From: "Jeff Stark" <jstark@nonsensenyc.com>
Subject: nonsensenyc: 8.14 to 8.22 double vacation superlist
Date: August 14th 2009

Friday, August 14
* The Wassaic Project Summer Festival
* Brooklyn Bailout Burlesque, Brooklyn
* Flashing Lights, Manhattan
* Swoon Magazine NYC Release Party, Williamsburg * Super/Prime Fundraiser, Williamsburg
* Intergalactic Planetary, Brooklyn

Saturday, August 15
* Overboard: A Fundraiser for Figment, Manhattan * Gay Clothing Swap, Williamsburg
* The Waterpod Presents: Blackout, Brooklyn * Dances of Vice Third Year Anniversary Party, Brooklyn * Volatility, Brooklyn
* Floating Kabarette, Brooklyn
* The Return of Rococo Party: A Baroque Bash, Manhattan * Work for Pay, Manhattan

Sunday, August 16
* Get Your Garden On, Brooklyn
* Fix/ Grub, Brooklyn

Monday, August 17
* Robots and Aliens Rise Again, Williamsburg

Wednesday, August 19
* On Juche: North Korean Propaganda Films: Theirs and Ours, Manhattan * Evolving Healthcare: Third Root Community Health Center Fundraiser and Party, Brooklyn

Thursday, August 20
* Zero Film Festival's New York Premiere, Brooklyn

Friday, August 21
* Fund the Wedge, Williamsburg

Saturday, August 22
* Remix Barbecue Shiai
* Tsirkus Fotografika, Brooklyn
* Breast Friends Forever, Manhattan

Wednesday, August 26
* Brain Drain, Wiliamsburg

Ongoing
* Stuff at Coney Island

Wishlist
* Nonsense Anniversary

Spectre Priority
* Space-Time Foam

Learning
* Natural Watercolors

Help
* Block Party

NOTE: For some navigation help, or an explanation for what this is all about, scroll all the way down to NONSENSE. You'll find snarky editorial comments and little bits of praise littered throughout this list. These nuggets are marked with all caps, like this: NOTE. Also, we make a lot of mistakes, especially with dates; you should always double check our work. And you can donate to this project at nonsensenyc.com/special.

XXXXX COVER ART XXXXX

Naval battle food fight.

XXXXX FRIDAY, AUGUST 14 XXXXX

The Wassaic Project Summer Festival

The Wassaic Project Summer Festival is a free, annual, multi-disciplinary festival held in Wassaic, NY with over 75 national artists, 20 bands, five guest curators, poetry readings, film screenings, performances, and much more. This free convergence in Wassaic, NY, will inspire you to be a better person.

Housed in and around historic buildings in Wassaic, NY, the Wassaic Project's summer festival escapes the white walls of traditional art spaces and focuses on site-sensitive installations and performances. This festival creates a weekend-long opportunity for the public, as well as artists of all mediums, to come together, exchange ideas, learn new things, and engage in a thriving community.

Participants are encouraged to come for the day or stay the weekend camping onsite. Programming is cutting-edge yet predominantly family friendly. The beautiful Hamlet of Wassaic is remarkably accessible from NYC and a short walk from the Wassaic MetroNorth train station.

Musicians include: Hannah Cohen, Jalopy, Sebastian Blanck, Norden Bombsight, Portable Sunsets, Zeljko McMullen, Pickin on Pearl Jam, Kalen, Mountainhood, State of Emergence, Ellis Ashbrook, Ladybug Stingray, Softamerica, DJ DogWalker, the New Feelings, YOY, John Ehlis, Sky White Tiger, and Paul Rosenberg and Tamarack.

Performers include: Mirror Mountain, Athena Fliakos, Brett Siddell, Charmaine Patricia Warren and Ashe, Chin Chih Yang, Quinn Dukes, Yoga by Rouben, Naomi Goldberg Haas/Dances for a Variable Population, Egill Kalevi Karlsson, and Ryan Sullivan. With poetry, film, shorts.

Various times and spaces. Check website for complete listings. Continues through SUNDAY
wassaicproject.com

***** Also on FRIDAY *****

Brooklyn Bailout Burlesque

Seven artists from seven countries, four bands , drinks, games, free entry. This Friday expect everything from unsentimental portraits, vibrant colors, playful items contemporary weirdness with a good old anti-establishment vibe. Between high art and crumbling economy there is a commonground for inexpensive works, keenly tailored for broad appeal at Brooklyn Bailout Burlesque.

Featuring Jon Burgerman (UK), Jim Avignon (Germany), Roman de Milk and Wodka (Switzerland), Ema (France), Asuka Ohsawa (Japan), Daniel Dueck (Brooklyn), and Christine Young (Brooklyn).

Plus bands playing: Imler, Anxieteam, My Favorite Things, and Rifle Recoil. Plus games the Wheel of Fortune and Jon Burgerman's Golden Monkey.

Factory Fresh
1053 Flushing Avenue, between Morgan and Knickerbocker, Brooklyn L train to Morgan station
8p; $free

***** Also on FRIDAY *****

Flashing Lights

Flashing Lights is the neon brainchild of some of the city's most beloved selectors: DJ Ayres , Nick Catchdubs, and Jubilee. Flashing Lights was born to fill the void with house, disco, techno, and rave. No hype, just tunes. For the next Flashing Lights we return to 88 Palace in NYC for sweaty dancing in Chinatown. 88 Palace is a dim sum restaurant on the second floor of a minimall under the Manhattan Bridge. We're proud to present the NYC debut of Mad Decent's amphibian party anarchists Toadally Krossed Out. We're also hosting a tag team set by JUBILEE + UDACHI, who are celebrating the release of their hot single "Paypur / Smoke Rings" as well as Jess' born day.

88 Palace
88 East Broadway, second floor, Manhattan 10p-4a; $10, $7 with RSVP
19 and over

***** Also on FRIDAY *****

Swoon Magazine NYC Release Party

Issue 5 party. Featuring: Patrick Cleandenim, Further Reductions, Light Asylum, and DJs Peter (Bellmer Dolls) and Daniel (Preacher and the Knife). Projections by Mighty Robot AV Squad.

Live With Animals Gallery
210 Kent Avenue, Williamsburg, Brooklyn 8-11:30p; $free
swoonmagazine.com/shop.html

***** Also on FRIDAY *****

Super/Prime Fundraiser

Super/Prime is an amorphous project of shifting sites with the aim of providing increased visibility to young and emerging artists. Exhibitions take place in unsold condos, victims of the collapsed economy and falling real-estate market. These otherwise unoccupied spaces allow for a platform upon which we may construct an alternative institution to support the production and dissemination of art.

In preparation for Super Prime's inaugural show we will be throwing one of the most outstanding fundraisers of all time, featuring amazing bands, DJs and video projections. With Dubbknowdubb, Dianetics, Starring, New Yoga, and Teengirl Fantasy.

Video projections by Lizzi Harper and Zach Steinman. Camilla PC will be killing it on decks throughout the night, and DJ Sto Money will do an exclusive life altering/earth-shattering/soul-possessing sunrise DJ set. Oh, and there's an open tequila bar.

Paris London West Nile
285 Kent Avenue, Williamsburg, Brooklyn 11p; $10

***** Also on FRIDAY *****

Intergalactic Planetary

All night house-party with musicians from around the world, dance DJs, aerial performance, and unearthly acts. Featuring music from Bajah and the Dry Eye Crew, Akim Funk Buddha, the Two Griots, DJs $mall Change, Sirak, and Prolific spinning into the late night.

Plus gravity defying performance from the Lady Circus. Kae Burke and Make Fun will be hosting a costume creation session on the second floor for anyone heading west in need of new style for adventures in Black Rock City.

House of Yes
342 Maujer Street, Brooklyn
L train to Grand Street station
9p doors; $10 for the Intergalactic (dress in your best extra-planetary formal wear), $15 for the Earth-bound, BYOB africagalactica.com/
houseofyes.org/

XXXXX SATURDAY, AUGUST 15 XXXXX

Overboard: A Fundraiser for Figment

Drop anchor and walk the plank at Overboard, an all-night dance party to benefit Figment. Join us as we transform a haggard ferrydock into a merry port of call, featuring the siren songs of the city's finest DJs. Our vessel is the Battery Maritime Building, a 100-year-old structure of classic exterior elegance, and a raw indoor dock full of old woods and ironwork from the days of yore.

Maritime, mermaid, sailor, pirate, deep sea creature or other nautical attire is encouraged. Your navigator disc jockeys for this adventures are: Derek Beres, Friar Tuck, Lee Mayjahs, and Zemi17.

Figment is an annual participatory arts weekend on Governors Island, with artwork in every imaginable medium. It is a free, non-profit endeavor run by volunteers. Last June marked its third year. Hundreds of artists participated and over 13,000 people attended. Figment's summer-long exhibition, the City of Dreams, includes 16 large-scale interactive sculptures, and an 18-hole artist designed minigolf course. It is open every Friday, Saturday, and Sunday until October 11.

