY principles. She died in 2004 at the age of 32.

After her death, filmmaker Sam Green and Sarah’s mother established the Sarah Jacobson Film Grant for young women “whose work embodies some of the things that Sarah stood for: a fierce DIY approach to filmmaking, a radical social critique, and a thoroughly underground sensibility

The evening will begin with a short screening of samples of previous grant winners and two of Sarah’s short films. Filmmaker Barbara Hammer and Sarah’s mother Ruth will then speak and introduce Mary Jane’s Not a Virgin Any More. The evening will also include video tributes from Sarah’s fans and friends including Kathleen Hanna, Allison Anders, Tamra Davis, Sam Green, George Kuchar, and Craig Baldwin.

Glasslands Gallery
289 Kent, at South 5th Street, Williamsburg, Brooklyn 7p doors, 8p show; $5 suggested donation at the door, all proceeds will go to the Sarah Jacobson Film Grant sjfilmgrant.wordpress.com/.

XXXXX TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 16 XXXXX

Mardi Gras Celebration

Lyndon Harris and Bailout Theater are co-sponsoring a free evening of Mardi Gras festivities. There will be a pancake dinner for the traditionalists, followed by a conversation with Marie Carter, Trapeze extraordinaire, at 7p, a masquerade starting at 8p, and a "farewell to alleluia" at midnight.

RSVP for details
5p; $?
BailoutTheater@gmail.com

***** Also on TUESDAY *****

Multiphonic Soundscapist Ben Miller and Videographer Orin Buck present the premiere of:

Minding and Light Dreams 7

Minding combines live sound, text, real-time projection and illumination; a portrayal of mind-numbing, existential thought. Light Dreams 7 is a mix of imagery from life forms in motion projected over Miller (and Reynolds') exploration in sound collage.

Gershwin Hotel
7 E 27th Street, between Madison and 5th Avenue, Manhattan 8p; $10
orinbuck.com

XXXXX WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 17 XXXXX

Chaos Cooking Part III

A continuing social experiment where up to 24 people cook 24 recipes in 1 kitchen, 4 burners, 1 oven. All recipes must be finished in a 3 hours while everyone is drinking wine, socializing and putting delectable dishes in their mouths.

How it works: Email your recipe and name to receive exact address. Bring the ingredients necessary for everyone to try a little bit of your dish, extra knives and cutting boards (if you have them) and a bottle or three of wine. Throw in $5 into a donation jar toward clean up and to the space. When you arrive pour yourself some wine, start making your dish, help someone else, pour yourself some wine, eat some of the dish that was just finished, ask for help, try not to start yourself on fire, try some more dishes, sit down and talk for a while, pour your new friend some more wine, have some dessert. We've tried this a couple of times before with great success. Some dishes ideas of what was made in the past; portobello mushroom burgers, curried squash soup, chocolate mousse with marinated strawberries, gourmet salads and bacon wrapped scallops.

Page Not Found is a 2000 sqft apartment, with a garden, used as a space to encourage strong social interaction by experimenting with collaboration, art, food, film and music.

Page Not Found
RSVP for address, Brooklyn
L train to Morgan station
7p; $5
pagenotfoundspacegmail.com

***** Also on WEDNESDAY *****

Bailout Theater

Bailout Theater is a twice-monthly free live entertainment event with free (and good) dinner and dessert, made in part by local potluck enthusiasts and donated in part by local Village food legends, which include regular donors John's Pizzeria of Bleecker St. and Hummus Place. It is held on the first and third Wednesdays of the month. We do theater, music, comedy, classic films, anything and everything. No catch, no cover, no proselytizing, no processed food.

This week, Flux Theater, a critically acclaimed artist-driven ensemble of playwrights, directors, administrators, designers and actors will be staging a reading of an original work entitled Lickspittles, Buttonholers and Damned Pernicious Go-Betweens!

Judson Memorial Church
55 Washington Square South, Manhattan
7:30p dinner, 8p entertainment
infobailout-theater.org

XXXXX THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 18 XXXXX

Fire Sale: NYC Firefighter Date Auction

The horns are blaring, the people are cheering, and a handful of New York City Firemen are in the heat ... of the spotlight for the City Reliquary’s upcoming benefit. You read that right -- the City Reliquary, home of such salacious artifacts as vintage subway tokens and World’s Fair Memorabilia -- are having a Date Auction. But not just any Date Auction -- a fire sale, a real life opportunity to take one of New York’s Bravest out on the town for a night of romance and adventure. Who knows -- they might let you taste their three-alarm chili. Firefighters from Williamsburgh’s 35 Batalion and beyond will be there for your perusal.

