From: "Jeff Stark" <jstark@nonsensenyc.com>
Subject: nonsensenyc: 12.11 to 12.17
Date: December 11th 2009

Friday, December 11
* Biblioball 2009: Baby, It's Cold Outside, Brooklyn * Thunder Gumbo II and the Santas of Babylon, Brooklyn * Zero Film Festival
* The Clothesline Benefit Art Sale, Manhattan * Newsonic Lovefest, Brooklyn
* DIY Quick and Dirty Ephemera Swap, Manhattan * Rubulad�s Holiday Revue and Festival of Light, Brooklyn * Das Racist Presents: Minority Fest, Williamsburg * Shipwreck, Williamsburg
* Asesinos, Williamsburg
* Terrible Things, Manhattan
* The House of Yes Christmas Spectacular, Brooklyn * Sex Crimes Cabaret, Manhattan

Saturday, December 12
* The Winter Ball, Brooklyn
* Santacon
* Cheryl: Sasquatch on Broadway, Brooklyn * Handmade Holiday Craft Fair, Brooklyn * Unsilent Night, Manhattan
* Old Croton Walk, Bronx
* Sugar Rum Cherry, Brooklyn
* Mister Saturday Night, Brooklyn
* Lose Your Shit, Brooklyn
* Dances of Vice: Trouble in Toyland, Manhattan * Showpaper Benefit, Williamsburg
* Death Bear, Brooklyn
* Reverend Billy and the Life After Shopping Choir, Brooklyn * Dance Party Amazingness, Brooklyn

Sunday, December 13
* Performance and Interactive Media Arts Ensemble, Brooklyn * The Three Rooms of Melancholia in a Hot, Cramped Basement, Brooklyn * Vintage Tea Party Take Two, Manhattan

Monday, December 14
* Beyond Belief: A Philosophical Proof of Santa Claus, Williamsburg * The Glasslands Gallery and Manhattan Inn Christmas Party, Williamsburg

Tuesday, December 15
* PS122's Red and White Party, Manhattan

Thursday, December 17
* Consume! A Holiday Spectacular, Manhattan

Wishlist
* Design intern

Spectre
* Today's Pirate (cont.)

Learning
* Holiday Hackshop

Help
* ASL Attendant Needed

NOTE: For some navigation help, or an explanation for what this is all about, scroll all the way down to NONSENSE. You'll find snarky editorial comments and little bits of praise littered throughout this list. These nuggets are marked with all caps, like this: NOTE. Also, we make a lot of mistakes, especially with dates; you should always double check our work. And you can donate to this project at nonsensenyc.com/special.

XXXXX COVER ART XXXXX

Vacuum in a vacuum.

XXXXX FRIDAY, DECEMBER 11 XXXXX

The Desk Set presents:

Biblioball 2009: Baby, It's Cold Outside

Dress up, get down, and get literary. Featuring: Master and Mistress of Ceremonies, author Robert Sullivan and librarian extraordinaire Sarah Simms. Live music from Nine/11 Thesaurus, Living Days, Hungry March Band, the Rude Mechanical Orchestra, and Lucky Chops Brass Band. Foot juggling and trapeze artists the Anne-tipodist and Jean Loscalzo. DJs Jonathan Toubin of New York Night Train, Duane Harriott, Rob Sheffield, Rob Dyrenforth, Jay Diamond, Jimmy T., Brian Kraft, Ryan Tozzi, Matt Fiveash, Don Stahl, and Megan Awesome. Incredibly fancy prizes in the Fancy Pants Raffle. Literary drink specials. Happy hour sponsored by Tuthilltown Spirits. Photo portraits by Jeremy Balderson. Illustrated portraits by J. Penry. Delicious food by La Tia Faby Baked Goods, Sweetie Pies, and Sharif Hassan.

Be sure to participate in the Fancy Pants Raffle. The more money we raise, the more books and programming nonprofit Literacy for Incarcerated Teens (LIT) can provide to incarcerated and court-involved youth.

Bell House
149 7th Street, Brooklyn
8p-4:30a; $20 advance, $25 door includes one raffle ticket, proceeds go to Literacy for Incarcerated Teens (providing books and literacy programs for detained youth in NYC)

***** Also on FRIDAY *****

Thunder Gumbo II and the Santas of Babylon

We must have made a wrong turn on our way to the Island of Misfit Toys and wound up in Babylon surrounded by a slew of Santas. Episode 2 takes the holy out of the holidays and celebrates the jolly.

With special live musical performance by Apocalypse Five and Dime (930), the Baby Soda Jazz Band (1030). DJs: Joro Boro (12a), Feliz Cumbe (130a), and Morphous (3a).

Also featuring free falah face painting, the Bangladeshi Barber, Live Turbaning, Kazam's wish granting hookah lounge, Doctor Adventure, bone shattering dubstep, delicious Cajun delights, a report and presentation on ancient Babylon by Bruce Beese, mysteriously sonorific gypsies, and more.

Dress in your finest Babylonian Festive: togas and robes, Middle Eastern gear and Santa hats, sandals with wool holiday socks, pine and mistletoe sprigs are always a great addition to the repertoire.

What is Thunder Gumbo? Thunder Gumbo is a monthly event haphazardly mishmoshing while carefully combining several elements into a stew contrasting and corresponding flavors at an underground location on the second Friday of every month.

What flavor? Resident DJ Morphous, new live bands, guest DJ's, special performances, and guest lecturers every month, a hookah lounge, delicious food, a nice beer on tap, antiques and special surprises.

Brooklyn Sanctuary
RSVP for address
8p-late, $5 before 10p, $10 after
thundergumbogmail.com
347 446 7476
thundergumbo.com

***** Also on FRIDAY *****

Zero Film Festival

Zero Film Festival is the first festival exclusive to self-financed filmmakers and the independent films they create. Focusing on a niche in the independent film community which has been under appreciated and ignored, Zero Film Festival is dedicated to screening self financed films from filmmakers all over the world.

In the age where the majority of festivals are Hollywood marketing campaigns, and even indie and underground festivals screen financed films, we are here to offer something different. We recognize authentically independent films and filmmakers who take risks and fight the odds to see their visions through.

Programs continue through SUNDAY at multiple venues in Manhattan and Brooklyn, including Galapagos and Anthology Film Archives. Check website for complete listings.

zerofilmfest.com/

***** Also on FRIDAY *****

The Clothesline Benefit Art Sale

Affordable works on paper, proceeds benefit the ABC No Rio Building Fund.

ABC No Rio
156 Rivington Street, between Clinton and Suffolk, Manhattan 7-10p; $free, $25-50
michaelalanart.com/drawathon/

***** Also on FRIDAY *****

Newsonic Lovefest

Join us for another Peace and Love Loft party at Newsonic. Live music from Dynasty Electric, Miracles, the Chairs, Sean T Hanratty, and the Mighty Mighty, DJ sets from Ski Beatz and Seth Electric, VJ Brian Gibson, Animal Projections, Liquid Light, and dancing all night long.

Newsonic
76 Rutledge Street, Brooklyn
10p-late; $5 suggested donation

***** Also on FRIDAY *****

DIY Quick and Dirty Ephemera Swap

EFA Project Space is pleased to announce DIY Quick and Dirty Ephemera Swap. The event is presented in conjunction with the exhibition One Every Day: A Printeresting Curatorial Project.

We invite you to bring your prints, posters, photocopy art, zines, comix, buttons, T-shirts, stickers, chapbook, mail art and any other form of multiple that is ripe for distribution. The Swap is intended for creators to trade the stuff they've made (no sales, only trades) and embrace the gift economy made possible through mass production! The items you bring must be a product of your own creation.

EFA Project Space, a Program of the Elizabeth Foundation for the Arts, is a multi-disciplinary arts venue that encourages creative expression and new interactions in the arts. By collaborating with organizations and individuals to present programs including exhibitions, performances, screenings, workshops, and conversations, EFA Project Space generates an ongoing dialogue about the creative process.