Battery Maritime Building ferry slip
10 South St, Slip No. 7, Manhattan
10p-4a; $15 advance tickets, $20 door, all proceeds go toward production expenses for Figment 21 and over with ID
figmentnyc.org/overboard
brownpapertickets.com/event/73856

***** Also on SATURDAY *****

Gay Clothing Swap

I am hosting a gay clothing swap on Saturday afternoon. Hey it's a free way to get new stuff.

No one can afford a new wardrobe, half of us gained 10 punds out of depression and the other half lost 20 via starvation. Re-Vamp your closet for free. Swap old rags for new and dress them up with free alterations and embellishment, courtesy of Hank Starr and Uzi. Please bring five items of gently used fabulous or unfabulous clothing to swap with other gay marginally employed Brooklynites.

The Metropolitan
559 Lorimer, Williamsburg, Brooklyn
3-10p; $free

NOTE: We asked the organizer if there would be clothes for straight people too. This is her response: "I just wanted to do a clothing swap for men. All of my girlfriends do it and brag about it while my guy friends sit around with a bunch of clothes that don't fit. There will probably be some women's clothes thrown in by lipstick lesbians and some drag queen dresses as well."

***** Also on SATURDAY *****

The Waterpod Presents: Blackout

This one-time event will take place aboard the Waterpod, a floating, self-sustaining dwelling. We will host a diverse and invigorating line-up of lectures, performances, music, and videos to commemorate the anniversary of the Northeast Blackout of 2003, an incident which left New York City unplugged for nearly two days.

Participants include: Brandstifter; Martha Clippinger; Cloudcloud with Trinitron, Dan Diana, and Tsubasa; Sarah Granett; Allan Hazlett; Joelle Howald; Mary Mattingly; Shinichi Ono; Anne Percoco; Post Neo-Absurdist Anti-Collective; Justin Shull; Vickysbooties; and Bryan Zanisnik.

Brooklyn Bridge Park
Entrance at Furman Street and Joraleman Street, Brooklyn 4-7p; $free
waterpod.org

***** Also on SATURDAY *****

Dances of Vice Third Year Anniversary Party

Come, celebrate with us another year of jubilance, decadence and depravity amongst the finest of femmes and fellows at Dances of Vice. Entering our third year, a new saga of forgotten eras unfolds, as Dances of Vice joins forces with the sensual sophisticates of Company XIV to continue our nocturnal phenomena at the Dance Eden that is their theater in Carroll Gardens.

Our Third Year Anniversary Party will feature a musical performance by Miss Shien Lee with the scintillating syncopations of Grandpa Musselman and His Syncopators, and the exhilarating dramatics of Company XIV.

Complimentary lashings of specialty gin punch for the first 100 guests.

303 Bond Street Theater
303 Bond St, Brooklyn
9p doors, 10p show; $10
dancesofvice.com/

***** Also on SATURDAY *****

Volatility

The infamous and cavernous Bushwick boat, hidden in the boggy canals of Brooklyn will play host to a wild array beats, fire, art, dance, and spirits.

Music: Miho Hatori(of the Gorillaz/Cibo Matto) with her band, New Optimism, followed by Sistine Criminals. DJs: Kimyon, Uproot Andy, Geko Jones, Feliz Cumbe, Zack Shadetek, Blacky II, and Swedish Meatballs.

Fire rituals by Donia, aerial feats by House of Yes, performances by Lady Circus, body art by Wheylan, and volatile experiment by the ship's own Ben Devoe, along with many more special guests.

Costume: come dressed primitive, volatile, and godlike. Colors and costumes emulating the sun, fire and power (red, yellow, black, white, orange) are expected -- otherwise one will be provided you. Be prepared to undergo the costume gauntlet

RSVP with password Nonsense for meet-up address, Brooklyn sundown to sunrise;
bushwickboat@gmail.com
bushwickboat.com

***** Also on SATURDAY *****

Floating Kabarette

We have a great show for this Saturday night, and it's free. We're trying to build the show and employ as many performers as we can, many of them resident performers; the show will run weekly in the late fall. Featuring 10 performers from trapeze to burlesque to music and there will be a short film and free haircuts.

Hosted by diva Angela DiCarlo, with Narcissister, Jenny Rocha and Her Painted Ladies, Adam and Mia, and Anya Sapozhnikova.

Galapagos Art Space
16 Main Street, Brooklyn
10p; $free
718 222 8500
galapagosartspace.com/about.html

***** Also on SATURDAY *****

The Return of Rococo Party: A Baroque Bash

The extravagance of 1770 rococo Paris meets the eclecticism of 2009 underground New York nightlife. Think Amadeus, Marie Antoinette, the Marquis de Sade, etc, but with a thoroughly modern twist.

This fifth Summer Edition installment of the party will feature burlesque, juggling, spectacles, magic, feats of strength, a unicycle or two, live art, and live techno baroque, and rococo rock music.

Powdered wigs, powdered faces, candelabras, masques, and big hair will all abound in the most baroque ball since the guillotine came down.

Featured performances by Nick Ignazzi (magic), MacheteLatte (blockhead), Lil Miss Lixx (burlesque), Kat Mandu (burlesque), and Michael Richter. Live music by: SnazzMammoth. and kmbs.

Teneleven
171 Avenue C, between 10th and 11th streets, Manhattan 8p; $5 cover, $2 with costume, masks will be available, best costume wins a prize aardvark2000@gmail.com
returnofrococo.com

***** Also on SATURDAY *****

Work for Pay

This weekend, Envoy gallery is presenting Work for Pay as a part of their One Day at a Time series. Please drop in during the day for the artists' office hours or join us for the reception, performance, and afterparty.

Work for Pay is a performance piece by Lydia Bell, made in collaboration with three unemployed or underemployed artists. Sara K. Edwards, Brock Shorno, and Adriana Young were recruited through an open call and paid for rehearsal time, during which they worked collectively with Bell in the making of the piece. Through the performance of Work for Pay, the artists demonstrate their marketable skills to audience members. work for pay is supported, in part, by FEAST (Funding Emerging Art with Sustainable Tactics). After party by Audio Diptych, a performative DJ team consisting of Lindsay Benedict and Colleen Macklin.

Envoy Enterprises
131 Chrystie Street, Manhattan
noon�6p opening/closing, 7p performance, 8-10p afterparty; $? workforpay.wordpress.com
envoy.typepad.com

XXXXX SUNDAY, AUGUST 16 XXXXX

Get Your Garden On

Workshops with gardeners. First Carissa Carman and Logan Smith, the Waterpod Living Systems Designers. This is your chance to garden on the Pod. Come explore hands on garden maintenance, tricks, tips, insect identification, and harvesting. A great event for the family or anyone interested in getting in touch or exercising their green side. Then Britta Riley from the Window Farms Project will be doing a how-to-build a window farm. Followed by Severine von Tscharner Fleming from the Greenhorns and a DIY 4H: Hands-on, and ending with Annie Novak from Rooftop Farms in Greenpoint, who will be stopping by to help out, with additional special guests Urban Plant research.

Waterpod
Pier 5, entrance at Furman Street and Joraleman Street, Brooklyn Bridge Park, Brooklyn 1-3p Carissa Carman and Logan Smith, 3-4 Britta Riley, 4-6p Severine von Tscharner Fleming, 6-7p Annie Novak; $free waterpod.org

***** Also on SUNDAY *****

Fix/ Grub

Film screening and fun. Film screening after Grub community dinner. An overdose death is a preventable death. Communities for Safer Injection Facilities (CSIF) is a movement that promotes an alternative to turning a blind eye.

Directed by Nettie Wild, Fix: The Story of an Addicted City, follows the struggle to open a safer injection facility in Vancouver, Canada, and to increase the capacity of people who use illicit drugs to live healthy and productive lives.

Shown through the eyes of VANDU activists Ann Livingstone and Dean Wilson, former mayor Philip Owen, businessman Bryce Rositch, and Vancouver Police Department Sergeant Doug Lang, Fix is a powerful documentary that chronicles the fight to address the drug-related overdose tolls, the epidemic rates of HIV/AIDS infection, and general social unrest in Vancouver.

The screening will take place simultaneously with Grub on the rooftop. With Overdose Prevention Training and Narcan/Naloxone education for interested.

Rubulad�s Home Base
338 Flushing Avenue, at Classon, Brooklyn 7p doors and dinner, 8:30p film screening; $free tinyurl.com/SaferInjectionFacilities

XXXXX MONDAY, AUGUST 17 XXXXX

The Love Show presents:

Robots and Aliens Rise Again

A scifi fantasy at the new Monday Night Burlesque. Featuring: Angela Harriell's Cybernetic Love Show Dancers, Interdimensional Devout Dancing Duo, Group Hug, and stellar surprise guests, hosted by Space Admiral David F. Slone.