The Fire Sale New York City Firefighter Date-Auction is hosted in conjunction with our newest exhibit: Company Journals of the Southside Firehouse curated by Firefighter Pat D'Emic of Hook and Ladder Company 104 here in Williamsburg. This show uses the daily log book entries of our local FDNY firehouse to explain a rich history of the fire service in north Brooklyn. Beautifully handwritten entries, dating back to 1903, detail notorious fires such as the American Sugar Refinery Fire (now known as the Domino Sugar Factory), and the infamous Standard Oil Company Fire where a Chief of the 35 Battalion in Williamsburgh made the supreme sacrifice. We have also unveiled a new Community Collections window featuring the Unicorn Collection of Amanda B. Friedman which will be on display through March.

With tunes spun by the Reliquary’s very own DJ Stachemaster, and live entertainment provided by Blindspot, a 90s cover band led by Brooklyn Ladder 104’s very own Chris Amengual, this benefit is simply too hot to miss.

Knitting Factory
361 Metropolitan Avenue, Williamsburg, Brooklyn 6p doors, 7p auction; $20, all door proceeds help the City Reliquary raise direly needed operational expenses bk.knittingfactory.com/
cityreliquary.org

***** Also on THURSDAY *****

Popol Vuhlva, BabySkinGlove, and Mega Calderos

When's the last time you let 15 naked women cover you in chicken feathers as they buried themselves in each other? And how many times have you seen two men play 17 drums all at once? Come experience something. Post-feminist avant garde historical reenactment meets squirrel-infused eletro-noise tribe. It's like that thing that you hid under your mattress when you were a teen. One band and a lot of performers want to show you a good time, if you know what I mean. Billed with the Sloppy Heads, Chickens, 9/11 Thesaurus and Lucky Chops Brass Band.

Death by Audio
49 S 2nd Street, Williamsburg, Brooklyn 8p; $7

XXXXX UPCOMING XXXXX

• Flux Factory Inaugural Building-Wide Exhibition and Gala, February 19
• Friends with Benefits, February 20
• We'll Never Have Paris Variety Show 4, February 28

XXXXX ONGOING XXXXX

Nonsense is too long. The great thing about the internet is that it doesn't really cost much to run long listings and exhaustive descriptions. It turns out that's ... exhausting. After several complaints and a little deliberation, we're trying a new format: On the first Friday of the month we will run updated ongoing listings in each section: events, learning, and help. Other weeks we're going for leaner, meaner sections. If you're desperate for something to do on an off-Tuesday night we suggest you either look back a few issues ago in your inbox, or poke through our online archives, which you can find under the subscribe page.

Also, a note about better rock shows. Nonsense does not straight list rock shows in New York unless they occur in tandem with puppet shows or jump rope tournaments or in subway tunnels or in graveyards. For listings of good shows, especially shows that feature independent bands at quality venues like Death by Audio and those booked by hard-working promoters like Todd P or Sleep When Dead, consult resources like ohmyrockness.com, brooklynvegan.com/, sleepwhendeadnyc.com/calendar/, or the lively New York Happenings listserve on Yahoo groups launch.groups.yahoo.com/group/nyhappenings/. For the most exhaustive list of underground shows at unusual venues, track down a copy of the extremely useful -- and handsome -- Showpaper.

XXXXX WISHLIST XXXXX

What have you been wishing for? Collaborators, grant monies, a new home? Please send brief listings to Alita at alitanonsensenyc.com. We only list available apartments, lofts, studios, and one-off rentals -- not spaces wanted.