EFA Project Space
323 West 39th Street, second floor
6-9:30p; $free
212 563 5855 x 151
projectspace@efa1.org
efanyc.org

***** Also on FRIDAY *****

Rubulad�s Holiday Revue and Festival of Light

Bands: Les Sans Culottes, Reverend Vince Anderson and the Love Choir, the Himalayas. DJs: Repo Man, Dirty Finger, Peter Gunn, Count Zyro, and DJ Four Eyes.

In the cabaret room: Warper Party presents: Heavy W8Bit ChampionChip, Friendsmens, !Include, Materializer and Electromedon, ATTN:, and Sorijogak. Visuals: The Sperm Whale.

In the Starlight Lounge: G-Scopitronic�s Non-Stop Film Fest, Yummy Hot Drinks, and Hot F***in� Tamales.

Plus: Take-a-Gift/Leave-a-Gift Tree. Special Performance by: Stevhen Iancu (Dolomites), Modern Dance Awareness Society. Door prizes for early birds.

You can help us continue to have a Rubulad in this space by being quiet coming and going, staying inside the space during the event and not pissing all over the sidewalk as soon as you get around the corner � which, incidentally, does attract the police and they will write you a summons. The less our neighbors have to complain about, the more fun we can have.

Rubulad Home Base
338 Flushing Avenue, between Classon and Taaffee, Brooklyn B61 bus to Flushing, G train to Classon 10p doors, 11p show; $10 before 11p, in costume, or way late, $5 admission for Santas in full Santa suits, $15 otherwise

***** Also on FRIDAY *****

Das Racist Presents: Minority Fest

A multimedia event featuring nationally-recognized artists of color in comedy, music and visual art. The festival will begin with a comedy show featuring comedians Ali Wong, Sheng Wang, Hari Kondabolu and Kumail Nanjiani.

This will be followed by a panel discussion comprised of a racially diverse array of artists, academics, comedians and writers discussing what they do and issues they face as artists of color. The panel will be moderated by Himanshu Suri and Ashok Kondabolu of Das Racist.

The night will continue with performances from Das Racist, Gordon Voidwell. These artists represent a wide variety of genres. Rounding out the night are DJ sets from Sabzi of hip hop group, Blue Scholars and rapper Despot (Definitive Jux).

Glasslands
289 Kent Avenue, Williamsburg, Brooklyn 7p; $10 advance, $12 door
glasslands.com

***** Also on FRIDAY *****

Shipwreck

A dance-theater/shadow puppet spectacle. Inspired by the legend of Tristan and Iseult, Shipwreck stars Lucien Lewin, Lauren Ford, the Manhattan skyline, puppet tears, shadow ships, and a very heavy ring. Come discover this beautiful Brooklyn venue in a way you've never seen it before.

Triskelion Arts
118 North 11th Street, between Berry and Wythe, Williamsburg, Brooklyn 8p; $15
Continues through December 13
brownpapertickets.com/event/86923
infinitecoast.org

***** Also on FRIDAY *****

Yautepec Gallery (Mexico City) and Live With Animals (Brooklyn) present Mexican group exhibition:

Asesinos

Featuring Artemio, Ruben Gutierrez, Ximena Labra, Mark Powell, Joaquin Segura, and Marion Sosa. Curated by Yautepec Gallery. Mexico City's Yautepec Gallery is excited to announce the concluding half of its cross-border gallery swap with Brooklyn's Live With Animals Gallery, building on the success of their initial Mexico City collaboration in August with artists from Live With Animals and Secret Project Robot. A provocative (and often disturbing) exploration of violence from several uniquely Mexican perspectives. Featuring the artists Artemio, Ruben Gutierrez, Ximena Labra, Mark Powell, Joaquin Segura, and Marion Sosa, Asesinos is an attempt to frame the complex and pervasive nature of violence within a contemporary Mexican society that appears to be increasingly defined by it. From the systemic to the intimate, Asesinos presents violence in Mexico in a manner that is equally magnifying glass and mirror, a combination meant to compel a US audience to rethink its own distance and insulation from the trouble brewing down South.

Live With Animals Gallery
210 Kent Avenue, Brooklyn
7-10p; $free
brettyau.com.mx
yau.com.mx
livewithanimals.org

***** Also on FRIDAY *****

Terrible Things

Science Tuesday meets Oklahoma angst as Lisa D'Amour and Katie Pearl flip P.S. 122 into a low-rent IMAX and get up close and in between molecules, quarks, and memories. Have you ever wondered if all those lives you've imagined yourself living are actually happening in a parallel world(s)? Terrible Things takes audiences on a T-R-I-P inside the many lives of Katie Pearl and her action-figure literary mom. Expect an in-your-body out-of-body experience shaped by Katie Pearl, three killer dancers: Emily Johnson, Morgan Thorson, and Karen Sherman, two Brazilian Jiu Jitsu wrestlers, and 1000 marshmallows. Featuring the choreography of Emily Johnson.

PS 122
150 First Avenue, Manhattan
8p; $20, $15 students/seniors
212 352 3101
ps122.org/performances/terrible_things.html

***** Also on FRIDAY *****

The House of Yes Christmas Spectacular (Rated R for Adult Content)

Starring Lady Circus and friends. Join the House of Yes family as we celebrate the Holiday Season with our very own Christmas Spectacular, a festive, in-your-face performance extravaganza. Featuring more talent than that other Christmas Spectacular, this show is overflowing with glitter, glamour, sex, comedy, matching costumes, synchronized dancing, and outrageous theatrics.

With guest appearances by Desert Sin Dance Company, the Love Show, Jenny Rocha and the Painted Ladies, Mike Richter, Graham Skipper of FUCT, Kayti Bunny, Pearl Pistol, Band of Bicycles and more. Come early to enjoy festive treats, mistletoe kisses, and a photo-op with Santa himself.

House of Yes
342 Maujer Street, Brooklyn
L train to Grand station
9p; $20 door, $15 pre-sale
Continues through December 12
youtube.com/watch?v=6deggcIR98Q
brownpapertickets.com/event/91263

***** Also on FRIDAY *****

Collective Unconscious presents:

Sex Crimes Cabaret

Sex laws through history and the inevitable human reaction. Directed by Katherine Valentine.

Cinematic music theater. Written and performed by L. Gabrielle Penabaz. Directed by Katherine Valentine. Dancers: Kai Altair and Sarah Sparkles. Special Guest: Deity Delgado. Musicians: Lindsey and Mike from the Kowalskis, Michael Carrasquillo and DJ M!lk. Video performances by: Big Bruce, Bridget Umbarger, Flambeaux, Christine Ammo O'Day, Darlinda Just Darlinda, Deity Delgado, Egan Edwards, Gary Lippman, Gia Mele, Heather Rabbit Litteer, Julie Atlas Muz, Machine Dazzle, Nick Bixby, Nicole Blackman, Patrick Mangina Bucklew, Porno Jim Graham, Mateo Raven Solano, Nick Teal Brown, Robert Prichard, Sky & Vlad, Steve Barbeer, Terry and Tony Coleman, Tigger!, Vanessa Walters, and ZeroBoy.

Walkerspace Theatre
46 Walker Street, between Church and Broadway, Manhattan 8p; $20
Continues SATURDAY
sexcrimescabaret.com

XXXXX SATURDAY, DECEMBER 12 XXXXX

The Winter Ball

Michael Arenella and His Hot Eight and the George Gee Swing Orchestra partner up to present December's hottest holiday dance event. At Brooklyn's most enchanting little speakeasy, the Green Building, a 19th-century warehouse nestled along the banks of the Gowanus Canal, in Carroll Gardens, Brooklyn.

A most festive assortment of winter follies: Grace Gotham, the Minsky Sisters, Roddy Caravella and His Varsity Syncopators, and Drew Nugent. On-the-spot vintage portraits by Tsirkus Fotografika. Cocktails served by expert mixologists.

Green Building
450 Union Street, Brooklyn
9p; $20
dreamlandorchestra.com/calendar.php
tsirkus.org

***** Also on SATURDAY *****

Santacon

Santacon is a not-for-profit, non-political, non-religious and non-logical Santa Claus convention, attended for absolutely no reason. Holiday apparel is mandatory. Complete details online.