The Love Show gets the sexy going with their tightly choreographed and costumed numbers, theatrical appeal and gorgeous girls and boys. A little cabaret, a little ballet and a whole lot of rock 'n' roll, the Love Show has entertained all audiences from the glitzy nightclub life to the gritty downtown theater. Classically trained dancers and detailed choreography tell a story with every number... a story both intimate and universal. The Love Show has worked for such clients as Vogue Magazine and Cointreau liqueur, and rocked stages ranging from CBGBs Gallery to The New York Burlesque Festival.

Public Assembly
70 North 6th Street, between Kent and Wythe Avenues, Williamsburg, Brooklyn 10p; $10 admission
718 384 4586
theloveshownyc.com
publicassemblynyc.com

XXXXX WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 19 XXXXX

On Juche: North Korean Propaganda Films: Theirs and Ours

In celebration of the release of Euna Lee and Laura Ling, the Brecht Forum presents a special evening of North Korean propaganda films. The films are part of the Visual Liberation Film Festival, viewing at the Brecht Forum from August 1 to September 30.

The tension between the United States and North Korea has always been focused on military build ups, but it has also been a war of ideas. "On Juche" examines those tensions, including the US Army Corps' the Crime of Korea to the hilarious Cunnlgius in North Korea, produced by Young-Hae Chang Heavy Industries.

Brecht Forum
451 West Street, ground floor between Bank and Bethune in the West Village, Manhattan 7:30p; $6, $10, $15 sliding scale
212 242 4201
brechtforum.org

***** Also on WEDNESDAY *****

Evolving Healthcare: Third Root Community Health Center Fundraiser and Party

Third Root is about to turn one year old. That's right, we've been providing accessible, empowering, collaborative healthcare for a year already, and we're having a party to celebrate. Please join us August 19 from 6-11p for an evening of live music, testimonies of our work in the last year, a heartfelt goodbye to Green Weyland-Llewellin, a founding member of Third Root, and a raucous welcome to Telesh Lopez, new Community Development Organizer, and two other (yet to be announced, drum roll please.) new staff at Third Root.

Performances by the Rude Mechanical Orchestra, My Gay Banjo, Bell's Roar, and DanceAlisaDance. Drink specials, a raffle, barbeque, and a special Third Root drink with rooty liquers and tastiness.

Sycamore Bar
1118 Cortelyou Road, between Westminster and Stratford, Brooklyn 6-11p; $10-20 no one turned away
718 940 9343
infohirdroot.org
thirdroot.org

XXXXX THURSDAY, AUGUST 20 XXXXX

Zero Film Festival's New York Premiere

The first festival exclusive to self-financed filmmakers has our New York Premiere at Galapagos Art Space, in build-up to our weeklong festival in December.

Recession? What recession? Team Zero has built an explosive program of no Hollywood nonsense, zero budget filmmakers featuring some of the finest hidden cinematic talent of our day. Participating filmmakers include Guy Ben-Ner, Alia Raza, Victor Varnado, Aaron Katz, and Timothy Saccenti.

Our first event in New York offers three distinct screening blocks. Open your free PBR and watch the films being created all around you by New York's finest underground filmmakers in our Community Block. Next prepare yourself to be moved by our Made for Zero and Heroes of the Zero Budget block. Now our seriously visually enhanced After Party begins with music video premieres and live performances, including hand held projections.

Evening line up: Contributing filmmakers include Guy Ben-Ner, Alia Raza, Victor Varnado, Rodrigo Lopresti, Sunset Television, Peru Ana Ana Peru, Jesse Gelaznik, Elaine Lima, Bianca Ahmadi, Lovisa Inserra, "Mike Smith", Zach Clark, Mary Wall Bronstein, Jacquelyn Gallo, Lena Dunham, Timothy Saccenti, and Team Zero and more.

Audio and music video contributions from Soundpool, Setting Sun, SVIIB, Dan Gould and special guest Kaki King.

Galapagos Art Space
16 Main Street, Brooklyn
7:30p doors, 8:30p screening, 10:30p�2a music; $10 advance, $15 door

XXXXX FRIDAY, AUGUST 21 XXXXX

Fund the Wedge

Final fundraiser for the Wedge, three days before we go to Burning Man. Over half the price of the first event and twice the entertainment. Multiple Loft spaces with great beats, burlesque, circus, the cast of Fuerzabruta, acrobats, massage stations, aerial performances, video installations, buy me a Wedgie booth, an art silent auction, the Wedginator, and a raffle for hundreds of dollars in prizes.

The Wedge is a 30-foot tall, 24-foot wide, 72-foot long massive grassy ramp angled to the sky. Part aerial performance center, fun house, art gallery, sound stage, 60 foot sliding board, plush lounge, and panoramic lookout. It will be one of the largest and most interactive structures to premiere at the 2009 Burningman Arts Festival. In one week over 49,000 people will climb its slope and from there it will tour International Arts Festivals.

This unprecedented structure births a unique collaboration between over 35 emerging artists, six performance based companies, and five leading visionaries with international performance and creation credits from Cirque du Soleil, Dragone, Fuerzabruta, De la Guarda, Pilobolus, The MET, Broadway, The 2008 Olympics, Hollywood Bowl, Carnegie Hall, Radio City Music Hall, Madonna, David Letterman, The Oscars, various Television Shows and Feature Films.

Windmill Factory
155 North 3rd Street, NO. 15, Williamsburg, Brooklyn 9:17p-4a; $10 advance, $15 door includes one free beer windmillfactory@gmail.com
freewedgie.com

XXXXX SATURDAY, AUGUST 22 XXXXX

Remix Dojo presents the first-ever:

Remix Barbecue Shiai

Come out and watch grapplers and Sambo players from NYCS and Remix Dojo in an explosive Sambo and No-Gi grappling exhibition. Plus, of course, live hip-hop, DJs, beer, and barbecue. Live performance by Murdertronics. Featuring DJs: Praveen, Cmish.

210 Cook Street Rooftop
2-7p; $free with RSVP
shiai.rsvp@gmail.com

***** Also on SATURDAY, AUGUST 22 *****

Tsirkus Fotografika

Tsirkus will be plying its own brand of vintage photo stylings in their portable vintage studio.

Dreamland Gala
450 Union Street, Brooklyn
9p-midnight; $10 gets you a keepsake silver stock portrait in a protective folder, made right then and there, proceeds benefit Tsirkus Fotografika tsirkus.org

***** Also on SATURDAY, AUGUST 22 *****

Breast Friends Forever

A benefit for breast cancer. Breast Friends Forever is an evening of comedy, hip hop, and film. Each comic will perform a solo set and then later in the show debut a brand new rap song. There will be raffles and prizes throughout the night, delicious food, drink specials and a dance off.

The show will star downtown celeb's such as Diane O'Debra, Victor Varnado, Eliza Skinner, Liam McEneaney, Killy Dwyer, Shappy Seasholtz, Cristin O'Keefe Aptowicz, Rev Jen Miller and many, many, more. Don't miss this amazing night of kooky characters and laughter galore.

Bowery Poetry Club
308 Bowery, Manhattan
6-9:30p; $pay what you can

XXXXX WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 26 XXXXX

Brain Drain

A night of zombie mayhem and true nerd trivia. It's Your Brain.

Featuring a Cabin in the Woods by Greg LoProto, a short, intimate production of a new play concerning human relations in a zombie apocalypse. Also True Nerd Trivia. Every question requires insider knowledge of Comics, RPGs, Fantasy Literature, Warhammer, Sci-Fi movies, and so on. Categories include fantasy geography, fantasy biology, and fantasy sports. Prizes include drinks, candy, nerd pride, and the resentment of your peers. Consider it a chance for Faromir, Captain of Gondor, to show his quality.

Royal Oak Lounge
594 Union Avenue, at North 11th Street, Williamsburg, Brooklyn 8p; $10 all donations will go towards Figment Theatre's upcoming fall production of Original One-Act Plays about classic movie monsters figmenttheatre.com

XXXXX UPCOMING XXXXX

• Food Justice Revival, August 28
• Stranded 2009, September 5

XXXXX ONGOING XXXXX

• Better Rock Shows. Nonsense does not straight list rock shows in New York unless they occur in tandem with puppet shows or jump rope tournaments or in subway tunnels or in graveyards. For listings of good shows, especially shows that feature independent bands at quality venues like Death by Audio and those booked by hard-working promoters like Todd P or Sleep When Dead, consult resources like ohmyrockness.com, brooklynvegan.com/, sleepwhendeadnyc.com/calendar/, or the lively New York Happenings listserve on Yahoo groups launch.groups.yahoo.com/group/nyhappenings/. For the most exhaustive list of underground shows at unusual venues, track down a copy of the extremely useful -- and handsome -- Showpaper.