***** ARTY STUFF *****

• Video art piece of the Haggadah needs naked participants. I am looking for people to be in involved in a very short video shoot that requires 20 plus people naked outdoors and short light choreographed walk. It also includes a ketchup and mustard fight. It will be fun and serious, and premieres the following month at a Jewish Temple. Short art video interpretation of the Korech section of the Jewish Holiday of Passover. The short scene requires up to 40 naked people, it will be shot outside on February 20th. Location and details TBA, upon reply. We will be done by mid afternoon. There will be a clothed rehearsal in the am and the shoot shortly after. It will be done in one take with several video cameras. There will be some food and shower(s) at the shoot or nearby. Everyone involved will be given a dvd of the video when completed. The video will premiere at the end of March at the Skirball Center in NYC and later that month at the JCC in London. Contact officiacarrie(at)da show.net.
• Flux Factory needs volunteers this whole week and on the evening of February 19 to help us prepare for our inaugural show, Housebroken. Every day and evening this week from 11a on we are busting out work, painting walls, cleaning up, and turning an amazing building into NY's favorite art collective. If you can pitch in during the next few days, let us know. We also need help on the night of Friday the 19, with bartending, door ushering, and event stuff. Volunteers share tips. If you can help, please email info(at)fluxfactory.org.
• Independent Music wanted for Online Series: Are you looking for more publicity for your band? Upcoming online series Sophomoric is looking for indie/pop/rock/folk songs to feature in their show. This is a quirky, independent online series following a group of college sophomores as they experiment with states of mind in college. We're bummed we can't offer hardworking musicians any pay, but if we use your music, we'll credit you at the end of the episode, on our website (to be created), and give you hard copies of the series. You can send your awesome, independent music to Clea Litewka at clealitewka(at)gmail.com. We can't wait to hear it!
• Caligula Maximus is an off-Broadway production/party starting March 11 in the East Village at La Mama. The show will run Thursday, Friday, Saturday for four to six weeks. Directed by the minds behind the Harlem Classical Theatre, The Donkey Show, the Box, the Most Interesting Show in the World, and beyond. I'm looking for promoters who want to take a night or weekend, or be involved in the whole run; artists / sculptors / set and costume designers / actors / dancers / mad scientists, etc who want to bring their ideas and skills to life. Contact Matt Hanrahan, KingSize USA, Inc. 212 505 8500 O, 626 221 6514 M. See: kingsize-usa.com
• Actors wanted: For the Sweet Cheat, a site-specific, post-apocalyptic theatrical trespass based on a short story by Rick Moody, adapted and directed by Jeff Stark. With much of Manhattan decimated after a dirty bomb explodes in Union Square, 20 percent of the population is addicted to a drug that allows perfect memory recall. Reporter Kevin Lee's assignment: Is it true you can get to the future on Albertine? His research turns up a more compelling question: What connection does he have to the blast -- and the drug itself? Actor breakdown: 1. Kevin Lee: Asian male, mid to late 20s; a reporter addicted to his subject. 2. Cassandra: Female microbiologist, drug addict, and possibly Kevin Lee's mother. 7. Bike Messenger 2/ Grad Student 2: Female, 20s-30s. Eddie Cortez's henchman/ Ernst Wentworth's researcher. Shows run April 24-25 and April 30-May 1 at an extraordinary abandoned building just outside of New York City. This is not a theatrical space. There are no permits. Please be prepared for an extremely unorthodox guerilla production. There will be an additional public reading on March 31 in Troy, New York. Auditions are Friday, February 12, Saturday, February 13, and Sunday, February 14, by appointment only. Auditions consist of sides from the play. For an audition time, please email a photograph of yourself or links to online documentation of recent work and a few words about yourself to jstark@nonsensenyc.com, and please put SWEET CHEAT in the subject line. This is a non-union production. Negligible pay.

***** SPACES *****

• Studio/Office space, share, work only. $500, no living. We have a vacancy in our studio and wanted to get the word out. It is a great shared space on Canal and Elizabeth (a former Chinese opera theatre) with lots of light, high ceilings and wood floors (see attached pictures for an idea). The space available is 10' by 13' and is $500 per month. It's ideal for someone working in the creative industries (designers/art directors/photographers/showrooms etc). 24/7 access. The internet is wireless and multiple phone lines are available -- luxury additions include a separate toilet and a kitchen area with fridge, microwave and stove. Note that this is a work only space, and cannot be used for living. If you are interested get in touch to have a look. It's available now and one month security is required. One year lease. Contact Jason, info(at)enameldesign.com.
• Artist's Studio Share: Lorimer Street stop on the L Train. $700, 425 square feet. Sculpture studio to share with welder. Great artists' floor. Whole space is 850 sq feet, 10' ceilings, 3 windows, slop sink, freight elevator, 24 hour access, utilities included. No living. Contact Janet, abcjanetg(at)rcn.com, 917 841 8619.

XXXXX SPECTRE PRIORITY XXXXX

Before we had a name, the Spectre Event Horizon Group used to meet at a bar to commiserate and trade what our business friends like to call best practices. The group has expanded since then, but it remains focused on smartening the crowd mind. There are no subject limits; our favorite is the incredible sci-fi present, or anything that goes toward a better understanding of human behavior and our universe's ecology. Our simple intent is to connect good minds with as much quality mind-blowing information as we can freely locate and create a space for the informal trade of specialized investigative research, presented for the non-specialist.