10a; $free
nycsantacon.com/

***** Also on SATURDAY *****

Cheryl (the dance party that will ruin your life) presents:

Sasquatch on Broadway

South Brooklyn�s most insane disco bloodbath, aka Cheryl: The Dance Party That Will Ruin Your Life, presents Sasquatch on Broadway

The Abominable Snowman, the Sasquatch, the Loch Ness monster, and the Chupacabra. In your grill. On the marquee. Yes, you saw the Yeti at the M&M's store in Times Square. Deal with it. Mythical creatures in the public arena. Grab your sequined top hat and join Tina Yothers, unicorns, mermaids, and leprechauns in a kick line on the dance floor. Bar specials, including $5 absinthe cocktails, will inspire you to work those jazz hands all night long. DJ Social Justice and special guest DJ Lloydski of Da Hardy Boyz spin an eclectic dance set including electropop, disco, new wave, old school hip hop, and Party in the USA by Miley Cyrus on loop for 4 hours straight.

Cheryl is a dance party that explores the themes of mortality, mania, the feline-human connection, the limits of shoulders, the flammability of dollar-store hair extensions, and the staining power of fake blood. Through themes ranging from topical to bizarre, the Cheryls revel in the joyous power of dance-induced psychosis/euphoria. Cheryl has been bringing its particular brand of freshmagick to New York City since colonial times, and has since acquired a dedicated cult following and media attention for over-the-top happenings involving outrageous costumes, exuberant dance moves, and participatory dance floor suicide.

Littlefield
622 DeGraw Street, between 3rd and 4th avenues, Brooklyn 10:30p-4a; $5
917 312 4516
cherylthedancepartygmail.com
littlefieldnyc.com/
cherylthedanceparty.tumblr.com/
vimeo.com/7933486

***** Also on SATURDAY *****

Handmade Holiday Craft Fair

Presented by 3rd Ward and Brooklyn Based, this year's craft fair will be our biggest yet! We'll have two floors full of goods and treats from over 120 local artisans, craft mavens and culinary masters. Plus, live music from Raya Brass Band, a continuous holiday mix of cult classics in video and audio from VJ Clay Franklin, free coffee, delicious drinks, tasty treats, and free workshops and demos.

The first 300 guests to arrive will receive free tote bags, specially designed by acclaimed illustrator Fernanda Cohen, full of special gifts from our vendors. Plus for no extra charge, you can get your old T-shirts screened with our awesome prints and pay a visit to our holiday photobooth to get your photo snapped and make your holiday wishes.

3rd Ward
195 Morgan Avenue, Brooklyn
noon-6p;
events@3rdward.com
3rdward.com/events

***** Also on SATURDAY *****

Unsilent Night

Phil Kline's annual Christmastime boombox parade. Boomboxes, cassettes, and CDs available for those you come early, but if you'd like to download an mp3 and play it on an ipod or whatever, you can get it online.

Washington Square Park to Tompkins Square Park 8th Street and 5th Avenue, Manhattan
7p; $free
unsilentnight.com/
unsilentnight.com/download

NOTE: One of the most moving, profound participatory art projects we've ever witnessed, made better by the fact that it happens every year. It's a Christmas carol for people who don't really sing.

***** Also on SATURDAY *****

Old Croton Walk in the Bronx

Stephen DeVillo of the Bronx River Alliance will lead a walking tour along the route of the Old Croton Aqueduct in the Bronx.

Jerome Park Reservoir to the High Bridge Tower in Washington Heights 10a; $donation
mm1566@nyu.edu
aqueduct.org

***** Also on SATURDAY *****

Sugar Rum Cherry

This Saturday brings the annual Danger holiday celebration of yuletide, gifts, fire, DJs and debauchery that somehow mixes the best elements of all holiday traditions while respecting none.

With performance, presents, and liquor galore. Featuring: perilous rides and contraptions built by Ryan O'Connor of the Madagascar Institute, intimate moments of candle lighting and flame games by Pyrophorus Pixxies, dancing girl glamour with the Lady Circus, and a slightly suggestive holiday video installation by Sebastian Patane Masuelli.

Dance all night to music from: Tony Tone of the Cold Crush Brothers, the Source, classic dance soul from the Dolomites, Chico Mann from Antibalas, DJs Swedish Meatballs and Morphous, plus late night techno by DJ Kimyon and Zemi 17.

3rd Ward Brooklyn
195 Morgan Avenue, Brooklyn
L train to Morgan station
9:45p-late; $15 with rsvp
21 and over
thedanger.com/

***** Also on SATURDAY *****

Mister Saturday Night

Things have been going really well with the recent incarnation of Mister Saturday Night. The loft feels great, the sound is amazing, the guests have been top drawer and vibe has been just right.

With John Tejada's playing with us this weekend. And there's an open bar all night long.

1142 Myrtle Ave, Brooklyn
10p-late; $8 advance, $10 before midnight with RSVP, $15 otherwise mistermistersaturdaynight.com
mistersaturdaynight.com
residentadvisor.net/mistersaturdaynight

***** Also on SATURDAY *****

Lose Your Shit

Loft party with DJ Smallchange, Eli Escobar, Dub War DJs, and Dirty South Joe.

It's back and we need it -- Lose Your Shit -- the dance party that mashes up NYC nightlife. Lose Your Shit (the lovechild of DJ Smallchange and MeanRed productions) is a loft party series for the music-obsessed. Artists as far-reaching as King Britt, Cosmo Baker, Jonathan Toubin, Fort Knox Five, Rub N Tug, House of House, and Michna have all graced the LYS turntables. The party was created to be a showcase of NYC's finest DJs, and the goal was to feature a wide range of musical genres in the course of one night. Those who attend never know for sure if they'll hear Dubstep, Baltimore Club, Glitch-Hop, R&B classics, Funk 45s or Electro-Disco anthems, but they are always guaranteed to lose their shit.

Warehouse
49 North 3rd Street, Williamsburg, Brooklyn 10p; $10 before midnight with RSVP
loseyourshit.com

***** Also on SATURDAY *****

Dances of Vice: Trouble in Toyland

Search beneath the merry facade of Winter Toyland and you'll find there's trouble afoot! Dances of Vice welcomes you to a surrealist's Toyland, where daily dolls go missing, and the toy soldiers have gone quite deranged...

Trouble in Toyland will feature the salacious syncopations of Grandpa Musselman and His Syncopators, performing a special winter themed set of vintage jazz and burlesque performances by the stunning Ms. Tickle and that devious darling Pandora Scintillator. Also, appearing from their curious electronic music-box are thereminist Cornelius Loy and Chrx of Cor-Leonis!

Dress code: Little Bo Peep, Hansel and Gretel, Mary Contrary, Jack Nimble, Toy Soldiers, Dolls, Puss in Boots, Wind-up ballerinas, Miss Muffet, Peter Piper, Jack in the Box, Elves, Queen of Hearts, or vintage and formal evening attire.

Rebel NYC
251 West 30th Street, Manhattan
9p-2a; $20, or $15 with RSVP
infodancesofvice.com
dancesofvice.com

***** Also on SATURDAY *****

Showpaper Benefit

A special Saturday afternoon screening to benefit Showpaper, consisting of shorts presented by the Get Ahead Fest. The program will run around two hours with an intermission midway. The first block of shorts will consist of works created for the first three editions of the Get Ahead Fest this summer on the themes of Will Power, Cities, and End Times. The second block will be a variety of bizarre and fun shorts curated by the Get Ahead team. As a special treat, the Get Ahead team will show a sneak preview of their new super 8mm music video from the Jackson Heights sensation the Beets, I Think I Might�ve Built a Horse, which will be featured on their upcoming album.

Showpaper is a non-for-profit organization committed to establishing a greater network of emerging young artists and musicians throughout the tri-state area. The bi-monthly, print-only publication provides a comprehensive listing of over 300 all ages music events in conjunction with database of more than 50 show spaces for young performing artists. Additionally, each issue�s cover is a full color print by a current and upcoming artist

The Get Ahead Festival is an ongoing film series that encourages established and first time filmmakers to create new work without direct economic incentive. The Festival takes place on the last Sunday of the month, each time with a different venue and theme.