***** ONGOING: FRIDAYS *****

• Burlesque at the Beach. August 14: Jo Boobs Presents: God Damned Women. 10p; $15. Sideshows by the Seashore, corner of Surf Avenue and West 12th Street, Brooklyn. coneyisland.com/
• Sal Principato Teaches You to Cook, at his apartment (the address of which we'll leave undisclosed at the moment), time depends on when you're available; $15. Just email Sal at salvatpaol.com to set up a time and a date. http://salvatp.com/ NOTE: This listing comes from the excellent New Release list. Sign up for it here: newreleasenewyork.net.
• Manhattan Critical Mass. Union Square, 17th Street and Broadway, Manhattan. Last FRIDAY of the month. 7p; $free.
• Brooklyn Critical Mass. Grand Army Plaza entrance to Prospect Park, Brooklyn. Second FRIDAY of the month. 7p; $free.

***** ONGOING: SATURDAYS *****

• Floating Cabaret. Trapeze, burlesque, song, dance. Hosted by Olga and Bjorn. Galapagos Art Space, 16 Main Street, Brooklyn. 10p doors, $10. 718 222 8500. galapagosartspace.com.
• Coney Island Film Society. August 15: Carrie. 8:30p; $3-5, free popcorn. Sideshows by the Seashore, corner of Surf Avenue and West 12th Street, Brooklyn. coneyisland.com/
• Night Kayaking Tours, Manhattan and Brooklyn. Explore: Coney Island submarine, creepy Governors Island, gross Gowanus Canal, and money-making Manhattan. Website: http://docs.google.com/Doc?id=ddrw24x5_167dxdpf3d9
• Rock and Roll 101. Watch music documentaries projected on the wall. St. Jerome's, 155 Rivington, between Clinton and Suffolk, Manhattan. 4-9p; $free.
• Barefoot Boogie: No shooze no booze. The Boogie is a not-for-profit alcohol-free event that happens every second and fourth SATURDAY of the month. Insight Meditation Center, 28 West 27th Street, 10th floor, buzzer No. 27. 8:30p-12:30a. barefootboogie.org

***** ONGOING: SUNDAYS *****

• Coney Island Ask the Experts. August 16: Panel Discussion: Why Small Museums Matter. 4p; $5. Coney Island Museum, 1208 Surf Avenue, Brooklyn. coneyisland.com
• CrazyTown / Locoville. Odd open mike hosted by Steph Sabelli. Weirdoes welcome and encouraged. Under St. Marks Theater, 94 St. Marks, at First Avenue, Manhattan. 9p sign up-1a; $free.
• Grub. A cheap, simple dinner for strangers and co-conspirators. Rubulad home base, 338 Flushing, at Classon, Brooklyn. G train to Flushing or Classon stations, J,M,Z to Marcy, B61 bus to Flushing. First and third SUNDAYS, 6:30p doors, 7p dinner; $pay what you want, and bring your own booze. suckapants.com/grub.html
• Church of Craft, group crafting. Etsy Labs, 325 Gold Street, third floor, Brooklyn. 2-6p; $free. churchofcraft.org/
• NYC Bike Polo. No experience needed. We'll show you how to play. We have mallets and balls; bring your bicycle. 1:30-5p-ish (or later if it's really nice out); $free. Sara D. Roosevelt Park, Broome between Chrystie and Forsyth, Manhattan. groups.myspace.com/NYCBIKEPOLO

***** ONGOING: MONDAYS *****

• Glasslands Gallery Game Night. All ages, free food, free beer 8-9p, live music, and bingo. The Glasslands Gallery, 289 Kent Avenue, between South 1st and 2nd streets, Williamsburg, Brooklyn. 8p; $free. glasslands.blogspot.com/ and myspace.com/theglasslands
• Free movie screenings. Double feature, with free popcorn. The Lovin Cup, 93 N. 6th Street, Williamsburg, Brooklyn. 9p; $free. myspace.com/movienightqueen
• Aerial Open Work Out. Come play in 29 feet of vertical fun. Use our silks, lyras, and trapezes, or rig your own. 8-10p; $15, Sky Box, 342 Maujer Street, Williamsburg, Brooklyn, L train to Grand Street. 585 507 1770. RSVP to skybox.info@gmail.com
• Williamsburg Spelling Bee, compete for bar tab at a real adult spelling bee, every other MONDAY, 7:30p; free, Pete's Candy Store, 709 Lorimer St., Williamsburg, Brooklyn. petescandystore.com
• The Big Quiz Thing. NYC's live trivia spectacular. Crash Mansion, 199 Bowery, at Spring, Manhattan. Two Mondays a month. 7p doors; $7, $200 grand prize.
• Show and Tell. Each performer gets seven minutes. Writing contest and Beer Walk for free beer. Hosted by the O'Debra Twins. Bowery Poetry Club, 308 Bowery, Manhattan. MONDAYS 10p; $3. Monday, January 31: The heavy and strange Thank You For Not Screaming open.

***** ONGOING: WEDNESDAYS *****

• Drink N Draw. Art. Nudity. Beer. We provide the beer and the model, you bring your drawing tools of choice. 3rd Ward, 195 Morgan, Brooklyn. Second and fourth WEDNESDAYS 8-10.30p; $15, or $20 for two. afenton3rdward.com, 3rdward.com/.

***** ONGOING: THURSDAYS *****

• The Lower East Side Community Choir, a non-auditioned choir that believes that everyone can sing and that singing together in harmony with others is essential for personal and community health and vitality. Our repertoire is eclectic. If you love a cappella music and want to be able to join a drop-in gathering of like minded people, then this is for you. Lower East Side Girls Club, 56 East 1st Street, Manhattan. 7-9p; $donations. ubuntuchoirs.net/locator_United_States.php
• Private Ear Audio Theatre: Radio Plays. 8:30p; $?. Brooklyn Lyceum. privateear.org
• $mall �hange and House of Yes present: No Parking on the Dancefloor. Next party: July 30. A party bringing it back to dancing. Basically we do not have any kind of dogma or judgment. Do what feels comfortable to you and be respectful to those around ya, that's basically all we ask. Different DJs every time. House of Yes, 342 Maujer, near Morgan, Brooklyn. Every third THURSDAY, 9ish-midnightish (starts/ends early); $5-10 suggested donation. NOTE: This event is every third Thursday, not every Thursday. Also, sometimes they cancel the event for some reason or another. You should check first: smallchange666@gmail.com
• Carmine Street Jugglers. All levels welcome to practice juggling and related arts. 7:30-9:45p. Club is free, but building requires NYC Parks and Recreation membership ($0-$75 per year). http://jugglenyc.com/clubs.html
• Rocky Sullivan's Pub Quiz, with Quizmaster Scott M.X. Turner. 8:30p; $free admission, potable prizes. Rocky Sulivan's, 34 Van Dyke Street, Brooklyn. rockysullivans.com/quiz.html

XXXXX WISHLIST XXXXX

What have you been wishing for? Collaborators, grant monies, a new home? Please send brief listings to Alita at alitanonsensenyc.com. We only list available apartments, lofts, studios, and one-off rentals -- not spaces wanted.

***** ARTY STUFF *****

• Nonsense NYC celebrates 10 years in New York this October and we want your help. To kick off the weekend, we're organizing a poster show at 3rd Ward in Brooklyn. The goal is to start dreaming up what the hell we -- all of us, including you -- are going to do for the next 10 years. We want anyone who's ever listed an event on Nonsense (or wanted to) to be a part of this project. Give us a flyer, a poster, or a listing about your group, your project, or your event. To be clear, the posters should be for things that you want to do in the next 10 years, so you'll be creating posters for the shows, parties, and performances that you want to attend. Dream big. Dream small. Tell us about your cookie parties and your airships, your finger puppet operas and your mayoral re-election. Let's not live in the past. Let's live now and look the future square in the eye. It's going to be great. Email us if you want more details or to confirm that you'll get together a graphic. As always: jstark@nonsensenyc.com
• Flux Factory is soliciting proposals for participation in next month's official Flux Factory FundRager, "I'm on a Boat (and So Can You). Nearly a year after losing our home, Flux Factory is on the cusp of having a totally awesome new space again. We're getting ready to throw a big event to help fund construction on our new building. Our new fort isn't ready for a big party yet, so the party will be on a 140 foot, three-story boat docked discretely in the heart of industrial Brooklyn. Yes, that boat. Come share your talents with our community and be a part of something magical. We are seeking performers, sculptures, activities, installations, decorators, game leaders, and volunteers for setup, take down logistics, door, and backrubs. If you want to contribute creatively to Flux's next party, we'd love for you to fill out one of the above forms. We're looking to book DJs for two dance zones, acts on two stages, fire performers, burlesque, acts that can happen compactly in o ne of three small bizarre rooms, roaming performers, performers to sit on top of platforms in a stairwell, face painters, fortune tellers, performance art, and the truly uncategorizable. We're definitely looking for more traditional performers, but prefer multimedia extravaganzas, jump-rope competitions, utter chaos, and total weirdos doing stuff we've never imagined. http://tinyurl.com/imontheboat, http://tinyurl.com/fluxhelp, http://www.fluxfactory.org, shalin@fluxfactory.org
• Media Makers! Transportation Alternatives, NYC's leading advocates for cycling, announces the Biking Rules PSA Competition. Submit PSAs (moving or still images) with creative messages cyclists can follow for Rules of the Road and/or Why Biking Rules to encourage new and old riders alike to get out and ride. Grand Prize is $4,000 cash, and other prizes include a free Kona Bike, a consumer camera, and tons of cycling gear. Deadline to enter is August 31. Go to bikingrules.org/psa to submit and learn more about the competition.