The Spectre email list, which is a separate group from this column, is a moderated open forum. People are encouraged to join and to post. The list is compiled for Nonsense by J. Sinopoli. Contact us at spectre.event.horizon.group gmail com or spectregroup.org. Here's some of what came in this week:

***** And Never Die *****

http://spectregroup.wordpress.com/2010/02/12/and-never-die/

Living to 1,000
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aubrey_de_Grey
news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/4003063.stm "This means that all parts of the project should be fully working in mice within just 10 years and we might take only another 10 years to get them all working in humans. When we get these therapies, we will no longer all get frail and decrepit and dependent as we get older, and eventually succumb to the innumerable ghastly progressive diseases of old age. We will still die, of course -- from crossing the road carelessly, being bitten by snakes, catching a new flu variant etcetera -- but not in the drawn-out way in which most of us die at present. So, will this happen in time for some people alive today? Probably. Since these therapies repair accumulated damage, they are applicable to people in middle age or older who have a fair amount of that damage. I think the first person to live to 1,000 might be 60 already. It is very complicated, because ageing is. There are seven major types of molecular and cellular damage that eventually become bad for us -- including cells being lo st without replacement and mutations in our chromosomes. Each of these things is potentially fixable by technology that either already exists or is in active development. The length of life will be much more variable than now, when most people die at a narrow range of ages (65 to 90 or so), because people won't be getting frailer as time passes. The average age will be in the region of a few thousand years. If you are a reasonably risk-aware teenager today in an affluent, non-violent neighbourhood, you have a risk of dying in the next year of well under one in 1,000, which means that if you stayed that way forever you would have a 50/50 chance of living to over 1,000. And remember, none of that time would be lived in frailty and debility and dependence - you would be youthful, both physically and mentally, right up to the day you mis-time the speed of that oncoming lorry."

SENS
sens.org/
us.cnn.com/video/?/video/international/2009/11/30/vs.clinic.immortality.cnn longevitymeme.org/topics/strategies_for_engineered_negligible_senescence.cfm

Negligible Senescence
agelessanimals.org/
smart-publications.com/articles/MOM-guerin.php "There are certain species of rockfish, whales, turtles, and other animals that are known to live for hundreds of years without showing any signs of aging -- a phenomenon known to biogerontologists as "negligible senescence." No one knows for sure how long these animals can live for, but we know that they can live for over two hundred years without showing any observed increase in mortality or any decrease in reproductive capacity due to age. Striking examples are a 109 year old female rockfish that was captured in the wild while swimming around with fertilized eggs, and a hundred-plus year old male whale that was harpooned while it was having sex. The purpose of the AgelessAnimals Project is to understand why these animals don't seem to age and then to apply that understanding to human longevity. John Guerin is an experienced project manager, who conceived of the AgelessAnimals project and orchestrates all of the studies. The two principal advisors to this project are Dr. Le onard Hayflick and Dr. Aubrey de Grey. Dr. Hayflick, discoverer of the "Hayflick limit" of cellular senescence, states that "Guerin's project is not only unique, but probes an area of almost total neglect in biogerontology, yet an area with more promise to deliver valuable data than, perhaps, any other."

Q: What is negligible senescence?
Guerin: Basically, this refers to an animal species that doesn't show any significant signs of aging as it grows older. Unlike humans and most other mammals, there's no decrease in reproduction after maturity. There's also no notable increase in mortality rate with age, but that's a little harder to prove. I've been talking with a statistician and he's asking, how do you know? To do a study of this type would take a couple of hundred years to complete. But compared to us there's no noted increase in mortality rate. I mean, if you are 90 years old, you're much more likely to die next year then you are if you're only twenty years old. But we don't seem to see any increase in mortality with rockfish and several of these other animals over time.

Q: So we don't know if these animals are simply aging more slowly or not at all? Since we have haven't found any rockfish or whales that live for three or four hundred years, that might suggest that there is a certain limit on how long they can live. Guerin: Well, we just do not know. We honestly do not know. It really is unfortunate that there is so little known in this field. Ecologists have never thought of this in the terms that gerontologists are now thinking of it in. But this other group of organisms, those that possess what Finch termed "negligible senescence," they don't seem to be showing the classical signs of aging that we're used to. So, who is to say the longest they could live? As an example, in Finch's book that was published in 1990, at that time the longest lived whale was -- I believe it was a Blue Whale -- something like 108 years old. That's like, ok, well that's not so startling. Humans live longer than that. We're mammals. They're mammals. We live longer. Then a study was done on bowhead whales, and they found that out of forty whales sampled, four of them were over a hundred years old, and one of them was over two hundred years old. And they didn't die of old age either -- they were harpooned."