Uniondocs
322 Union Avenue, Brooklyn
3p; $6-12
getaheadfestgmail.com
uniondocs.org

***** Also on SATURDAY *****

Death Bear

We all have someone or something we would rather just forget. Things fall apart. Love hurts. Dreams die. But when you summon Death Bear to your door, you can rest assured that help has come. At first you may be intimidated by his stature and color (7 feet tall with a hard, black bear head, black jumpsuit, and black boots), but absorbing the memories of others is a dark art, and Death Bear must present himself appropriately for this solemn duty. Death Bear will take things from you that trigger painful memories and stow them away in his cave where they will remain forever allowing you to move on with your life. Give him an ex's clothes, old photos, mementos, letters, etc. Death Bear is here to assist you in your time of tragedy, heartbreak, and loss. Let Death Bear help you, and absorb your pain into his cave.

Brooklyn only
text 347 742 2293 for an appointment
$free
Continues SUNDAY
clubanimalsnyc.blogspot.com

***** Also on SATURDAY *****

Reverend Billy and the Life After Shopping Choir

As American unemployment hit the double digits in November, the highest in over 25 years, Reverend Billy Talen has a message of Peace on Earth and peace of mind for Brooklynites facing the holidays amid financial uncertainty.

"You don't have to buy a gift to give a gift" says Talen, of the Church of Life After Shopping. "Consumerism enforces a bizzaro-world morality around the holidays, where we don't feel guilty for indulging but instead feel guilty for not indulging and spending enough, We're telling Brooklyn: You can have a guilt-free, debt-free Christmas this year. Don't charge Christmas on the credit card, save Christmas by spending time with your family and community."

New Yorkers can tap into the holiday spirit of buylessness by joining Reverend Billy and his 40-voice, Life After Shopping Gospel. Through performance and direct action the Church of Life After Shopping works with communities around the world to push back the Devil's Monoculture, the big boxes and chains, the brain-freezing ad-bath.

Brooklyn Lyceum
227 4th Avenue, Brooklyn
R train to Union Street station
8p; $10
718 857 4816
brooklynlyceum.com
revbilly.com

***** Also on SATURDAY *****

Dance Party Amazingness

With: DJ Dirty Finger, Anton Glamb and Radical Outing Crew, DJ Hostility, DJ Spanky, and Danzie.

Lake
258 Johnson Avenue, Brooklyn
L train to Montrose station
10p-4a; $5 for an individual arrested in September during the G20 protests firetotheprisons.com

XXXXX SUNDAY, DECEMBER 13 XXXXX

Performance and Interactive Media Arts Ensemble

A performance in the world�s oldest subway tunnel. Meet at the southwest corner of Atlantic Avenue and Court Street, under the clock. You will then climb down a manhole to experience the interactive, immersive, multimedia performance as realized by Brooklyn College�s collaborative, interdisciplinary MFA program.

Atlantic Avenue Tunnel
Meet at Atlantic and Court, Brooklyn
1:30p; $5

NOTE: This is one of the coolest places you can get into legally in Brooklyn. You can tour it on some weekends, but it generally costs twice as much just to go down there. We got really excited when we heard about the show and asked for more information. This is what we got: "Ok so not everyone wants there names to be listed, but basically it is a collaboration between 15 artists (students), and one instructor. I can tell you that the first part of the performance involves an interactive dance party, and the other part is kind of hard to explain, but the whole performance is based on the subway. I hope this helps some, sorry I can't be more descriptive."

***** Also on SUNDAY *****

The Three Rooms of Melancholia in a Hot, Cramped Basement

An potentially unpleasant evening to carefully consider adding or not to an already-packed December schedule. The Three Rooms of Melancholia at Unnameable Books' awfully cluttered and low-ceilinged basement, at six o'clock on a Sunday. Gin and no other refreshment will be served. Warm gin. And snacks, but. There will probably be chairs provided.

The Three Rooms of Melancholia, directed by Pirjo Honkasalo, reveals how the Chechen War has psychologically affected children in Russia and in Chechnya. Divided into three episodes or 'rooms,' the film is characterized by an elegantly paced, observational style, which uses little dialog, minimal voice-over commentary and a spare but evocative musical score.

Room No. 1, Longing, set in a military academy in Kronstadt, near St. Petersburg, portrays the highly regimented lives of the young cadets, most of them from broken or dysfunctional families, who are being trained for future roles in the Russian army. While showing their military drills, classroom sessions, church ceremonies, and recess period, the film briefly profiles several of the boys, whose stories reflect the political turmoil of contemporary Russia.

Room No. 2, Breathing, filmed in Grozny, the capital of Chechnya, the former Soviet republic fighting for its independence, shows the widespread destruction wrought by the Russian shelling and bombardment, a city where families struggle to survive in barely habitable buildings, packs of stray dogs roam the streets, Russian military vehicles clog the roads, soldiers monitor roadblocks, and a courageous woman attempts to rescue orphaned or semi-orphaned children from the violence.

Room No. 3, Remembering, filmed in the neighboring Islamic republic of Ingushetia, focuses on children in refugee camps and in a makeshift orphanage, including a young boy found living in a cardboard box, a 19-year-old girl traumatized by her rape at the age of 12 by Russian soldiers, and a roomful of children transfixed by televised images of the deadly aftermath of the crisis in which a Moscow theater audience was held hostage by Chechen terrorists. The event is in the basement, next to the broiler. 104 minutes.

Unnameable Books
600 Vanderbilt Avenue, Brooklyn)
6p; $free and a free informational zine

***** Also on SUNDAY *****

Vintage Tea Party Take Two

All aboard! The Vintage NYC Subway cars are taking off, and the Levys' Unique New York want to invite you to join their Vintage Tea Party Take Two. (Vintage Tea Party Take One was way back in 2004.) On Sunday New York's First Family of Tour Guides, will board a Vintage NYC Subway Car with teacups, saucers, dainty cookies, and everything else you'd expect from a late-19th century parlor room drama. And for the cost of a Metrocard swipe, you can join them! Dandy up in your finest petticoats and top hats, and bring your favorite finger foods, cups and saucers, and tea to share. We'll ride to Queens and then ride back. What gaiety.

Dress period-specific. Bring tea and snacks to share.

2nd Avenue station, Manhattan
2p; $free
levysuniqueny.com

XXXXX MONDAY, DECEMBER 14 XXXXX

Beyond Belief: A Philosophical Proof of Santa Claus

In the Great American Slog towards material decrepitude, old-age, and finally death, no disillusion looms greater than the discovery that Santa Claus is a fraud. Indeed, Santa may be reasonably seen as the first domino to topple on the way towards Godhead itself. In this interactive lecture featuring live testimony from skeptics and believers alike, we will attempt to restore the idea of Santa Claus to those who have suffered it�s loss. Using historical fact, ontological argument, and inductive reasoning, we will prove the existence of Santa Claus in a non-denominational passion play for the disbeliever.

Directed by Jamie Hook, with video by Peter Pentz. Open City Dialogue (OCD) is a bi-monthly lecture series unraveling on alternating Mondays in the backroom of Pete�s. Short (35-40 minute) lectures are woven together from the common thread of people�s obsessions, with guests coming from all over Greater New York. Whether academic or crackpot; celebrated or unsung, our lecturers all have something to tell you.

Pete�s Candy Store
709 Lorimer Street, Brooklyn
7:30p; $free

***** Also on MONDAY *****

The Glasslands Gallery and Manhattan Inn Christmas Party

A Glasslands/Manhattan Inn Talent Show hosted by Fritz Donnelly and Christina Ewald of Hi Christina. DJ Preskool, DJ Ducci Bear, DJ Hu and the Jew, and DJ Jonathan Toubin of New York Night Train.

Glasslands Gallery
289 Kent Avenue, between South 1st and 2nd streets, Brooklyn L train to Bedford station
10p; $free
glasslands.blogspot.com/
myspace.com/theglasslands

XXXXX TUESDAY, DECEMBER 15 XXXXX

PS122's Red and White Party

Downtown's definitive holiday bash. Featuring DJs Joro Boro and Andrew Andrew and Lost Acts of Crime or Emergency. Let your hair down and get your spirits up alongside season artists, performance-lovers, dance-freaks, gypsies, supporters, friends with benefits and passport holders, the PS122 board, and staff.