***** SPACES *****

• We're two wordsy college grads in our early-mid 20s, looking for someone to replace our roommate, who's moving out in September. He occupied the entire basement floor of the place, which consists of one enormous bedroom and an adjoining half-bath. One person can live down there for $1,000 per month, or two folks can split it for $500 a piece, which is a steal, given that we also have: a backyard that belongs to our apartment only, laundry facilities on the premises, and a weekly CSA farm share that gives us organic, local vegetables (this has been paid for already; it'd be free for you). We live three blocks away from the Franklin Avenue stop of the 4/5 and 2/3 trains, in the Crown Heights/Prospect Heights area. Our lease is up in June, so this would be a nine-month sublet -- if you love the space, you're welcome to sign onto the lease in June and stay longer. Because it's a sublet, the room will be fully furnished until March, when our roommate gets back from London and wi ll need his stuff. We'd prefer veg-friendly, queer-friendly folk, as we're both some combination of those things, but carnivorous straights are welcome as long as they're welcoming. Contact mal.hellman(at)gmail.com.
• Two Rooms available in Williamsburg for one-year rental. One is for September 1, $900 per month, and other room in the upstairs apartment is available October 1, same price. These are shares in three-bedroom apartments. Put down one month deposit, and pay rent on first of month, no fees. Graham Avenue stop on L train. Looking for someone with a full time job/school, no pets (sorry), non-smoker. Share with creative, friendly, hard working independent house-mates, one gal, one guy. We like to do our own thing with occasional hang outs or backyard barbecues with friends. General atmosphere is relaxed, fun, no dramas. Room has big window, hardwood floors, white walls, high ceilings. Some furniture is available for use, (no charge), bed, desk, chair, book shelf. Wireless internet is only $5 per month. Share bathroom, kitchen, common area with couch, TV, DVD. Kitchen has all appliances, fully stocked, plenty of shelf space for you. We are clean but not freaks. Location is sweet. Close to restaurants, cafes, bars, McCarren Park etc. Quiet block, easy, safe location. Spacious backyard with trees and grass and barbcue. Great for film screenings too. Please give a little self-description including dates, longer is preferred. Contact: sagebrushfire(at)hotmail.com.
• Sunny little room in Greenpoint: Open house this Saturday, August 15. Room available has a big window, sunny, private but quite small, so best for someone who is away at work or school much of day, yet wants to return to a nice relaxed home. Also, better if you don't have a ton of stuff or much if any furniture, for that matter. Room is furnished or partly furnished, as you desire. Need a considerate person with good communication skills and always pays bills on time ... but also someone interested in the world around you, with opinions about life and actively involved in things that make you feel alive. $750 per month (wifi and all utilities included) / first and last month rent for move-in. Open house Saturday, August 15, 11a-6p. Contact Andrea for address: 718 344 0787 and/or email for more info and to tell me about yourself and your ideal length of stay, a.rollefson(at)yahoo.com.
• Huge room in huge apartment, 10 minutes to Brooklyn College, 25 minutes to Manhattan on B/Q/F trains (Kings highway stop) in Midwood, Brooklyn, a very safe, calm and boring area). Available September 1st for a low-key, calm, peaceful roommate. Six month minimum stay or longer. I'm 29, artistic and intellectual, and have lived in this apartment for six years. The bedroom is 200 square feet in itself, huge rectangular room with five bright windows. Brownish earth stone-like tile floor, ceiling fan and light, and air conditioner. Have never had heating complaints either. There is also an extra sewing/art/studio room that you may use -- I am never in there anyway. It's small, and I have fabric and a linen closet stored in there. There's a big table and some sewing machines too. You can use it to study or as an office, or whatever. Apartment itself is huge (1700 square feet) and very well set up for the total of three people who live here, including myself (dishwasher, two refri gerators, water cooler, etc). Contact thevolutionoflove(at)live.com.

XXXXX SPECTRE PRIORITY XXXXX

Before we had a name, the Spectre Event Horizon Group used to meet at a bar to commiserate about the news and trade what our business friends call best practices. The group has expanded since then, but it remains premised on smartening the crowd mind. There are no subject limits; our favorite is our sci-fi present, and we like anything that goes toward a better understanding of human behavior and ecology. Our basic idea is to connect minds with mind-blowing information and create a space for the informal trade of specialized investigative research, presented for the non-specialist.

The Spectre email list, which is a separate group from this column, is a moderated open forum. People are encouraged to join and to post. This section is compiled for Nonsense by J. Sinopoli. Contact us at spectre.event.horizon.groupgmail.com or spectregroup.org. Some of what came in this week:

***** Space-Time Foam *****

http://spectregroup.wordpress.com/2009/08/13/space-time-foam/

Why Light Runs Late
http://brightcove.newscientist.com/services/player/bcpid2227271001?bctid=33527827001 http://www.newscientist.com/article/mg20327210.900-late-light-reveals-what-space-is-made-of.html "It is an audacious claim that, if verified, would put us squarely on the road to a quantum theory of gravity and on towards the long-elusive "theory of everything". If it were based on a single chunk of data, it might easily be dismissed. But it is not. Since that first sighting, other telescopes have started to see similar patterns. It was easy to pinpoint the source of the data blip - a 20-minute burst of hugely energetic gamma rays from a galaxy some 500 million light years away known as Markarian 501. As Wagner and his colleagues analysed the data in the weeks and months that followed, an odd pattern emerged. Lower-energy photons from Markarian 501 had outpaced their higher-energy counterparts, arriving up to 4 minutes earlier. This should not happen. If an object is 500 million light years away, light from it always takes 500 million years to get to us, no more, no less. Whatever their energy, photons always travel at the same speed, the implacable cosmic speed limit: t he speed of light. "The more fascinating explanation would be that this delay is not intrinsic to the source, but that it happens along the way from the source to us," says Wagner. "All approaches to quantum gravity, in their own very different ways, agree that empty space is not so empty after all," says theorist Giovanni Amelino-Camelia. It is recent results from NASA's Fermi Gamma-ray Space Telescope, launched last year, that provide the most tantalising glimpse yet of something extraordinary going on out there. Last September, it spied a burst of gamma rays from a source nearly 12 billion light years away. According to an analysis by Amelino-Camelia and Lee Smolin of the Perimeter Institute for Theoretical Physics in Waterloo, Canada, the zippiest low-energy photons beat some of the high-energy stragglers to Earth by anything up to 20 minutes."

Quantum Foam
http://www.astronomycafe.net/qadir/ask/a11792.html "This is an idea that was originally proposed by Nobel physicist John Wheeler back in the early 1960's to describe what space-time 'looks like' at scales of 10^-33 centimeters. Since Einstein's general theory of relativity requires that gravitational fields and space-time be one and the same mathematical objects, this means that space-time itself is also subject to the kinds of uncertainty required by quantum systems. Wheeler imagined that this indeterminacy for space-time required that at the so-called Planck Scale of 10^-33 centimeters and 10^-43 seconds, space-time has a foaminess to it with sudden changes in its geometry into a wealth of complex shapes and textures. You would have quantum black holes appear at 10^-33 centimeters, then evaporate in 10^-43 seconds. Wormholes would form and dissolve, and later theorists even postulated 'baby universe' production could happen under these conditions."

Space-Time Boils
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=84_kXpsDJEk

Loop Quantum Gravity
http://www.newscientist.com/article/mg19125645.800-you-are-made-of-spacetime.html "For loop quantum gravity to succeed as a fundamental theory of gravity, it should at the very least predict that apples fall to Earth. In other words, Newton's law of gravity should naturally arise from it. It is a tall order for a theory that generates space and time from scratch to describe what happens in the everyday world, but Carlo Rovelli and his team have succeeded in doing just that. It is not so simple to measure when space has a complex quantum architecture of the sort in loop quantum gravity, where it is not even clear what is meant by distance. This has been the biggest obstacle to showing how Newton's law can emerge from quantised space. According to loop quantum gravity, the fabric of space seethes with quantum fluctuations, so the distance between two points is forever changing, and can even take several values at the same time."