Lobsters Immortal?
npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=11382976 animals.howstuffworks.com/marine-life/400-pound-lobster.htm/ "In humans, telomerase levels decline later in life and are only found in some types of tissue, but in lobsters, telomerase is found in all types of tissue. That likely accounts for lobsters' ability to grow throughout their lives. And because lobsters' skeletons are on the outside and the molting process allows them to periodically shed their exoskeletons in favor of a new, larger one, their constant growth isn't a problem. With a steady, evenly distributed supply of telomerase, lobsters don't approach the Hayflick limit, which means that their cells stay pristine, young and dividing. Related animal species with vastly different life spans are also a point of interest. Conventional mice live only three years, but naked mole rats can live for 28. Other animals being studied include whales, bats, rockfish, zebrafish and clams, the oldest of which, a quahog clam, lived to be 220 years old. In many of these animals, the rate of telomere deterioration corresponds with their lifes pan. The longer the telomeres last, the longer the animals live. Studying these creatures may tell us much about human aging and lead to treatments for aging-related diseases. If one day humans discover an important new treatment for cancer, it may be due to one of these creatures -- or to the 200-pound lobster living peacefully in a tank at Boston University."

Forever
metafilter.com/88971/Nobody-Home
"For the past 21 years, across the limitless expanse of the North Pacific, a lonely whale has been singing, calling for a response. There has been none, and there never will. Picked up first in 1989 by NOAA hydrophones, the call is clearly a whale, but different than all other known species. Different enough that no other whale has responded in all this time. Hypotheses vary, but the mental image is definitely haunting."

XXXXX LEARNING XXXXX

We look for the sort of classes you circled in college course catalogs but never managed to fit into your schedule. And we also look for the kind of things that no college could teach. Cheap and eclectic is the rule, though all rules get broken occasionally, and we especially love workshops, round-tables, and teachers who won't take your work out of your hands and show you how to do it right. One-time listings are categorized, with general recurring classes at the end. We thrive on your suggestions, so make sure to tell us about upcoming classes that you think are nifty-keen.

Learning is compiled and edited weekly by Libby Sentz. Send listings, announcements, and corrections to her at libby(at)nonsensenyc.com.

***** LEARNING: SATURDAY *****

Decorative Paper

This workshop will introduce two different techniques to create your own decorative paper, Suminagashi and Paste Paper. We will investigate these ancient techniques to find modern applications, experimenting and transforming your reject prints into new ideas, as well as combining these mediums with your artwork. Bring prints and drawings to work with. Led by Yasuyo Tanaka. Price includes six hours of free studio time good for four weeks

The Elizabeth Foundation for the Arts
323 West 39th Street, third floor, Manhattan 10:30a-4p; $120 members, $160 non-members 646 416 6226
rbpmw(at)efanyc.org

***** LEARNING: Also on SATURDAY *****

Family Day: Build What You Can Imagine

Join artist Angela Earley for an imaginative adventure in artmaking. Observe and be inspired by the current exhibition, the no place, and create your own world using fun, inspirational materials. This free, drop-in event is appropriate for all ages.

BRIC Rotunda Gallery
33 Clinton Street, Brooklyn
Noon-3p; $free
718-875-4047
bricartsmedia.org/contemporary-art/

***** LEARNING: Also on SATURDAY *****

Audio Fun With Coils

In this workshop, you'll experiment with hand-wound coils for music and sound exploration. You'll make guitar pickups, electromagnetic noise detectors, secret sound transmitters, primitive loudspeakers, spring reverbs, and more. The class involves some simple soldering, which you can be taught. Workshop concludes with an electromagnetic jam session. See website for optional items to bring. Class fee includes a simple magnetic coil amplifier kit, which you'll assemble. Led by sound artist Ranjit Bhatnagar. Ages 18 and up.

NYC Resistor
397 Bridge Street, fifth floor, Brooklyn 4-6p; $60
nycresistor.com
eventbrite.com/r/ereg

***** LEARNING: MONDAY *****

Book Restoration

Concentrating on traditional restoration techniques, you will learn how to repair paper using Japanese tissue, repair spines and hinges, re-sew loose sections, and cloth re-backing. Pull all those broken books from your shelves and get them looking like new in a few days of fun and intense work. Familiarize yourself with the structure of the book while learning bookbinding and restoration, and the proper use of tools, materials, and adhesives. Please bring several damaged cloth bound volumes to class. All the books will have different structural loss, which we will explore as a class, learning from these various mends together. Led by Joseph A. Osina.