With FLiPBOOTH interactive media installation, Lost Acts of Crime or Emergency Cabaret and Star Hostages: Kate Benson, Kourtney Rutherford, Jason Schuler, Andrew Dinwiddie, Eben Moore, Eleanor Hutchins, Susie Sokol, Jim Fletcher, Johanna S. Meyer, and more to come. Dress: anything goes. Dancing shoes and / or drinking helmets recommended.

Mehanata, aka Bulgaria Bar
113 Ludlow between Rivington and Delancey 8p-2a; $10 advance, $15 door
21 and over
ovationtix.com/trs/cal/203/1259691521543/prm/ ps122.org

XXXXX THURSDAY, DECEMBER 17 XXXXX

The Giddy Multitude Vaudeville co. presents:

Consume! A Holiday Spectacular

Continuing the cabaret hijinks and variety-show shenanegans, the GMV is back at you with a show of no restraint. We're going the whole hog -- chock-a-block with burlesque, comedy, acrobatics, music and more, this performance promises a heaping helping of that holiday spirit who goes by the name of Fill-'er-up!

Performing in this show will be: Busty Kitten, Evangeline Reilly, Lydia Love, Kira Kupcake, the Amazing Amy, the Sunday Crew, Sarah Gaddis, and Lady Scoutington.

WOW Cafe Theater
59-61 East 4th Street, fourth floor, Manhattan 8p; $10

XXXXX UPCOMING XXXXX

• December Hot Chocolate Crawl, December 20
• Transmutation, December 31
• Mean Red and the Rub, December 31
• Disorient's DX, January 1

XXXXX ONGOING XXXXX

Nonsense is too long. The great thing about the internet is that it doesn't really cost much to run long listings and exhaustive descriptions. It turns out that's ... exhausting. After several complaints and a little deliberation, we're trying a new format: On the first Friday of the month we will run updated ongoing listings in each section: events, learning, and help. Other weeks we're going for leaner, meaner sections. If you're desperate for something to do on an off-Tuesday night we suggest you either look back a few issues ago in your inbox, or poke through our online archives, which you can find under the subscribe page.

XXXXX WISHLIST XXXXX

What have you been wishing for? Collaborators, grant monies, a new home? Please send brief listings to Alita at alitanonsensenyc.com. We only list available apartments, lofts, studios, and one-off rentals -- not spaces wanted.

***** ARTY STUFF *****

• Call for Submissions: We'll Never Have Paris, going on its sixth run. A small press lit zine for all things never meant to be. Deadline March 30. Submissions of narrative nonfiction, and new: laundry lists and (select) poetry. Drawings and interviews also accepted. East meets west. Send as a word attachment, single spaced. Also: want to get involved? WNHP wouldn't mind a Web site and maybe a podcast, greater publicity and maybe some money so we can charge readers less. Shoot me an email, serious inquires only. Contact neverhaveparis(at)gmail.com
• Lucky Gallery is looking for graffiti artists for an upcoming drawing show. Contact laura(at)luckygallery.com. See: luckygallery.com.
• I recently started an online literary/art travel magazine and am looking for a design intern. I'm looking for someone interested in editorial design and book/magazine publishing. There is no compensation for now other than a listing on the masthead and magazine hookups if you need them. I'm not getting paid either. If the magazine ever makes money, it will be paid. Job is five to ten hours a week, two or three weeks a month, for three months. Familiarity with Photoshop or GIMP is essential; most of the work is with photos. Illustration skills a plus. The name of the journal is Nowhere. My thought: The idea of travel has been confused with tourism. And travel magazines have been confused with brochures. I am not making a journal of tourism. Rather one of found experiences outside the house, illustrated with objects brought back from the trip. I really don't care if the piece is about a trip down the Ganges, a month in Paris or walking to the store. They are equally exotic an d compelling in my mind. The canvas is completely open. Think Byron's the Road to Oxiana or Cendrars' Trans-Siberian Prose. Tim Cahill is pasting together old notes from an assignment for a piece. The poet Bill Berkson is mixing poetry and prose, retelling a story about a recent trip to Japan. Josip Novakovich, Alan Bernheimer and Arthur Bradford will also be in the first issue. Contact porterfox(at)gmail.com.
• Elsewhere Collaborative, a living museum and experimental production environment in downtown Greensboro, North Carolina, is now accepting applications from artists, curators, writers, musicians, designers, gardeners, makers, builders, scholars, producers, and creatives across media for residencies in 2010. Elsewhere is set within a three-story former thrift store, boarding house, and warehouse containing one woman's enormous 58-year collection of American surplus, thrift, and antiques. Elsewhere residencies invites experimental creators to join our collaborating community in utilizing this immense collection of objects, no longer for sale and instead circulating internally, as material or inspiration for site-specific projects that become part of an endlessly transforming environment of objects and works. Artists live and work within interactive installations that provide evolving frameworks for investigating collaborations, community structures, and creative processes. Res idency fellowship funding for travel, room and board, are now available in exchange for hosting an educational workshop during the residency. Deadlines are rolling every other month; the deadline for fellowships is January 31, 2010. Read more and download a brochure at elsewhereelsewhere.org/programs/residencies. Contact Danna, residencies@elsewhereelsewhere.org, 847 702 8389.