Black Holes as Reproductive Organs
http://thankgodforevolution.com/node/1679 "Darwin could not have anticipated, for example, the work of physicist Lee Smolin. Smolin has utilized Darwinian concepts to shape a theory of the universe that he calls "cosmological natural selection." He developed a theory that posits the existence of a vast number of unseen universes, each generated by the collapse of a black hole. The conditions of those collapses bestow each universe with its own set of fundamental parameters, such as the masses of its various subatomic particles. Just as life diversified on Earth, the "multiverse" in Smolin's theory evolved from simple beginnings into a complex and varied assemblage of universes, each exhibiting a distinctive set of traits. Cosmological natural selection could help to solve one of the main conundrums in physics: the seemingly arbitrary values of the fundamental constants in our universe. Why is a neutron, for example, more massive than a proton rather than the other way around? If a wealth of universes with unique para meters exists, Smolin says, then our own case does not seem so special or so unlikely. In fact, cosmological natural selection specifically favors universes�like ours�in which massive stars can form and give rise to new black holes. "By using Darwinian methodology, I was able to get an explanation for the improbable complexity of our universe," Smolin says."

Gamma Gamma Hey
http://blogs.discovery.com/cosmic_ray/2009/08/could-death-spiral-spell-doomsday.html "...A gamma-ray burst from a star a few thousand light-years away would have a threefold impact on Earth. First it would tear up nitrogen and oxygen molecules in the atmosphere and they would combine to form nitrous oxides. These would eat up the ozone layer causing a flood of ultraviolet radiation to reach Earth. The smoggy oxides would darken the atmosphere, and cool the Earth. The nitrous oxides would rain as nitric acid, devastating vegetation. Did I say nitrous oxide? Does that mean we would die laughing?"

XXXXX LEARNING XXXXX

We look for the sort of classes you circled in college course catalogs but never managed to fit into your schedule. And we also look for the kind of things that no college could teach. Cheap and eclectic is the rule, though all rules get broken occasionally, and we especially love workshops, round-tables, and teachers who won't take your work out of your hands and show you how to do it right. One-time listings are categorized, with general recurring classes at the end. We thrive on your suggestions, so make sure to tell us about upcoming classes that you think are nifty-keen.

Learning is compiled and edited weekly by Libby Sentz. Send listings, announcements, and corrections to her at libbysentz(at)me.com.

NOTE: Once more, special thanks to Avital Oliver, who edited this section for a year. Avital is moving to Israel to have a baby and explain why math is important to curious people. We wish him all the luck in the world.

***** LEARNING: FRIDAY *****

Earrings Level 1

Attach your earring designs onto ear wires using the "hangman's noose" wrap, one of the basic staples in jewelry design. Headpins and base metal earwires included. Beads are not included, so bring some or take advantage of the 10% class-participant discount at the store on the day of the class.

Brooklyn Bead Box
244 Smith Street, Brooklyn
5-6:30p; $35
866-504-2702
brooklynbeadbox.com

***** LEARNING: SATURDAY *****

How to Solder a Volver

Those who purchase Volver (http://www.imagenode.org/blinky09/), a 6-by-6 blinky kit, with patterns by members of Burner camps Image Node and Disorient, will be taught how to solder it, or even hack it, at the Blinky Tupperware Party. All funds go toward helping camps Image Node and Disorient blow many minds at Burning Man.

1717 Troutman Street, no. 203, Queens
L train to Jefferson
2p and 5p, August 15 and 16
$40 for kits purchased at the studio

NOTE: Email time-slot preference to twina(at)imagenode.org.

***** LEARNING: Also on SATURDAY *****

Natural Watercolors

Resident nature center artist Kathy Trimarco shows how to capture the natural beauty of the forest with watercolors. From ferns and flowers to animals that fly, the forest is full of inspiration. Learn how to depict light, shadow, texture, and movement in nature. Pre-payment and registration required.

Blood Root Valley�Greenbelt
700 Rockland Avenue, Staten Island
1-3p; $8
718-351-3450
nycparks.org/parks/R129/

***** LEARNING: Also on SATURDAY *****

Bryant Park Chess Lessons

Learn strategies, tactics, unexpected attacks, and unusual combinations from the experts at Midtown Backgammon and Chess.

Bryant Park Chess Area
40th Street & 6th Avenue, Manhattan Noon-1p; $free
212-768-4242
nycparks.org/parks/bryantpark/events/167291

***** LEARNING: SUNDAY *****

Triple Threat Workshop

Learn three dance styles from three inspiring teachers in one day: Tribal Bellydance with Fayzah, Congolese with Funmilayo, and Samba with Danielle Lima. In addition to amazing moves, students will gain an understanding of dance's power as a healing art. Featuring live music, free refreshments, talks with the artists, and more. All levels welcome.

The Ailey Extension
405 West 55th Street, Manhattan
3-7p, $80
dancespiral.com/TripleWorkshopPage.html

NOTE: We've taken classes from each of these teachers, and we know they rule.

***** LEARNING: Also on SUNDAY *****

Femmes Fatale and Funny Ladies

Burlesque masters Jo "Boobs" Weldon and Julie Atlas Muz are leading this class to help women develop two personae: one femme fatale and one funny lady. Students will create names for their characters, develop movement, and discuss things they might say or do in character. While oriented to performers, this is great for nonperformers too.

School of Burlesque
167 Orchard Street, Manhattan
5-9p; $50
schoolofburlesque.com

***** LEARNING: TUESDAY *****

Bryant Park Knits

Free instruction for beginners provided by Gotta Knit.

Bryant Park
40th Street at Sixth Avenue, Manhattan
Upper Terrace gravel, across from the Bryant Park Grill 1:30-3p; $free
Preregistration required
212-768-4242
nycparks.org/parks/bryantpark/

***** LEARNING: WEDNESDAY *****

Free Writing Class

One-hour writing workshop with author and journalist David Farley, courtesy of Gotham Writers' Workshop.

Barnes & Noble, Lincoln Center
1972 Broadway, Manhattan
7:30-8:30p; $free
writingclasses.com/CommunityEvents/index.php/index.php

***** LEARNING: Also on WEDNESDAY *****

Feng Shui and Clutter

Learn what feng shui says about the effects and placement of clutter, and how to use that as a tool to help us clear clutter. At the end of this session, participants will be ready to apply nine simple steps to achieve an uncluttered space and mind.

New York Open Center
22 East 30th Street, Manhattan
8�10p; $30
212-219-2527
opencenter.org/feng-shui-for-new-yorkers-2/

***** LEARNING: Also on WEDNESDAY *****

Old Books, Rare Books: Learning About the Value of Your Books

Learn to use the library's many resources to develop an appreciation for antiquarian books and to determine if your books are rare. This covers what you need to know before buying or selling an old book.

Stephen A. Schwarzman Building
Fifth Avenue at 42nd Street, Manhattan
1:15p; $free
917-ASK-NYPL
nypl.org/calendar

***** LEARNING: UPCOMING *****

Bookbinding: The Coptic Stitch, at 3rd Ward. Mention Nonsense NYC when you register (deadline August 19) for a 10% discount on this class. August 23; 3rdward.com

***** LEARNING: ONGOING *****

BODY

• Yoga in the park with Laughing Lotus at 10th Avenue and 15th Street. Manhattan. Wednesdays (through Sept. 2) 7-8p; $free. laughinglotus.com
• Self-defense at St. Mark's Church. Manhattan. Wednesdays 7:30-8:30p; $free. mkdkarate.com/classes.html
• Trampoline at Streb Lab for Action Mechanics. Brooklyn. Mondays, Tuesdays, Thursdays 7-8:30p; $25. streb.org/V2/school/adults.html
• Balkan folk dance at the Hungarian House. Manhattan. Wednesdays 6:30-8p; $12. nycfolkdance.org
• Bujinkan Budo Taijutsu at Triskelion Arts. Brooklyn. Training is centered on jissen gata combat fighting. Membership is selective, but you may attend the first class without paying dues. Saturdays 5-7p, Sundays 2�4p. triskelionarts.org/events.htm#classesoffered
• Group tightwire walking and foot juggling workshop at Trapeze Loft. Williamsburg. Sundays 5-6p; $25. thetrapezeloft.com
• Power Vinyasa with Hosh Yoga in McCarren Park. Manhattan. Saturdays 3p; $donation. hoshyoga.org/schedule.html
• Capoeira, a Brazilian martial art and dance, with Capoeira Angola Quintal. Manhattan. Various days; $15. afrobrazilarts.org/newyorkcapoeira/index.htm
• Co-ed nonsexual naked yoga. Manhattan. Various days; $?. groups.yahoo.com/group/coyoga/
• Kayaking on the Hudson River. Slots are 20 minutes, but kayakers may go more than once. Manhattan. Weather permitting, Saturdays and Sundays (through Oct. 11) 10a-5p; $free. nycgovparks.org/parks/riversideparksouth/events/166151
• Parkour workshops. Manhattan. Sundays 4p; $15+. nyparkour.com
• Canoeing and kayaking in Hallets Cove. Socrates Sculpture Park, Long Island City. Weather permitting, Sundays (through October 25) 1p; $free. licboathouse.org
• Aerial yoga. Manhattan and Williamsburg. Various days; $20. aerialyoga.com