Studio on the Square
32 Union Square East, Studio 310, Manhattan 9:30a-4:30p; $135, plus $10 materials
917-412-4134
intimapress.com

***** LEARNING: SUNDAY *****

Intro to the Yoga Lifestyle for Men: Workshop and Dinner

Matthew Lombardo and Jai Sugrim lead this dynamic workshop, which demystifies the world of yoga for men. During the 2.5-hour yoga workshop they will cover yoga asanas, strict Vinyasa, inversions (handstand, forearm stand, etc.), and include a specific hip-opening section that will be taught in a slowed down format that students can "take-away" with them and practice at home. Following the asana portion of the workshop, Matt and Jai will explain the benefits of yoga for men and speak about the proper code of behavior a man should possess in a predominantly female-populated studio. They will also teach men how to apply yogic principles to positively affect their relationships with women. After the talk, a vegetarian dinner will be served in the Jivamuktea Cafe where they will discuss the benefits of a yogic diet and how vegetarianism can increase one's focus, clarity, and health. Then there will be an open mic Q&A session.

Jivamukti Yoga School
841 Broadway, second Floor, Manhattan
6:30-10p or so; $55
jivamuktiyoga.com/fms/index.html

***** LEARNING: MONDAY *****

Three African Dance Workshops

Some of the best African dance teachers in the U.S. are coming together for one day. Schedule is as follows: 1:15-2:45p with Khadiatou Kante; 3p-4:30p with Mamadou Dahoue; 4:45-6:30p with Youssouf Koumbassa.

Rod Rogers Dance Studio
62 East 4th Street, Manhattan
3 workshops $50 (pre–registration only); single workshop $20 646 996 7003
646 245 4658

***** LEARNING: TUESDAY *****

Creative Careers

Teenage students attending this three-day intensive with hear from creative professionals and learn hands-on from arts educators to explore product design, graphic design, photography, marketing, and more. The workshop includes instruction with industry-standard computer design programs, access to all SA supplies including digital cameras, and a workshop with a leading creative professional. Starting Artists is a community arts center that benefits underserved teenagers in Brooklyn through hands-on training in the arts and entrepreneurship. During NYC school vacations, students have the opportunity to learn arts and business skills in a safe and creative environment through Vacations Arts Intensives.

Starting Artists, Inc.
211 Smith Street, Brooklyn
Tuesday through Thursday
11a-5p; $125 (discounts available)
startingartists.org/programs

***** LEARNING: WEDNESDAY *****

Theatrical Burlesque: Creating a Persona and Building an Act

What do drag queens and clowns (good ones at least) have in common? They are able to "pull off" their characters by creating and sustaining believable (or unbelievable) stage personae. The stage persona can be anything from an extension of self to a fantastic flaming creature and finding your inner "queen" is an effective way to connect with the audience and tell a story. Through theater and improvisation exercises, writing prompts, and movement activities, this workshop will provide a framework, techniques, and the creative space to begin the process of birthing and developing a flamboyant stage persona. We will workshop and model all the elements of a burlesque act, and the class will culminate in a student showcase, tentatively scheduled for March 26. Led by Dr. Lucky, the only PhD in New York burlesque.

School of Burlesque
167 Orchard Street, Manhattan
Five Wednesdays
6:30-9:30p; $250
Preregister: schoolofburlesque(at)gmail.com. schoolofburlesque.com

***** LEARNING: Also on WEDNESDAY *****

Free Fiction Writing Class

Gotham Writers' Workshop presents a free fiction writing class, led by Sonya Chung.

Barnes and Noble, Lincoln Center
1972 Broadway, Manhattan
7:30-8:30p; $free
writingclasses.com/communityevents/index.php/index.php

***** LEARNING: THURSDAY *****

Art Work Discussion

With the economic downturn, there is less money available to almost everyone. How can artists survive, and find money for their work? Do we have a right to? What kinds of projects can emerge from this situation, and how can they sustain themselves? Using the Temporary Services' newspaper "Art Work" as a starting point, we'll discuss these questions and more. Stop by ABC No Rio to get a paper beforehand, or just come to the discussion. The paper can also be read and downloaded at artandwork.us.