***** SPACES *****

• Performance Space Wanted: I'm a theater-maker and Rude Mechanical Orchestra dancer. I'm looking for a performance space for a weeklong run of a show that I co-directed in this summer's Hot! Festival at Dixon Place. We're hoping to go up the first full week of January. We're not very set/tech heavy, aside from a video-projection rig, so many kinds of spaces could work for us. We need a floor to perform on (15 by 15 or bigger, ideally) and room for 50-75 seats. We're not rolling in cash, but based on this summer's experience we expect to be able to sell a lot of seats (we were one of the few shows that had to turn folks away from standing room.) The show itself, Between Two Worlds, or, Who Loved You Before You Were Mine, is fun and strange and ghost-y. Dancer/performance artist J Dellecave and iIdirected it; Killer Sideburns/Emily Nepon did most of the writing, as well as being part of the five-person cast; Niknaz Tavakolian made the video and projection systems. Here is part of the blurb: Five deviant queers, their mythical beast secret identities, and all of their ghosts walk into a cabaret. The result is a show about yearning for ancestors, the empty spaces left by the first generation of AIDS deaths in fag/queer communities and the way the next generation is called to fill those spaces. In this re-interpretation of Yiddish theater classic The Dybbuk, the consensual possession of a lover by the ghost of their beloved is a model for acknowledging the collective loss we hold and reflect in our queer bodies. The cabaret is a love letter to the ghosts among us. Contact Daniel Lang/Levitsky, magpierosza(at)yahoo.com.
• Two Different Sublets Available: Medium Room now until December 31, or large room for February, Williamsburg. Located right around the corner from bustling Grand Street, on South 1st Street and Bedford Avenue, a super-convenient and fun place to live. Ten-minute walk from the Bedford L train or Marcy J,M,Z station, or take the bus or bike over the bridge. The apartment is unrenovated and cluttered but charming, with eat-in kitchen, gas stove, comfy living room with full cable and Tivo. Wifi throughout, plenty of heat. We have two cats who are very loving, it's not a great place for the allergic. A quiet, house-trained dog would be welcome, no more cats though. There's also no smoking in the house. Medium-sized quiet back bedroom available for sublet now through December 31, unfurnished, $500 with utilities included, or pro-rated for the time you need it. Also, the large, comfy, palatial, and furnished front bedroom will be available for sublet for all of February while I am traveling: full-sized bed, freshly painted. The large bedroom is $900 with utilities included. Both rooms have two windows each and wood floors, the back bedroom has a closet. It's a small, friendly and safe building. December sublet, share with me, a late-20s accessories designer. February sublet, share with my roommate, a sweet mid-20s guy who works in book publishing. Contact Alita, alita(at)nonsensenyc.com.
• Sublet Available in 5,000 square foot live work space. $695 per month, January 1- April 15. Wood shop, plenty of space for creative projects, laundry, wireless, ping pong table, five roommates, huge rooftop. Your room is about 400 square feet, with a view of Manhattan, bed, couch, giant desk. This place is called the Chicken Hut, used to be known for giant parties but we don't really do that anymore. Everyone that lives here except me is in the Black Label Bicycle Club if that tells you anything. Everyone works and is productive. Ideal person would be fun, easy, comfortable with the dirt associated with warehouse living, self-sufficient, creative, like to cook, like to dumpster amazing food. This is an ideal situation for the right person wanting an authentic Brooklyn experience .... if you think that may be you, contact Robin, robinfro(at)gmail.com.
• $2450, Three-bedroom Sublet. Sunny, clean, modern in excellent, safe location -- East Williamsburg near the Montrose L. We are looking for two or three people to take over a lease on a great apartment (current tenants had to move out of state). Lease runs December 15 or January 1 through July 31, 2010. Location is excellent: 15 minutes to Union Square, 30 minutes to midtown. The building is new construction with only six units. The location is safe, quiet with little to no street noise and only three blocks from either the Montrose stop or the Morgan stop on the L train. The apartment details: third floor walkup, 12 foot ceilings, great layout for roommates. One bedroom in front, two bedrooms in back, split by bathroom. Each bedroom has doored closet and each room can fit double or queen bed, desk, and bookshelf with room for a yoga mat. Front bedroom has one six-foot window, facing East (lots of morning sun). Back bedrooms have two six foot windows, facing south; one inclu des a lofted double bed frame. Programmable thermostat, shiny hardwood floors, video intercom system, easy street parking. Pet friendly. First month's plus one month's security deposit required. Contact andiwillrest(at)gmail.com with questions or to schedule a showing.
• $1500, one-bedroom furnished apartment available January, February, AND March. I am subletting part of my house for three months this winter. It is a two-floor apartment. The kitchen has been recently redone and has a dishwasher, gas stove and lots of gadgets if you like to cook. There is a living room, dining room, kitchen and full bath on the upper floor and a bedroom with a queen-size memory foam bed and half bath on the lower floor. There is a turntable and lots of records, dvd player and also wifi in the apartment that you can use. This is a really great location on one of the prettiest and quietest streets in Williamsburg. Two blocks from the Graham Avenue L train, you can get to Union Square in ten minutes. Also there is a big backyard with a barbecue and garden for some wintry cookout action and a gated lot where you can park your car off the street. I would prefer someone for the whole period (it will be available any time after December 29 up until March 31 ) but I might consider a shorter sublet. Rent is $1500 per month, all utilities are included. Orient avenue at Olive Street. Contact kayrock(at)gmail.com.
• Room Available: $800 per month plus security, available immediately. One room just became available in our loft. Private room, 14 foot ceilings. Safe neighborhood with a 10-minute commute into the city. Three blocks from the L train, groceries, laundry, good food, bars, and coffee two-minute walks away. Loft is a corner apartment so it's lined with huge windows and gets plenty of light. Roof access with gorgeous view of the city and a perfect place to relax. Artists and musicians are welcome. We are two low-key roommates who are rarely home due to our work and play. We are looking to fill the room as soon as possible so serious inquiries only please. Contact embaltz(at)gmail.com, 917 365 1802.
• Unique Opportunity. Live on the famous ferry boat docked permanently in East Williamsburg. Fun, inspired and creative community. Amenities include workshop, wood-burning fireplace, swimming pool, laundry, awesome roommates, sailboat access, and a sauna. Five blocks from the Grand stop on the L train. $800, utilities included. Contact Angie, 201 320 0226.
• Giant live-work space, cheap. I am renting a huge loft space in the South Bronx, one block away from the train and police station. It is 7500 square feet for only $3690. That's $738 a person for a five-person share, or $615 for six people. Also a part of the offer is two months free rent, and no broker's fee. There is plenty of room to build non-lofted bedrooms and everyone would have ample studio space. There are a lot of windows and natural light. The space is pretty rough. There is no kitchen, but there are two finished bathrooms, one is brand new and contains a toilet and a sink, and the other has a toilet, a new sink, and a stand-up shower. The landlord has offered to put in a kitchen sink, but as of now, we would have to install a stove, a fridge, and cabinets (which we could feasibly find for cheap on craigslist; I could easily make the cabinets in my shop). There is one giant slop sink. I am looking for someone comfortable building walls and doing general constructi on and is enthusiastic about the space. Artists, writers, architects, creative minds, etc., are all welcome, so long as you are ready to do some work to make this space amazing. Personally, I am a young artist working primarily in sculpture. I'm a native New Yorker, and I grew up in a loft in TriBeCa (my parents are also artists). Move-in dates are flexible so long as we provide a $1200 deposit. This deposit will go towards the final deposit for move-in. We are looking to move in/begin renovation around January 1. They are currently painting the floors and walls, replacing windows, and doing general cleanup. There are some walls up already. There are around three overhead heating units, so heating may be pricey for the whole space. I've asked for a quote, but haven't gotten a response on a utilities estimate. This space is amazing and huge. I would also like to set up a wood shop to accommodate art making. Please contact me with a brief statement about yourself and why this space sounds appealing to you. Contact Avery Singer, singer2(at)cooper.edu.
• Room Available, $675 per month: One block from Prospect Park/laundry/shopping/subway. I am seeking a responsible, reliable and clean professional of any gender to share a two bedroom apartment in the Prospect Park area, available immediately. The apartment is located on the corner of Parkside Avenue and Flatbush Avenue, right across the street from the Q train. Utilities are not included; they run roughly about $100 a month. First month and security to move in. The bedroom is about 10x14 and completely unfurnished. It has high ceilings, a hardwood floor, a closet, two large windows, and steam heat. The kitchen is fairly large, with a brand new fridge and stove. The living room is also large, and there is room for your furniture if you choose to bring some. The apartment is a totally smoke and drug free zone (yes, that includes 420). Social drinking is fine, but nothing excessive. Please don't be allergic to cats; I have one. One more cat is welcome to the household as long as it's friendly to both humans and other cats, and non-destructive. Sorry, no dogs. I am open to any and all alternative lifestyles. Queer, vegetarian, vegan, kinky, Christian, Jewish, Wiccan, whatever. I will respect your lifestyle, as long as you respect mine. If you're interested, please send me an e-mail telling about yourself, what you are looking for, and why you are looking to move. I will respond with much more detailed information about both myself and the apartment. Contact melissa.s.cohen(at)gmail.com.
• Studio/Office Space Available: $500, no living. We have a vacancy in our studio and wanted to get the word out. It is a great space on Canal and Elizabeth in a former Chinese opera theatre, with lots of light, high ceilings and wood floors. The space available is 10 by 13 feet. It's ideal for someone working in the creative industries: designers/art directors/photographers/stylists etc. The current tenant in that section is running a fashion showroom- there are existing shelves and racks installed on the walls that could be left in as you desire. the west wall is painted gray. unless you specify it the fixtures will be removed and everything painted white before you occupy it. The internet is wireless and multiple phone lines are available �luxury additions include a separate toilet and a kitchen area with fridge, microwave and stove. It's available from the beginning of January and one month security is required. Contact jason(at)enameldesign.com

XXXXX SPECTRE PRIORITY XXXXX

Before we had a name, the Spectre Event Horizon Group used to meet at a bar to commiserate and trade what our business friends like to call best practices. The group has expanded since then, but it remains focused on smartening the crowd mind. There are no subject limits; our favorite is the incredible sci-fi present, or anything that goes toward a better understanding of human behavior and our universe's ecology. Our simple intent is to connect good minds with as much quality mind-blowing information as we can freely locate and create a space for the informal trade of specialized investigative research, presented for the non-specialist.