BRAIN

• Math studies at the School of Mathematics, which cultivates a natural, stress-free environment where everyone can explore, study, and discover mathematics. Prior knowledge is not assumed. Brooklyn. Various days; $free. thewe.net/math
• Writing with constraints at the Writhings Society. Practice writing with arbitrary, sometimes mathematical, rules invented by the French group Oulipo and others; no experience necessary. Brooklyn. Wednesdays 6:30-8:30p; $5+. proteusgowanus.com
• Open craft/hack nights at NYC Resistor. Brooklyn. Thursdays 6-9p; $free. nycresistor.com/2008/11/22/open-craft-hack-nights-on-thursdays/

HANDS

• The Fixers Collective is a social experiment in improvisational fixing and mending. Participants bring their broken objects and put them on a large, common fixing table and share ideas and techniques for repairing, mending, enhancing, or repurposing the objects. Brooklyn. Thursdays 6-9p; $5. proteusgowanus.com/main/fixers-collective
• Craft-On (fun with yarn, thread, and more) with Church of Craft. Brooklyn. Various days; $free. churchofcraft.org/2008/10/01/welcome-nyc-crafters/
• Freegan Bike Workshop: Learn how to turn found bike parts into working bicycles and build your own bike. Brooklyn. Wednesdays and Saturdays; $free. 123communityspace.org/event
• Beading classes at Brooklyn Bead Box. Various days; $varies. brooklynbeadbox.com/classes.html
• Classes in the needle arts at Brooklyn General Store. Various days; $varies. brooklyngeneral.com/classes.htm
• Knitting and spinning classes at the Yarn Tree. Various days; $varies. theyarntree.com/studio/classes/
• Mosaic workshops. Manhattan. Wednesdays 1-4p and 6-9p; $100 for four-class workshop. newyorkartworld.com/things/things-mosaic.html
• Figure drawing at Brooklyn Artists Gym. Mondays 6:30-9p and Saturdays 12-3p; $8+. brooklynartistsgym.com/events.html#workshops
• Project Film School's film-theory freeschool with a weekly screening series and online resources. Brooklyn. Sunday nights; $free. projectfilmschool.org
• Screenprinting at 123 Printshop. Brooklyn. Fridays 5-8p and Saturdays 3-5p; $3+. 123communityspace.org/program/screenprinting-workshop-50
• Bicycle repair classes at Time's Up! Manhattan and Brooklyn. Various days. $free. times-up.org/index.php?page=bike-co-op
• Home-improvement classes, from tiling to drywall repair, at Home Depot stores. Saturdays and Sundays; $free. homeimproverclub.com/workshops.aspx?Type=3

GRAB BAG

• Night School at House of Yes. A different workshop each week on everything from whistling to wine tasting. Email kaeburke(at)gmail.com if you are interested in hosting your own workshop. Brooklyn. Wednesdays 9p; $varies. houseofyes.org/events/
• 3rd Ward offers multi- and interdisciplinary courses in visual art, technology, and fabrication. Various days; $varies. 3rdward.com/classes
• Gearilla!, a street theater workshop (on bikes). Various locations. Tuesdays 2p; $10+. monicahunken.com/classes.html
• Didgeridoo classes in Prospect Park for music, meditation, and healing. Saturdays; $10. didgeproject.com
• Creative arts classes at Spoke the Hub. Brooklyn. Various days; $varies. spokethehub.org
• First aid for cats and dogs. Manhattan. Saturdays 10-2p; $65 (if purchased online). nyredcross.org/viewclass.php/prmCID/32/month/08/year/2009

XXXXX HELP XXXXX

Ever taken part in an old-fashioned barn raising? We never have, but we think it would be kind of cool -- all those neighbors in funny hats and overalls coming together to pound nails, stand up walls, and raise the collective roof. In that spirit, we look for one-day volunteer opportunities with no long-term commitments required. Our goal is to help groups or individuals that serve the greater good in small but significant ways, avoiding mega-nonprofits and people just looking for free labor. Know of any existing opportunities? Looking for ways to help out? Or need volunteers to get your own community project off the ground? Send your requests to Joanie Schaffer at schafferificgmail.com.

***** HELP: WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 19 *****

Shamanic Panic Spore

In tribal societies, shamans are healers and visionary leaders who go through dangerous initiations to gain knowledge from the spirit world. Modern culture repressed and dismissed shamanism as archaic and irrational. Today, our society seems increasingly irrational, unable to change its course in the face of looming environmental and economic catastrophe. Shamanic practices such as soul retrieval, journeys with sacred plants, and ecstatic dance are gaining popularity. What meaning and value do these techniques have for us today? Join us for an evening of �Shamanic Panic,� as we discuss, experience, and explore. We are looking for volunteers to assist in the following areas: set-up; bar (alcoholic and non-alcoholic drinks, food); door (accepting donations and supplying name tags, etc.); and clean-up.

Collective Hardware
169 Bowery St
Shifts from 5:30-11p
sagewindgmail.com

***** SATURDAY, AUGUST 15 *****

Downtown Dance Festival

Volunteers will work with staff from Battery Dance Company to present the 28th Annual Downtown Dance Festival, a free roving event held each summer in Lower Manhattan parks, plazas and piers. The festival invites audiences to enjoy nine days of ethnic, classical, and contemporary dance performances from around the world. This year, the festival will return to Chase Plaza and The Lawn at Battery Park and will also cross the harbor with performances on Governors Island. During the nine days of the Festival, volunteer ushers will greet audience members, hand out playbills and help with other various tasks, such as helping to set up and take down the stage, setting up chairs at Chase Plaza, or working with groups of children who are visiting for our special educational outreach segment of the festival. And you will have plenty of time to watch the performances, as well. Volunteers should be able to commit to at least one day for a two-hour block during the week of August 15-23.

Chase Plaza and Battery Park Lawn
1 Chase Manhattan Plaza, Manhattan
internbatterydance.org.

***** HELP: UPCOMING *****

• Brooklyn Animal Action is a non-profit in the works looking to do animal rescue work in Brooklyn...the papers are being filed with the lawyer and it's close to being a done deal. Now we are looking for someone who would be willing to donate a little time and help us create a logo. Most of our work is with cats, simply because there are so many homeless cats in Brooklyn, but we don't rule out helping dogs, rabbits, or other animals in need. We do a lot of trap-neuter-return work as well as find foster and permanent homes for all of the kittens and friendly adult cats we come across. Our goal is to find homes for as many as we can, and for those we can't, we aim to at least improve the quality of their lives by providing them with medical care - neutering and spaying, vaccinations, etc, � and work to keep the population down. If any of you are artists and have an idea for an image, or if you know anyone who might be interested, it would be greatly appreciated (and I'm sure we could find a way to plug you/your business in our newsletters/at fundraisers, etc.)
• August 20-September 22: The Age of Stupid team seek 5 New York based interns for one month packing out US screenings, promoting Age of Stupid, pulling off the biggest and greenest film premiere and helping to avert runaway climate change. We will be working out of our temporary New York Office in Chelsea. On September 21 and 22, The Age of Stupid Global Premiere will launch the film in over 40 countries and in 400 cinemas across the US. We are planning the biggest and greenest film event the world has ever seen, with the aim of catapulting climate change right into the centre of the public consciousness in the last few months leading up to the crucial Copenhagen summit this December, when all our futures will be decided. At the heart of the event will be a solar powered cinema screening in New York. This is going to be a massive event and we need your help to do it. Please send your CV to internageofstupid.net (subject line: "NEW YORK INTERNSHIP APPLICATION: YOUR NAME") along with an answer to the following question in 300 words or less: 'I want the internship because?'. Please make it clear which internship you are applying for. Applications must be in by midnight on Sunday, August 9. Find out more at: ageofstupid.net, notstupid.org
• August 30: The Inaugural 150th Street Ultimate Block Party and Arts Fest. We are currently seeking entertainers from all walks of life/genres, grassroots organizations to host educational and/or interactive booths, workshop organizers, prized for our raffle, artists for art installations, DJs, performance artists, dance ensembles, volunteers, etc. The Hybrid Movement Company, a fiscally sponsored organization, will be hosting the Arts Fest for our community, families, friends, and neighbors in the vicinity of 150th Street between Amsterdam and Broadway on Sunday, August 30. The block party provides a forum for neighbors and community members to get to know one another with the goal of strengthening neighborhood spirit and encouraging residents to look after the neighborhood, in addition to providing a family-oriented festive environment to celebrate the connectivity of community members, all while promoting the well-being of our environment. We welcome your participation. Contact thehybridmovementcompanygmail.com or 775 450 2484.
• November 12. Set up help for the NephCure Foundation. Help is needed for the NephCure Foundation's 2009 New York Countdown to a Cure. Ten volunteers are needed to help with set-up for this charity event. Volunteers should arrive at 1p to begin set-up and will be fed. Countdown to a Cure will be held at the Citi Field Caesars Club in Flushing, Queens. Over 800 guests are expected. The reception-style dinner will begin at 6:30p. All proceeds benefit the NephCure Foundation, the only organization committed to finding a cause and cure for two devastating kidney diseases, Nephrotic Syndrome and Focal Segmental Glomerulosclerosis (FSGS). Minimum age 15. Please contact Miriam Long at mlongnephcure.org for more information. volunteermatch.org/search/opp572855.jsp