ABC No Rio
156 Rivington Street, Manhattan
7:30p-?; $free
abcnorio.org

***** LEARNING: Also on THURSDAY *****

Musical Sequencer and Tone Generator

In this two-part class, participants will build a sequencer and a tone generator. Put them together and you have your own DIY synth! In simple terms, a sequencer turns things on and off at a timed interval. An even better sequencer allows you to manipulate the timing and decide which items will come on during the sequence. You can use a sequencer to time on/off cycles for anything with it’s own power source. Control a series of electronic toys, dial buttons on your cell phone, or create some crazy lighting effects in your apartment. Participants will learn how to read a schematic and how to use various electronic components to generate and manipulate audio frequencies. Anyone interested in circuit bending or basic electronics will have a great time in this class. No previous experience required. Led by Amanda Ervin.

3rd Ward
573 Metropolitan Avenue, Brooklyn
Two Thursdays
7-10p; $80 (member), $100 (nonmember)
Plus $40 material fee

NOTE: Mention Nonsense NYC when you register (deadline February 12) for a 10 percent discount. 3rdward.com/calendar

***** LEARNING: Also on THURSDAY *****

The Housing Question: Real Estate Crisis and Community Control of Land

The latest burst in the financial bubble left our neighborhoods with abandoned construction sites, bankrupt slumlords, struggling tenants, foreclosed homeowners, and more homeless people. The Housing Question by Friedrich Engels, though written in the late 19th century, helps us understand how these problems are endemic to capitalism and, more importantly, how many seemingly progressive housing reforms end up reproducing instead of solving the problems. Four workshops look at The Housing Question and its relevance to community organizing today, ending with a review of strategies for gaining community control of land. The topics include: Engels and The Housing Question, finance capital and real estate in the neoliberal city, anti-capitalist community struggles for land, and new strategies for community control of land. Led by Tom Angotti.

The Brecht Forum
451 West Street, Manhattan
Four Thursdays
5:30-7:30p; $45-$65 (sliding scale); $free for Brecht Forum subscribers 212-242-4201
brechtforum.org

***** LEARNING: UPCOMING *****

• Tai Chi Chuan I at Brooklyn Botanic Garden. 8 Fridays starting February 19. bbg.org.
• Make Your Own Absinthe with Lis at the Madagascar Institute. Saturday, February 27. 2-3:30p. classes(at)madagascarinstitute.com. madagascarinstitute.com
• Leathering with Melissa at the Madagascar Institute. Sunday, February 28. 6-9p. classes(at)madagascarinstitute.com. madagascarinstitute.com

***** LEARNING: NOTICE *****

Trade School Closing Shop Soon

What beats a school where you can trade, say, a dance move or a pair of socks in exchange for knowledge or a new skill. Sadly, you have only until March 1 to take a class at the current Trade School location in the Lower East Side. Classes on the roster range from How to Make Butter to Make a Meteorite to Scrabble Strategy for Beginners. But seats are filling up so fast, we can't keep up -- so check the schedule on the website yourself. And hurry. Who knows when or where this school will pop up next.

Trade School
139 Norfolk Street, Manhattan
Various times through March 1; $barter
646 875 8078
tradeschool.ourgoods.org

XXXXX HELP XXXXX

It is a wonderful thing, to help. Helping strengthens communities and allows you to meet new friends. With that in mind, we look for one-day volunteer opportunities with no long-term commitment required. We want to be open to fresh ideas and think of help in a broad way. These listings could include anything from a large-scale day-long service project to a local theatre company that needs volunteers for load-in; from an artist looking for film extras to a community garden that needs a few extra hands. Our goal is simply to help groups or individuals that serve the greater good in small but significant ways. Unique and interesting job opportunities are acceptable fare for this section as well. Looking for ways to help out? Need volunteers to get your own community project off the ground? Know of any existing opportunities? Send your requests to Rob Voigt at robpastyvoigt(at)gmail.com.

***** HELP: FRIDAY *****

OneBrick Fundraiser

OneBrick is having a fundraiser for relief efforts in Haiti. Come have a drink and meet fellow volunteers at Sidebar. 15 percent of food and drink purchases and 100 percent of direct donations will go to Partners in Health for their relief efforts in Haiti. The suggested donation at the door is $10. Partners In Health (PIH) has been working on the ground in Haiti for over 20 years, and has been providing emergency medical services in Port-au-Prince and the surrounding region since the earthquake.

Sidebar, 118 East 15th Street, Manhattan 3-6p
bit.ly/bA4xq0

***** HELP: SATURDAY and SUNDAY *****

The Chelsea Symphony

Looking for a way to give back to your community? Come support The Chelsea Symphony located in the heart of Chelsea. We are currently looking for individuals willing to donate their time at our performances, including Ushers, Box Office, and General House volunteers.