The Spectre email list, which is a separate group from this column, is a moderated open forum. People are encouraged to join and to post. The list is compiled for Nonsense by J. Sinopoli. Contact us at spectre.event.horizon.group gmail com or spectregroup.org. Here's some of what came in this week:

***** Today's Pirate (cont.) *****

http://spectregroup.wordpress.com/2009/12/11/todays-pirate/

Somali Pirates Start 'Stock Exchange'
http://www.reuters.com/article/idUSTRE5B01Z920091201 "In Somalia's main pirate lair of Haradheere, the sea gangs have set up a cooperative to fund their hijackings offshore, a sort of stock exchange meets criminal syndicate. The gangs have made tens of millions of dollars from ransoms and a deployment by foreign navies in the area has only appeared to drive the attackers to hunt further from shore. It is a lucrative business that has drawn financiers from the Somali diaspora and other nations -- and now the gangs in Haradheere have set up an exchange to manage their investments. One wealthy former pirate named Mohammed took Reuters around the small facility and said it had proved to be an important way for the pirates to win support from the local community for their operations, despite the dangers involved. "Four months ago, during the monsoon rains, we decided to set up this stock exchange. We started with 15 'maritime companies' and now we are hosting 72. Ten of them have so far been successful at hijacking," Mohammed said. "The shares are open to all and everybody can take part, whether personally at sea or on land by providing cash, weapons or useful materials ... we've made piracy a community activity."

"Piracy-related business has become the main profitable economic activity in our area and as locals we depend on their output," said Mohamed Adam, the town's deputy security officer. "The district gets a percentage of every ransom from ships that have been released, and that goes on public infrastructure, including our hospital and our public schools." Haradheere's "stock exchange" is open 24 hours a day and serves as a bustling focal point for the town. As well as investors, sobbing wives and mothers often turn up there seeking news of male relatives missing in action. Piracy investor Sahra Ibrahim, a 22-year-old divorcee, was lined up with others waiting for her cut of a ransom pay-out after one of the gangs freed a Spanish tuna fishing vessel. "I am waiting for my share after I contributed a rocket-propelled grenade for the operation," she said, adding that she got the weapon from her ex-husband in alimony. "I am really happy and lucky. I have made $75,000 in only 38 days since I joined the 'company'.""

Pirate Democracy
http://www.peterleeson.com/Opportunism_and_Org_Under_the_Black_Flag.pdf http://www.peterleeson.com/The_Calculus_of_Piratical_Consent.pdf http://www.peterleeson.com/The_Invisible_Hook.pdf http://freakonomics.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/04/20/pirate-economics-101-a-qa-with-invisible-hook-author-peter-leeson/ "Q: In the book, you write that pirates had set up their own early versions of constitutional democracy, complete with separation of powers, decades before the American Revolution. Was that only possible because they were outlaws, operating entirely outside the control of any government? A: That's right. The pirates of the 18th century set up quite a thoroughgoing system of democracy. The reason that the criminality is driving these structures is because they can't rely on the state to provide those structures for them. So pirates, more than anyone else, needed to figure out some system of law and order to make it possible for them to remain together long enough to be successful at stealing. Q: So did these participatory, democratic systems give merchant sailors an incentive to join pirate crews, because it meant they were freer among pirates than on their own ships? A: The sailors had more freedom and better pay as pirates than as merchantmen. But perhaps the most important thing was freedom from the arbitrariness of captains and the malicious abuses of power that merchant captains were known to inflict on their crews. In a pirate democracy, a crew could, and routinely did, depose their captain if he was abusing his power or was incompetent."

The Breakaway Functioning-Democracy of Somaliland http://www.somalilandgov.com/
http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m2242/is_1679_287/ai_n27865671

XXXXX LEARNING XXXXX

We look for the sort of classes you circled in college course catalogs but never managed to fit into your schedule. And we also look for the kind of things that no college could teach. Cheap and eclectic is the rule, though all rules get broken occasionally, and we especially love workshops, round-tables, and teachers who won't take your work out of your hands and show you how to do it right. One-time listings are categorized, with general recurring classes at the end. We thrive on your suggestions, so make sure to tell us about upcoming classes that you think are nifty-keen.

Learning is compiled and edited weekly by Libby Sentz. Send listings, announcements, and corrections to her at libbysentz(at)me.com.

***** LEARNING: FRIDAY *****

Portraying the Self Workshop

Alex and Allyson Grey lead a weekend workshop on self-portraiture. Few pictures through the ages are more honest or experimental than self portraits. They can nobly and expressively convey the deepest feelings with sincerity. The mirror enables an artist to capture their most personal view of reality. The degree of comfort with which self portraits capture physical features, environmental conditions and the artist's inner world can leave a faithful record of self scrutiny through the creative process. Facing ones moods, expressions and shadow, the artist can go beyond likeness and represent inner turmoil, inner spirit, and higher possibility. This workshop will allow the exploration of various mediums, examine the history of self-portraiture, offer immersion into the soul through self-revelation, and address philosophically the nature of the self. Materials list will be provided upon registration. Workshop begins Friday evening with arrivals from 5-7p, dinner, then lecture. W orkshop hours Saturday 10a-10p, Sunday 10a-1p.

CoSM Art Sanctuary
46 Deer Hill Road, Wappinger Falls, New York Friday through Sunday; $250, including meals Accommodations limited, reserve at 845-297-2323 cosm.org

***** LEARNING: SATURDAY *****

Holiday Hackshop

Eyebeam's annual, super-kitschy, fun-for-the-whole-family event is back. For one day and one day only, Eyebeam becomes an all-ages, multi-workshop electronic craftmaking fair, with entertainment, decorations and plenty of holiday spirit. The workshops are artist-led, free (save for minimal material costs), and you�ll leave with gifts that will far surpass lopsided clay mugs of years past A fun, thrifty, edutainment alternative to the trance- and occasionally rage-inducing department-store crawl. Featuring: Bright Bike 2.0 Workshop, Sno Globe-O-Mania, Laser-Cut Ornaments, Ornament Decoration, Cardmaking, and RjDj Sprint.

Eyebeam
540 West 21st Street, Manhattan
1-6p; $free, plus materials costs for some of the workshops eyebeam.org

***** LEARNING: Also on SATURDAY *****

Guatemalan Embroidered Earrings

Join the Textile Arts Center and local Guatemalan artisans to help support DESGUA. In this workshop, attendants will hand-embroider a pair of hoop earrings to give as a holiday gift. You will be taught basic embroidery techniques and the art of beautiful Guatemalan embroidery.

Textile Arts Center
Museum of Arts and Design
2 Columbus Circle, Manhattan
1-5p; $45, plus $15 materials
212-299-7777
textileartscenter.com

***** LEARNING: Also on SATURDAY *****

A Free Day of Dance, Yoga, Capoeira, and More

To share some holiday spirit, Resurgent Fitness offers a full day of excellent free classes, including abs at 11:15, capoeira at noon, Muay Thai at 1:15, bellydance at 2:30, Congolese dance at 4p, yoga at 5:15, and Djimbe dance and drum at 6:30.

Resurgent Fitness
845 Sterling Place, Brooklyn
11a-6:30p; $free
347-405-6709
resurgentfitness.com

***** LEARNING: SUNDAY *****

Classic Moves of Burlesque

Burlesque performer extraordinaire Jo Weldon has learned directly from the ladies who performed during the golden age of 20-century striptease and is ready to show you the best of the best in this women-only class. You'll learn all the classic moves, including how to twirl nipple tassels to the left, to the right, in, out, one at a time, and on your back! You will also learn and perform a choreographed number. Wear basic close-fitting simple clothing or workout clothes. Bring a basic back-hooking bra in order to learn the straptease. Boas, gloves, shimmy fringe, and pasties will be provided. You'll get the basics of the history of burlesque and striptease as an artform, plus you'll hear plenty of stories of how Jo learned each move from each amazing performer. You'll also learn a bit about costuming, getting gigs, the history of the Burlesque Hall of Fame and burlesque in Coney Island, where to see burlesque shows in NYC, and more.

The Slipper Room
167 Orchard Street, Manhattan
1-3p or 3:30-5:30p; $30
schoolofburlesque.com/classicburlesque.html

***** LEARNING: MONDAY *****

Creative Reuse Holiday Workshop

Join the Lower East Side Ecology Center and the owners of Sunday Love Artelier to learn about how to make one person's trash into a holiday treasure. Specialists will show you how to restore old, discarded furniture into works of art and brainstorm creative reuse at home and at work. Also, create your own reuse holiday craft. Kids welcome.