***** HELP: ONGOING *****

• Help Seniors Hungry to E-mail. City Hall Senior Center has a computer lab with six computers but no instructor. If you have a solid handle on computer skills (you don't need to be a whiz, although that's a plus) and want to work with seniors, we need you. Our seniors are eager to learn the basics of internet navigation and email use. You will teach a weekly class of seniors in the early afternoon. You can even develop the class into a program with intermediate and advanced classes if you want. This is a great opportunity to develop your teaching skills and make a difference too. Comfort with and knowledge of basic computer uses, desire to work with seniors and teaching experience are a plus. volunteermatch.org/search/opp573589.jsp
• Food Servers of St. John's Bread and Life. We are in need of groups that would be interested in helping out in our Soup Kitchen and Food Pantry. Minimum age 21. 795 Lexington Avenue, Brooklyn. volunteermatch.org/search/opp572876.jsp
• Looking for volunteers to do light administrative duties for non-profit outreach opera/musical theater group based in Washington Heights and Inwood. Most of the duties can be performed at home on your own computer. This is a great prospect for some one pursuing a degree in artistic administration. Looking for someone who can volunteer 5-10 hours a month. Again, just looking for someone to perform light administrative duties. For more info, contact cheron.g.cowangmail.com or visit nystreetopera.com.
• The GiveGoodGet Project is looking for "Good Deed Ambassadors" to take to the streets and find people doing good for their community! GiveGoodGet is a brand new project, still in its pilot stage, with the purpose of acknowledging good Samaritans for their contributions to making their neighborhoods stronger, friendlier places to live. We need outgoing, dedicated volunteers to identify and interview Samaritans on the streets, and award them with a small token of appreciation. To top off the fact that this is a great way to spread positive energy around the city and meet great people, all Good Deed Ambassadors will be compensated for their time (15/hr)! Interested? Please email marliewilsonstreetattack.com with your contact information, resume, and reason why you want to get involved.
• Reverend Billy Talen of the Church of Life After Shopping is the Green Party candidate for Mayor of NYC. The election is November 3 and we're looking for volunteers to help us between now and the election. Come share your fabulous talents with us, whatever they may be. We have a new headquarters at 250 Lafayette (between Prince and Spring) in lovely SoHo. Whether you're a poet, an artist, an organizer, or just willing to do odd jobs around HQ, like run errands or stuff envelopes, we'd love to have you working with us. To get involved, go to our web site and sign up on the volunteer page, stop by HQ, or come to our weekly meeting for new volunteers on Wednesdays from 7-9p in HQ. Right now we're especially in need of web savvy folks who know Drupal - we need Drupal administrators and Drupal themers to help with our web site. VoteRevBilly.org.
• Lit Drift: �Storytelling in the 21 Century� Seeks creative folks. I'm looking for bloggers, marketers, event organizers, and tech people to help out on our new blog dedicated to highlighting innovations in storytelling, with the ultimate goal to celebrate the art and craft of storytelling (in all its forms) by serving as a storyteller's resource and community. Lit Drift will start out as a blog, and eventually grow into an offline headquarters and creative space. But in the meantime, it's just a blog, so no one is getting paid until the site starts generating serious traffic and revenue. All I am looking for is a few passionate, creative people to pitch in for a few hours each week from the comfort of their own homes, and maybe get together every once in a while to discuss how the site is doing, where it's going, and schmooze over a beer or two (or ten). Please get in touch if you're interested at julialitdrift.com and tell me about yourself. litdrift.com.
• We can always use help in our office during regular business hours. There are a range of projects that volunteers can help with, some examples: press clippings, a Google Maps project (related to Community Boards and Council Districts), lending a hand in our events closet re-organization, general data entry projects and much more. Volunteers are welcome to come in for short or longer shifts, as often as you want. Please feel free to call or email Elena (volunteer and membership outreach coordinator) with any questions or to set up a time to come by and help out. elenatransalt.org 646 873 6036
• GALLOP, a New York City-based nonprofit corporation offers therapeutic riding lessons to individuals with disabilites at the historic Kensington Stables in the East Windsor Terrace section of Brooklyn, near Prospect Park. Staffed by a riding instructor certified by NARHA (North American Riding for the Handicapped Association) and a supported by licensed physical therapists, as well as a dedicated and experienced group of volunteers, the program offers a safe and supportive environment in which an individual can reap the many benefits of therapeutic riding. GALLOP is always in need of volunteers to help out with our program in any way. No horse experience is necessary, but it does help. We provide all the training you will need. We need people to help out at the stable with the horses and riders during lessons. Also, we have tons of "behind the scenes", such as office work, fundraising, grant writing, etc. Visit gallopnyc.org.
• SafeWalk is a free service to increase safety in our communities. From 11p Friday to 2a Saturday, we organize volunteers to take your call, bike to your location, and walk you to a destination within a 10-15 block radius. Our area of service currently includes Williamsburg, Greenpoint, Bedford Stuyvesant, Bushwick, Fort Greene, Clinton Hill, and downtown Brooklyn. Interested in becoming a volunteer? Contact safewalknycgmail.com or visit rightrides.org/templates/volunteer.php?page=vol_service.
• More than a barn, we're raising the mother of all meeting houses. New Yorkers deserve the basic democratic right�enjoyed by most other Americans and in most of the country's big cities�to have a direct say in our city's future and the laws we live by. (Just think: we could actually make dancing legal again.) The right of citizens to propose and vote on laws is fundamental to democratic government around the country. Some of NYC's lowercase democrats aim to win it and bring it into the 21st century. Join in designing the meeting house (i.e. writing the needed amendments to our city's charter), help grow the November '09 - June '10 petitioning drive, or find out more at lowercased.org.
• The Fortune Society is looking for volunteers to teach reading, writing and math to former prisoners and young people facing prison time. Contact 212 691 7554 x250 or visit fortunesociety.org.
• NY Artists Unlimited is a 25 year old, multicultural nonprofit that takes professional theatre and art to under-served audiences. Volunteers/ interns are used in all areas: administration, office work, design, graphics, technical, fundraising & development, PR/marketing, creative areas, and more. We are soon moving back into our renovated East Village arts center and need help in design, planning & development, fundraising, PR/marketing. In the summer, we present the International CringeFest, which includes the Bad Plays, Bad Musicals, and Bad Films Festivals. All proceeds go to support our work with under-served audiences. Class credit is available for college interns. Come join us in an artistic, supportive environment where noble deeds are being done and great creativity is taking place. No pay, but snacks, beverages, occasionally lunch available. Visit the website for further info: www.NYartists.orgVisit the website for further info: NYartists.org or contact Nyartunlt[a t]aol.com.
• The Rock Dove Project focuses on connecting health care practitioners who offer cheap/free services with seekers of those services. rockdovecollective.org/project
• Mentor kids through skateboarding, surfing and snowboarding at Stoked Mentoring. Contact infostoked.org
• Rescue disoriented and injured birds and ultimately help migratory birds make it to their destinations as a Project Safe Flight Volunteer. volunteernycaudubon.org
• Volunteer with Books Through Bars, an affiliated project of ABC No Rio that sends books to prisoners all over the country. Books Through Bars meets Mondays and Thursdays 7:30-9:30p and Sundays 5-8p at the NYC AIDS Housing Network, 80-A Fourth Ave, Brooklyn. abcnorio.org/affiliated/btb.html
• Help feed the homeless by volunteering at a City Harvest special event. cityharvest.org
• Volunteer as a writing tutor for kids at 826NYC. 826NYC.org
• Dog walking and Cat Petting at the Brooklyn Animal Rescue Coalition. barcshelter.org

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