Enjoy music by Prokofiev, Tchaikovsky, and more, including a World Premiere by Seth Bedford. All we ask is for a small amount of your time greeting your fellow classical music supporters – we ask volunteers to show up 45 minutes before the performance.

315 West 22nd Street, Manhattan
upcoming concerts:
Saturday 8p
Sunday 3p
bit.ly/bH0SZU

***** HELP: MONDAY *****

Books Across Africa

Books Across Africa is a project of the Five Pearls Foundation, and we are seeking volunteers. Our mission is simple -- gather books and educational supplies for 80 rural libraries in The Gambia. To assist our in-country partners distribute the books, we need your help in sorting, categorizing and packing the books for shipment. We've collected hundreds of books and now we need to get them to Africa. This project will involve moderate lifting in the basement of a residential building.

51 West 128th Street, Manhattan
12-4p
April Grigsby, april_grigsby(at)yahoo.com or 917 749 8514 fivepearlsfoundation.org

***** HELP: UNTIL FEB 24 *****

Postcard Art Show

You are invited to participate, by mail, in a show at the Pacific Northwest College of Art in Portland, OR designed to raise awareness about urgent issues surrounding GLBTQ rights in Uganda. PNCA students are holding an open call for submissions of postcard-sized (4 x 6”) artwork; the theme and medium are open. The works will be shown at PNCA on March 4th during Portland's First Thursday art walk and sold for $5.00 each. Profits will benefit LGBT groups working in Uganda for their own human rights in their country.

LGBT and HIV+ Ugandans are currently struggling with the Ugandan government's 2009 proposal of the Anti-Homosexuality Bill, which broadens the already-existing criminalization of homosexuality. In its first draft, the proposed bill introduces the death penalty for those with previous convictions of homosexual activity, engage in homosexual activity with anyone under 18, or test as HIV+ and are suspected of homosexuality. The Anti-Homosexuality bill also extends to Ugandans living outside of the country and illegalizes a "failure to report" suspected homosexual activity. The bill is scheduled to be reviewed in the Ugandan Parliament in late February or early March and, if passed, will disrupt human rights for all Ugandans as well as Uganda's LGBT/HIV+ population.

Please join us in this exciting show, and help us raise awareness and funds to help combat these human rights abuses. The deadline for submissions is February 24. Mailed submissions from out of state can be sent to the following addresses.

Carlson Muss, Student Services, Postcard Art Show 1241 NW Johnson St.
Portland, OR 97209

or

Attn: Paul Fukui, PNCA Postcard Art Show Q Center
4115 N Mississippi Ave
Portland, OR 97217

or send digital works as 4x6” jpeg files to: Chloe Dietz, chloedietz(at)gmail.com

***** HELP: UPCOMING ******

• February 22-24. You can get two free tickets to see the American Classical Orchestra on February 24th by volunteering for them. Volunteers are asked for help setting up the stage for rehearsals on Monday, February 22 10a and 1p; Tuesday, February 23 1p; Wednesday, February 24, 8:30a and 5p. Harpsichords need to be set up before each rehearsal and after rehearsal and moved back to storage area, and at the end of each rehearsal we need the chairs and music stands and lights to be put away. Volunteers are also asked to help on February 24, ushering people, will call & ticket sale, setting up the pre-concert lecture and small reception. If you are interested in volunteering, call the ACO at 212 362 2727. Church of the Blessed Sacrament, 152 West 71st Street, Manhattan. amerclassorch.org.
• February 26. Mime needed. I'm an NYU Film student and I need a mime for my next short film. The shooting will last about 2 -3 hours and it will be Friday morning on February 26th between 10am and noon, or it could be over the weekend of the 27th-28th. Time is pretty flexible. If you have any questions please reply. Thank you so much! bit.ly/cR6ERK
• March 19-21. Go Green Expo New York. Go Green Expo is a forum for increasing awareness of our environmental challenges, providing businesses the opportunity to showcase green products and services, enabling non-profit organizations to educate the public and business owners. Through its interactive platform, Go Green Expo shall help forward the goal of a cleaner and healthier environment, one city at a time. It takes place from March 19-21, 9a-6p, at Pier 92 in Manhattan, 12th Avenue and West 55th Street. Contact Nancy Mathew at NMathew(at)GoGreenExpo.com or call 212 655 4505 ext 225. gogreenexpo.com.

XXXXX NONSENSE XXXXX

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XXXXX END XXXXX

Shutting up when we're talking to you.