Lower East Side Ecology Center
624 Grand Street, Williamsburg
7-9p; $free
info@lesecologycenter.org

***** LEARNING: WEDNESDAY *****

Bauhaus Bags: Design Your Own Tote

Ellen Lupton, writer, curator, graphic designer, and director of the graphic design graduate program at Maryland Institute College of Art (MICA), Baltimore, leads participants in a hands-on workshop about Bauhaus design principles. Use geometry, patterning, imagery, and lettering to create simple, direct graphics that reflect the Bauhaus�s aesthetic message of clarity and boldness, and learn basic techniques that you can apply to future projects. All supplies, including paints, paint pens, and basic canvas bags, are provided; you may also bring your own canvas tote bag or shoes to decorate. Class will be held three times Wednesday; limited to 20 people per session, first come, first served.

The Museum of Modern Art's Bauhaus Lab
11 West 53rd Street, Manhattan
11:30a, 12:30p, and 1:30p; $free
212-708-9400
moma.org/visit/calendar/events/7634

***** LEARNING: Also on WEDNESDAY *****

Wine Class: 2-for-1 Tix

Bring a friend to Develop Your Nose: East Coast vs. West Coast, a wine class led by David Lombardo. You'll taste and discuss phenomenal wines from New York and California, and you'll train your palate to pick out the distinctive flavors that make wines from each region so tasty.

Astor Center: The Gallery
399 Lafayette Street, Manhattan
6:30-8:30p; $65 (two for price of one with this code: 241NOSE03) astorcenternyc.com/class-develop-your-nose-east-coast-vs-west-coast.ac

***** LEARNING: Also on WEDNESDAY *****

Videoblogging 101

This hands-on class will take you through the steps needed to make a Web page that showcases videos you have created. Learn how to set up a blog, how to upload your footage, and ways to benefit from having your video on the Internet. Prerequisite: Orientation & Basic Computer Skills.

The Brooklyn Center for Media Education BCAT Media Center
647 Fulton Street, Brooklyn
6-8p; $10
718-935-1122
bricartsmedia.org/events/videoblogging-101-your-video-on-the-internet-2

***** LEARNING: THURSDAY *****

Materials for the Arts Open Studios

Join New York's premiere reuse center for its monthly open studio night. Classroom studio spaces will be at your disposal to work, well-stocked with tools, how-to books, a plethora of materials, and a special featured �inspiration item� pulled from one of MFTA�s unusual donations. While there will be no formal instruction, teaching artists will be present to spark creativity, aid in artmaking, clarify learning standards, and answer any questions on art and reuse.

Materials for the Arts
33-00 Northern Boulevard, 3rd Floor
Long Island City
5:30-7:30p; $7 (includes materials)
mfta.org

***** LEARNING: UPCOMING *****

Fabric Printing Methods using heat transfer to make quick and easy printed T-shirts, tote bags, scarves, and more. 3rd Ward, 573 Metropolitan Avenue. 11a-2p, December 19. NOTE: Mention Nonsense NYC when you register (deadline December 14) for a 10 percent discount. 3rdward.com

XXXXX HELP XXXXX

It is a wonderful thing, to help. Helping strengthens communities and allows you to meet new friends. With that in mind, we look for one-day volunteer opportunities with no long-term commitment required. We want to be open to fresh ideas and think of help in a broad way. These listings could include anything from a large-scale day-long service project to a local theatre company that needs volunteers for load-in; from an artist looking for film extras to a community garden that needs a few extra hands. Our goal is simply to help groups or individuals that serve the greater good in small but significant ways. Unique and interesting job opportunities are acceptable fare for this section as well. Looking for ways to help out? Need volunteers to get your own community project off the ground? Know of any existing opportunities? Send your requests to Rob Voigt at robpastyvoigt(at)gmail.com.

***** HELP: SATURDAY *****

Girls on the Run Manhattan

Girls on the Run is an interactive life-skills program that uses the power of running to change the way girls see themselves and their opportunities! Our 5K will be held on the morning of December 12 and we need about 40 general purpose volunteers for race day. You will be helping by serving as race marshals, handing out water to the runners, liaising with the schools, checking in other volunteers, and passing out food and drinks to runners.

Asphalt Green, Manhattan
8:30-10:30a
Holly Carmichael, runningholly(at)gmail.com, gotrm.org

***** HELP: SUNDAY *****

ASL Attendant Needed

Puppetry arts is performing a musical showcase of Anthropomorphic on Saturday and Sunday at the Regal Court Street Theatre. We need a Sign Language attendant for the Sunday show. Please let us know if you or anyone you know can help us out.

Regal Theatre, 106 Court Street., Brooklyn 11:30a-1p
puppetryarts.org, info(at)puppetryarts.org

***** HELP: THURSDAY *****

Housing Works Client Party

Housing Works is an organization fighting the dual crises of AIDS and homelessness, and this annual event celebrates our thousands of clients and their families, by providing them a day of food, fun, gifts, and love. We are seeking volunteers to help make this event a success. Several positions and shifts are available, including:

Set up, 9-11a: Volunteers will help decorate the event in fun holiday decor Servers, 12-4p: Volunteers will help serve the delicious food provided by HW catering company, The Works Breakdown, 4-6p: After the fun, we will need help breaking it all down Skip the gym, get your workout during this shift

Klitgord Auditorium, 285 Jay Street., Brooklyn bit.ly/5lxT8V

***** HELP: NOW TO DECEMBER 22 *****

Christmas/Chanukah Elfin Project

Visiting Neighbors is looking for a few good volunteers aka elves to deliver gifts to homebound, isolated, and lonely senior citizens during the month of December. Brighten the season for an older person who may not get any other gifts or visits during this festive time of year.

Volunteers should be at least fifteen years of age. We requires two letters of recommendation for those volunteers who are visiting and delivering gifts to seniors. We would appreciate it if a volunteer could bring a roll of wrapping paper, tape and scissors.

Schedules are very flexible. Gifts can be picked up at the Visiting Neighbors office from 11a-7p weekdays and delivered on a weekday, weeknight, or weekend. Please call the office to let us know when you are coming.

611 Broadway Suite 510, Manhattan
Howie Square, 212 260 6200
visitingneighbors.org

***** HELP: on the INTERWEBS *****

Web Site Help

Angel Street Thrift Shop in Chelsea, needs a volunteer to help us post information and images for our re formatted web site. Established 1997, all of the thrift shop's proceeds benefit innovative programs for individuals and families affected by Substance Abuse, HIV/AIDS and Mental Illness. If you have experience in this area and have free time, we would love to talk to you.

118 West 17th Street, Manhattan
212 229 0546

***** HELP: ONCE a WEEK *****

Yoga Teacher

A non-profit yoga collective seeks an additional teaching member willing to volunteer. You should be a certified instructor with up-to-date yoga insurance capable of teaching a Vinyasa-style class. Initially it�d be teaching a 60 or 75 minute class once or twice a week, with bi-weekly meetings. We want someone willing to work as an equal team member with the rest of our group and evolve as a collective, who is able to help with group projects from distributing postcards to researching grants.

We are a certified non-profit organization that offers donation-based yoga classes to the public. We are still in our infancy and going through many transitions in order to grow. We are looking for someone who can help us shape a community around a safe place where all people are welcome to come and breathe and sweat.

Greenpoint, Williamsburg, Brooklyn
http://bit.ly/7eQbIv

***** HELP: YEAR-LONG POSITION *****

Volunteer Advocate

Wyckoff Heights Medical Center's Violence Intervention and Treatment Program is currently recruiting volunteers 18 and older to train to become advocates that will provide crisis intervention, advocacy, and supportive assistance to victims of sexual and domestic violence in the Emergency Department.

Following the completion of a 40 hour training to be provided at no cost, along with medical clearance, advocates make a one year commitment to being on-call (by phone or pager) for 2-3 shifts a month. Training is expected to begin in January.

374 Stockholm Street, Brooklyn
718 906 3846

***** HELP: UPCOMING *****

• January 25-26. The NYC Department of Homeless Services will hold its annual Homeless Outreach Population Estimate (HOPE). Thousands of volunteers are needed to canvass parks, subways and other public spaces to survey the number of people living unsheltered in the city. Just one night of your time will help us collect vital information that is used by outreach teams to help homeless people leave the streets for a better life. Go to the DHS homepage at nyc.gov/dhs for more information and registration. One night, 3,000 volunteers, let�s make it count. Please consider joining us today.

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